Lou Reads ep134 – All About Human Puppy Play

by King Lou on February 27, 2015

Here, boy! Here, boy! That’s a good human doggy. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy! Now, feel free to lick my boot.

I have nothing to say about this photo. It speaks for itself.

I have nothing to say about this photo. It speaks for itself.

If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world of Human Pups. This is a subculture of mostly gay men who are into the BDSM scene and like to role play as dogs. The type of roleplay is as varied as the types of dogs in the world (This may be an exaggeration.) But, mainly it’s about acting like a dog for a thrill and humiliation (Which is somehow freeing.) Is it something silly and childlike taken to an absurd length? No doubt.

a_dude_in_a_puppy_cage

Yeah. That looks really comfy in there. Congrats on your life choices. 

But how serious is this fetish? Serious enough to have a 10 year history & international contest. Ok, so maybe it’s older than that (I’m sure it is. I’m just not going to look.) Who cares. I just hope you enjoy my reading from the world of human pups. Please just remember one thing: You can’t just feed your human pups actual dog food. It’s not good for them. They need people food. Table scraps are probably ok.

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Lou Reads ep133 – Tales of Crazy Parents

by King Lou on February 9, 2015

You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.”

Some problems take care of themselves...

Some problems take care of themselves…

I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I guess I hope you enjoy it. A lot of the stories in this episode are long and will make you feel bad… Remember the time that you didn’t get a toy you wanted and you were sad and mad at your parents for it? Listen to this episode and give your parents a high five for not completely fucking you up.

Enjoy?

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Hey there, are you interested in peeing in your pants or bed? No? Okay then. How about pooping? Could I talk you into maybe pooping in your pants or diaper. No? How about just wearing the diaper and then if you like it we can negotiate your peeing & pooping in it later? No? Wow… Okay, well then I guess you may not be interested in a forum membership at WET SET.

Oh, for fucks sake. Really? That better be brownie batter or we're breaking up.

Oh, for fucks sake. Really? That better be brownie batter or we’re breaking up.

As you’ll soon hear, if you choose to proceed, this forum is a mix of adult baby behavior focused mainly on the soiling of things. So, no baby talk but plenty of talk about wetting, pooping and other nonsense. I hope you enjoy it. I found it particularly absurd.

Also, not directly related, while I was looking for images for this episode I discovered this horrifying episode of MY STRANGE ADDICTION about a woman who sucks urine soaked baby diapers… I defy you to watch with cringing.

SO.... GROSS....

SO…. GROSS….

Do not have food before watching that… Thanks for listening to LOU READS! Please remember to write review on iTunes!

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Lou Reads ep131 – Talk Paranormal To Me

by King Lou on December 25, 2014

You know how sometimes you buy a piece of jewelry from an antique store and you can just feel that there is an energy trapped inside? Or when you use a Ouija board that you’re pretty sure may be bringing demons over from the other side into you home? Or you know that feeling you get when you’re pretty sure you’re a tantric vampire? Oh right, you don’t get those because you’re a rational person who doesn’t hang out at the Talk Paranormal forums. Actually, Talk Paranormal is an interesting site with a lot of users dumping a healthy amount of skepticism on each other on a regular basis. All the while encouraging people to chat about their interest in the supernatural and other absurdities. I hope you enjoy it. It’s a long one!

If you see a ghost wearing this hat RUN!

If you see a ghost wearing this hat RUN!

Hey there, thanks a ton for listening to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! I truly hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoy recording & laboriously editing each one. So, I say again, thank you from the bottom of my internet weakened heart. Keep listening!

Photo on 12-21-14 at 2.30 PM

IMG_0708

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So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only am I a mind reader but I’m also a vore forum reader. And as you may have guessed, that will be this episode’s subject.

What's that mom? Oh, I'm just talking to my online friends. NO DON'T COME IN!

What’s that mom? Oh, I’m just talking to my online friends. NO DON’T COME IN!

Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…

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Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit of a pickle, sonny. But where do you go to talk to people if you’ve decided that a life of occasional bliss and more than occasional constant craving is the thing for you? Why the forums of Opiophile.com of course.

Opiophile is a safe haven for users, abusers & survivors of the dope game where they can come together and discuss everything from their local drug scene, harm reduction and the day to day issues of being a slave to the poppy in it’s numerous forms. Many forums have sections dedicated to heroin and the like but Opiophile is pretty much the only forum I know dedicated to opiates and once again proved to be a very interesting and informative read. I hope you enjoy it.

Other Heroin related sites you may find interesting.

DequinxyJinxie (RIP) – Heroin Glassine Bag Art & Product Review

That Guy’s on Heroin – Street reports and unflattering photos of people nodding (or worse) in public. Focused mainly on junies in Baltimore but also takes submissions from around the world.

HBO’s documentary – Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street

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I hope you enjoy this lighter fare as once again we delve into Reddit. Won’t you enjoy this selection of tales of people being treated poorly by jerks while they do their jobs.

nuggets

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Lou Reads from the pages of My Little Waifu

by King Lou on September 3, 2014

How do you cope with your day to day struggles? Do you call your mom to vent or maybe see a psychiatrist? Or do instead slowly become convinced you are having a relationship with a fictional character? That is what is happening on the pages of the forum known as My Little Waifu. I won’t even try to explain what I read this time around. It doesn’t make any sense and explaining it requires navigating several different strata of super nerdy nonsense. Just listen… It’s still won’t make any sense but whatever.

Can't we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies?

Can’t we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies?

Terms used in this episode that may require explanation:

1) Waifu
2) Brony
3) Weeabo
4) Clop
5) Ship

And many more…. Please enjoy the podcast & this wonderful selection of Japanese body pillows for you to consider marrying in the future.

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Lou Reads ep126 – Squat the Planet: Advice for the Homeless by the Homeless

July 29, 2014

Hey man, can you spare any change? Spare anything? Even a smile helps. Also a lot of drugs to help me forget I beg for a living and sleep on the streets would help more than a smile. I’m just being honest. So this episode is about the worldful world of gutterpunks, crusties, hobos, bums […]

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Lou Reads ep125 – Porn Fan Chats from Brazzers Forum

July 7, 2014

Look, I love porn. I am a man. I have a sad addiction to watching people who are better at sex than me go at it for unrealistic lengths of time. I love to be reminded of the average to subaverageness of my man parts and that my testicles don’t contain massive amounts of semen […]

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