I really don’t want to share any images related to this episode.

But God is infallible!

But God is infallible!

Circumcision is a controversial topic. For me it’s a Star-Bellied Sneeches thing. “They have extra skin on thars!” If you didn’t know about foreskin would you miss it? Well, these guys would and they do. On the other hand the reasons for circumcision are really amazingly stupid. Mainly because they are based on religious nonsense and outdated medical knowledge. If God told you to kill someone because they believed in a different religion than you would you? Never mind.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Whatever you do don’t let someone you cut you off mid-podcast.


Game recognize game

Game recognize game

I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find tales of dads trolling. I hope you enjoy listening to these stories shared by the victims of fatherly mind-fuckery as much as I enjoyed reading them.

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Lou Reads Ep 140 – A Looner Minisode

by King Lou on July 25, 2015

Oh shit, yeah! Squash that balloon! Pop that fucker! I'm losing my mind over here!

Oh shit, yeah! Squash that balloon! Pop that fucker! I’m losing my mind over here!

Well, here we are again. Exploring the marvels of human sexuality. Todays topic is balloon fetishists. AKA: Looners. It’s sad to think that our pre-inflatable forefathers never were able to get their rocks off by squashing a balloon with their butts or high heels until pop. Why, what kind of greater nation could have been build if they only knew what they were missing. Well, thanks to these brave true-believers who squash, pop, jump on and general just break balloons we don’t have to worry. I’m sure George Washington is looking down from that slave plantation he owned in the sky to say “Hot damn! I wish I could pop me one of them there b-loons! That looks like a fucking hot ass time!” Or at least that is what I like to think.

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. It was recorded a gift in June 2015 and I share it with you now. Be sure to rate Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! on iTunes, etc. Thanks!

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Hey, nice to see you again. Please take your clothes off and hang them up over there. In the living room you’ll find a group of open & inviting couples who are looking forward to fucking you. So, good luck with all the fucking.

If you need a drink before we get started we have a lot of Ensure in the fridge.

Hey Sexy, if you need a drink before we get started we have a lot of Ensure in the fridge.

This episode of Lou Reads is all about the wonderful world of swinging. Swinging is a mysterious world of polyamory & thrills among consenting adult. If your relationship is strong enough to endure watching your partner be pleased by another person well then good for you. Sadly, this kind of messing around is frowned upon by polite society. I say “sadly” because I really want to bone your wife. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to all of this Swingers nonsense and let me know if your wife is DTF. Oh yeah, my wife is not into this scene so don’t mention this to her…


Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting.

That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you're welcome.

That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you’re welcome.

Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK who frequent prostitutes. It’s a safe place for them to get together to share their experiences with the same prostitutes & call girls that they are all fucking. Of course it is great that there is a place you can go and read up on and rate all the hookers in your area. An informed customer is a happy customer. Especially when it comes to fucking random ladies for money. I hope you enjoy this punt-cast.

Below is a book actually written by the owner of UK Punting! Guess which one it is!


Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that why you’re so dumb? Oh? Well, cool…

There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just kidding. Pick cherry.

There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just king. Pick cherry.

So this episode is all about the great idea of drinking cough syrup to trip. Aka “Robo-Tripping.” I know, it sounds like a great idea. Well, listen for yourself and decide if you’re missing out. And if you do your local pharmacy is just down the street just sitting there chok’ful of liquid tripping just waiting for you! Go on, now… CHUG!


Hey there, are you ready for a fun podcast? You are? Me, too! Okay, lets get started. Wait, before I begin let me take a second to gulp down some air. Why? Oh, because I want to make a series of burps that I will hope you find erotic. What do you mean you don’t find burps erotic. Whats not to like? I mean, it’s air… that has been in your tummy… and then it comes out with a big sexy noise and, with any luck, some hot stomach contents smell. I mean, if you aren’t down with that then I don’t know why we hang out. Oh… you’re leaving… I see…

I defy you to not be aroused by this erotic burping comic.

I defy you to not be aroused by this erotic burping comic.

Well, if this scenario sounds familiar you are probably already a fan of The Burp Fetish Forum. It’s a small community of people with a very particular fetish revolving around the expulsion of air from either mouth or butt. Why? No one seems to be able to really put it into words that I could find. Regardless, they like a nice belch or fart and I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that. Do I care for it? No, sir. I have enough personal issues with gas in my life to worry about someone getting a boner when air escapes my various orafices. The only thing I like coming out of my mouth is the words of the stupid internet.


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Lou Reads from the Forums of I Love Interracial

by King Lou on March 20, 2015

First, let me begin by stating that this episode has given me my new life motto.

Aww Yeah Player. You do you!

Aww Yeah Player. You do you!

“If you’re going to talk about dominating something, you should be dominating pussy and money.”

Honestly, it’s hard to discuss this episode. I mean without just outright talking about African American sex organs and the white women, and apparently men, who are craving to be stretched to the limit by them. Now, we could spend time discussing the fetishes of humiliation, or all the articles about penis size that seem to come out constantly, or the whole cuckold thing versus couples that have open relationships, etc. I mean, while this episode is mainly about what is known in the vernacular as BBC it doesn’t just only talk about that. It explores such topics as “Why white women like to have unprotected sex?” and “Why white men like to fellate BBC?”

This is the only interracial action I felt comfortable posting...

This is the only interracial action I felt comfortable posting…

I know you can’t get enough of this horrible nonsense. Here, buy some awful cuckold erotica!


Lou Reads ep134 – All About Human Puppy Play

February 27, 2015

Here, boy! Here, boy! That’s a good human doggy. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy! Now, feel free to lick my boot. If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world […]

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Lou Reads ep133 – Tales of Crazy Parents

February 9, 2015

You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.” I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I […]

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