Lou Reads ep 187 – NSFW Stories from High School

by King Lou on November 21, 2019

I don’t remember a lot from High School but what I do recall is mainly the dumb shit my friends and fellow classmates got into. Most of my stories from High School revolve around drinking too much and doing graffiti (separately). A kid did bring a gun to school but he was just showing off, not trying to kill everyone for some teen angsty reason. IIRC he was kicked out of the school at a later date for something minor that appeared to be the final straw/excuse the principle was looking for to get the guy out. This episode of Lou Reads I went to AskReddit and read a bunch of stories of people’s most NSFW memories from High School. I hope you enjoy it!

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Have you ever had this conversation? “Look, it’s my first time going to get a “massage” and I’m not sure how to make sure my “massage” ends in a “happy ending.” I mean, if it just ends in just getting my body relaxed with a real “massage” I guess that would be okay, too… but I’m really hoping to, you know… get a certain muscle worked on… you know? Oh, you don’t? Look, mom, I need to go…” Well, if you have then you should be checking out RUB MAPS instead of asking your mom for Asian Massage Parlour advice. RUB MAPS is a consumer review site for illicit massages with an entire, active forum for its users. Unfortunately you have to pay to see the reviews. Luckily you can see the forums for free and it’s a great source for all your “going to have sex with a masseuse” questions.

This time around I didn’t actually read any of the site reviews but I may do so if I ever revisit. I hope this doesn’t give you blue balls… Also, if you get confused by any of the slang in this episode please consult this amazing massage parlour slang guide. You’re gonna need it!

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Lou Reads ep 185 – Adult DVD Forums

by King Lou on May 31, 2019

It wasn’t so long ago that DVD’s were the awesome collectables. Now, of course DVD’s are taking up space in your home because we all just stream everything. This month’s forum is all about people who hang out the AdultDVDTalk Forums. It’s a fairly active forum with threads that sometimes run for over a decade. What do they talk about there? Well, mostly they talk about how much they love or hate different kinds of porn. Mostly they talk about how much they love anal porn but are sometimes disappointed by it. Occasionally they throw in some other topics as well.

If I can see the red inside it’s over for me.

Thanks for listening! Tell your friends! Ask for a magnet!

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WHYYY!!?!11

Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you! Or, you know, maybe they’d just kind of think you’re a jerk or maybe, just maybe, they’d listen and understand that you have a legitimate point about and take it into consideration. Either way, this month’s episode is basically people airing their grievances in a place where their friends are basically never going to see them. That is unless they are part of the Something Awful forums. And let’s face it, these days that is less and less likely. The thread I am reading from started over a decade ago and is over 400 pages long! That’s a lot of complaining! If I learned anything from this episode it’s that there are a lot of people with issues around weed in this world…

This image says it all.

Thanks for listening!

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Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

by King Lou on March 19, 2019

Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that was it was when it first appeared in 1995. Over the years someone, I don’t know who, has been selecting certain posts to be classified as BEST OF CRAIGSLIST.  So you can imagine that after 24 years there have been a lot of qualifying posts!

This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.

Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!

Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!

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Greetings, friends and those interested in the more obscure parts of the internet. This months episode is a visit to the fabulously spam-destroyed pages of Artpit-Fetish.com. This site was once the home of a small number of folks that really liked armpits more than most people (if people think about armpits at all.) Now, sadly, the forums are almost 99% spambots with the occasional lonely armpit lover trying to call out in the void…

According to some guy in this episode, the following video sparked a life long obsession about masturbating to men’s armpits. See if you can spot any particularly erotic pits! Specifically, Kenny Chesney’s wild underarm action is what drove the gentleman in question wild. Please, try to control your own feverish self-pleasure urges when watching it!

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Are you feeling the protrusion yet? Please enjoy this episode about milking your prostate. If you don’t know how to milk your prostate by the end of this episode then you just aren’t trying very hard…

I miss Prince, too…


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Lou Reads ep 181 – The Spicy Talk Forums

by King Lou on January 17, 2019

As a married man who hates breasts I could not get down with this forum. I mean, who likes breasts? Especially breasts full of milk that are being shared with lots of grown dudes and ladies looking for some kind of Adult Nursing Relationship? Oh right, the people who used to hang out at Spicy Talk Forums!

Good night, sweet cowboy…

Ok, I was lying. I don’t really hate breasts. Please don’t send me hate mail and pictures of your breasts to let me know how angry you all are at me. Reading this forum was fairly funny because of how almost every thread somehow got around to talking about adult breastfeeding… In the end I decided to just double down on all the ANR talk and accept the concept that there are a lot of people out there who think about drinking mothers milk ALL THE TIME… I hope you enjoy it!

I am planning a small bit of bonus content in a week. Keep your ears posted!

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Lou Reads ep 180: Do you have the stomach to endure the Big Guts Forum?

December 1, 2018

I think we can all agree that everyone loves that feeling when you go to try on some clothes and realize that we’ve gotten too fat to fit into then. I think “super proud, content and certain that we’re living our best life” is probably the best way to describe that universal feeling that we […]

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Lou Reads ep 179 – The Visit Beyond the Vail of Afterlife Forums

October 30, 2018

What happens to us when we die? What happens to us before we are born? Somehow the people at this forum know, with certainty, that everything is going to be alright. Especially after you die. This is truly amazing considering I can barely figure out what is happening to me right now, this very second! […]

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