Lou Reads about Vampire Awakenings from Sanguinarius

by King Lou on July 4, 2010

Pity the poor misunderstood vampire! How they must suffer the slings and arrows of the normal world… Okay, I’m not going to sugar coat this. I think people who think they are vampires are retarded. I can understand the idea of playing a role when you get to that awkward “Where do I belong” part of your life but this is just dumb. Basically I found a website that lists the best stories of Vampires realizing they are what they are and they are not at all just normal sad teens looking for a reason they are different. Maybe at one time they would have been considered punks or goths… But no. Instead they are somehow forever cursed vampires who just happen to be teens that are getting older. What… EVER…

Get Ready to Be Lame for Eternity!

Okay… In all seriousness, if you are a recently awakened vampire then please go out an buy this book. The New Vampire’s Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night. It could be the difference between a life of running from the Hunters and one of regular teenage nerd stuff!

In honor of the dearly departed Wesley Willis…


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Shane July 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm

What the fuck. They sound like those kids in the vampire episode of south park haha

JJ July 10, 2010 at 2:30 am

This makes me wanna DIE.

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