Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting.

That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you're welcome.

That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you’re welcome.

Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK who frequent prostitutes. It’s a safe place for them to get together to share their experiences with the same prostitutes & call girls that they are all fucking. Of course it is great that there is a place you can go and read up on and rate all the hookers in your area. An informed customer is a happy customer. Especially when it comes to fucking random ladies for money. I hope you enjoy this punt-cast.

Below is a book actually written by the owner of UK Punting! Guess which one it is!

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Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that why you’re so dumb? Oh? Well, cool…

There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just kidding. Pick cherry.

There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just king. Pick cherry.

So this episode is all about the great idea of drinking cough syrup to trip. Aka “Robo-Tripping.” I know, it sounds like a great idea. Well, listen for yourself and decide if you’re missing out. And if you do your local pharmacy is just down the street just sitting there chok’ful of liquid tripping just waiting for you! Go on, now… CHUG!

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Hey there, are you ready for a fun podcast? You are? Me, too! Okay, lets get started. Wait, before I begin let me take a second to gulp down some air. Why? Oh, because I want to make a series of burps that I will hope you find erotic. What do you mean you don’t find burps erotic. Whats not to like? I mean, it’s air… that has been in your tummy… and then it comes out with a big sexy noise and, with any luck, some hot stomach contents smell. I mean, if you aren’t down with that then I don’t know why we hang out. Oh… you’re leaving… I see…

I defy you to not be aroused by this erotic burping comic.

I defy you to not be aroused by this erotic burping comic.

Well, if this scenario sounds familiar you are probably already a fan of The Burp Fetish Forum. It’s a small community of people with a very particular fetish revolving around the expulsion of air from either mouth or butt. Why? No one seems to be able to really put it into words that I could find. Regardless, they like a nice belch or fart and I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that. Do I care for it? No, sir. I have enough personal issues with gas in my life to worry about someone getting a boner when air escapes my various orafices. The only thing I like coming out of my mouth is the words of the stupid internet.

Enjoy!

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Lou Reads from the Forums of I Love Interracial

by King Lou on March 20, 2015

First, let me begin by stating that this episode has given me my new life motto.

Aww Yeah Player. You do you!

Aww Yeah Player. You do you!


“If you’re going to talk about dominating something, you should be dominating pussy and money.”

Honestly, it’s hard to discuss this episode. I mean without just outright talking about African American sex organs and the white women, and apparently men, who are craving to be stretched to the limit by them. Now, we could spend time discussing the fetishes of humiliation, or all the articles about penis size that seem to come out constantly, or the whole cuckold thing versus couples that have open relationships, etc. I mean, while this episode is mainly about what is known in the vernacular as BBC it doesn’t just only talk about that. It explores such topics as “Why white women like to have unprotected sex?” and “Why white men like to fellate BBC?”

This is the only interracial action I felt comfortable posting...

This is the only interracial action I felt comfortable posting…

I know you can’t get enough of this horrible nonsense. Here, buy some awful cuckold erotica!

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Lou Reads ep134 – All About Human Puppy Play

by King Lou on February 27, 2015

Here, boy! Here, boy! That’s a good human doggy. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy! Now, feel free to lick my boot.

I have nothing to say about this photo. It speaks for itself.

I have nothing to say about this photo. It speaks for itself.

If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world of Human Pups. This is a subculture of mostly gay men who are into the BDSM scene and like to role play as dogs. The type of roleplay is as varied as the types of dogs in the world (This may be an exaggeration.) But, mainly it’s about acting like a dog for a thrill and humiliation (Which is somehow freeing.) Is it something silly and childlike taken to an absurd length? No doubt.

a_dude_in_a_puppy_cage

Yeah. That looks really comfy in there. Congrats on your life choices. 

But how serious is this fetish? Serious enough to have a 10 year history & international contest. Ok, so maybe it’s older than that (I’m sure it is. I’m just not going to look.) Who cares. I just hope you enjoy my reading from the world of human pups. Please just remember one thing: You can’t just feed your human pups actual dog food. It’s not good for them. They need people food. Table scraps are probably ok.

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Lou Reads ep133 – Tales of Crazy Parents

by King Lou on February 9, 2015

You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.”

Some problems take care of themselves...

Some problems take care of themselves…

I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I guess I hope you enjoy it. A lot of the stories in this episode are long and will make you feel bad… Remember the time that you didn’t get a toy you wanted and you were sad and mad at your parents for it? Listen to this episode and give your parents a high five for not completely fucking you up.

Enjoy?

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Hey there, are you interested in peeing in your pants or bed? No? Okay then. How about pooping? Could I talk you into maybe pooping in your pants or diaper. No? How about just wearing the diaper and then if you like it we can negotiate your peeing & pooping in it later? No? Wow… Okay, well then I guess you may not be interested in a forum membership at WET SET.

Oh, for fucks sake. Really? That better be brownie batter or we're breaking up.

Oh, for fucks sake. Really? That better be brownie batter or we’re breaking up.

As you’ll soon hear, if you choose to proceed, this forum is a mix of adult baby behavior focused mainly on the soiling of things. So, no baby talk but plenty of talk about wetting, pooping and other nonsense. I hope you enjoy it. I found it particularly absurd.

Also, not directly related, while I was looking for images for this episode I discovered this horrifying episode of MY STRANGE ADDICTION about a woman who sucks urine soaked baby diapers… I defy you to watch with cringing.

SO.... GROSS....

SO…. GROSS….

Do not have food before watching that… Thanks for listening to LOU READS! Please remember to write review on iTunes!

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Lou Reads ep131 – Talk Paranormal To Me

by King Lou on December 25, 2014

You know how sometimes you buy a piece of jewelry from an antique store and you can just feel that there is an energy trapped inside? Or when you use a Ouija board that you’re pretty sure may be bringing demons over from the other side into you home? Or you know that feeling you get when you’re pretty sure you’re a tantric vampire? Oh right, you don’t get those because you’re a rational person who doesn’t hang out at the Talk Paranormal forums. Actually, Talk Paranormal is an interesting site with a lot of users dumping a healthy amount of skepticism on each other on a regular basis. All the while encouraging people to chat about their interest in the supernatural and other absurdities. I hope you enjoy it. It’s a long one!

If you see a ghost wearing this hat RUN!

If you see a ghost wearing this hat RUN!

Hey there, thanks a ton for listening to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! I truly hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoy recording & laboriously editing each one. So, I say again, thank you from the bottom of my internet weakened heart. Keep listening!

Photo on 12-21-14 at 2.30 PM

IMG_0708

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Lou Reads ep130 – Vore Discussions from Eka’s Portal

December 2, 2014

So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only […]

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Lou Reads ep129 Revisits the Forums of Opiophile.com

November 4, 2014

Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit […]

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