Hey guys, so I was at the club last night and there was this A.D.D Girl there who I was pretty sure was DTF. So I initiated EC and eventually got #close. I’m feeling pretty good about the possibility to turn this into a FClose by the end of the week.

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If you understood any of that then you’re probably a pick-up artist. Congrats! If not well I hope you’re ready to learn all about this interesting dating system developed at Manwhore.org. Generally, this website is yet another Pick Up Artist (PUA) system with the difference being that it focuses around using texting to get girls to give you a shot. At least thats what I got from it in my brief experience there. Does it work? I have no idea. But in this episode of Lou Reads you’ll hear the trials & triumphs of the users of this Manwhore system. I hope you enjoy it.

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Hey, I know this is weird, but I have a confession to make. Sometimes I go on the internet and write anonymous confessions about super mundane things I do in my life that no one cares about. Like, how I took out the trash today and then thought about how we’re ruining this planet with our trash. What’s that you say? You kind of do the same thing? Oh, that’s cool. Like what kind of stuff do you write about? Oh, you write about how you fucked your sister and are cheating on your wife by giving blow jobs to strangers by the bus load? Huh… well what site are you posting them on? Naughtyposts.com? Well, what do you know. Me, too!

Bad, dog. You've been posting your stupid incest fantasies on the internet again , haven't you...

Bad, dog. You’ve been posting your stupid incest fantasies on the internet again , haven’t you…

Not much to be said about this episode. It’s basically people submitting stories about every kind of supposed naughty thing you can confess about it. Is any of it real? I’ll leave that distinction up to you for mine is not to judge but rather to read.

Thanks for listening to another stupid year of the the Internet being read for YOU! I sincerely appreciate it. See you in 2016!!!

Happy New Year 2015 Animated GIF Images

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Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step back into the store. Would you mind taking off your jacket? Sir, I don’t care if it was a gift from your mother. I’m more concerned with the 10 pairs of FUBU hoodies you’ve concealed in your shirt. Oh, I suppose someone else jammed them in there. Great.

I know what will help me forget my shoplifting conviction. Stealing this bottle of booze!

I know what will help me forget my shoplifting conviction. Stealing this bottle of booze!

There are a lot of sources for information about shoplifting and I’m very proud you chose to come here to learn. Why, by following the advice in this episode of the podcast you should have a nice little crime record. Don’t get me wrong. You’ll also have some stolen clothes. It’s totally worth going to all the trouble to steal all your clothes. Yup. Not being sarcastic. Nope.

SUPPORT LOU READS! REMEMBER TO BUY YOUR HOLIDAY AMAZON PURCHASES THROUGH MY LINK!

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Are you looking to get ripped? Need shed some pounds? Do you need a safe place to talk about why if homosexuality is ok then incest should be okay, too? Well you might benefit from reading the forums at bodybuilding.com. Not only is Bodybuilding.com a great place to learn about your physical wellbeing, it’s a safe haven for some of the dumbest discussions online. To be fair, the vast majority of the discussions are mostly your typical fitness advice, knowledge exchange & general bickering. But some of the thread on the forums are really hilariously silly.

Not only can I lift, I am your #1 source for life advice!

Not only can I lift, I am your #1 source for life advice!

Thanks for listening and please be sure to rate the show wherever shows can be rated!

Hugs & kisses,
Lou

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I really don’t want to share any images related to this episode.

But God is infallible!

But God is infallible!

Circumcision is a controversial topic. For me it’s a Star-Bellied Sneeches thing. “They have extra skin on thars!” If you didn’t know about foreskin would you miss it? Well, these guys would and they do. On the other hand the reasons for circumcision are really amazingly stupid. Mainly because they are based on religious nonsense and outdated medical knowledge. If God told you to kill someone because they believed in a different religion than you would you? Never mind.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Whatever you do don’t let someone you cut you off mid-podcast.

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Game recognize game

Game recognize game

I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find tales of dads trolling. I hope you enjoy listening to these stories shared by the victims of fatherly mind-fuckery as much as I enjoyed reading them.

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Lou Reads Ep 140 – A Looner Minisode

by King Lou on July 25, 2015

Oh shit, yeah! Squash that balloon! Pop that fucker! I'm losing my mind over here!

Oh shit, yeah! Squash that balloon! Pop that fucker! I’m losing my mind over here!

Well, here we are again. Exploring the marvels of human sexuality. Todays topic is balloon fetishists. AKA: Looners. It’s sad to think that our pre-inflatable forefathers never were able to get their rocks off by squashing a balloon with their butts or high heels until pop. Why, what kind of greater nation could have been build if they only knew what they were missing. Well, thanks to these brave true-believers who squash, pop, jump on and general just break balloons we don’t have to worry. I’m sure George Washington is looking down from that slave plantation he owned in the sky to say “Hot damn! I wish I could pop me one of them there b-loons! That looks like a fucking hot ass time!” Or at least that is what I like to think.

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. It was recorded a gift in June 2015 and I share it with you now. Be sure to rate Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! on iTunes, etc. Thanks!

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Hey, nice to see you again. Please take your clothes off and hang them up over there. In the living room you’ll find a group of open & inviting couples who are looking forward to fucking you. So, good luck with all the fucking.

If you need a drink before we get started we have a lot of Ensure in the fridge.

Hey Sexy, if you need a drink before we get started we have a lot of Ensure in the fridge.

This episode of Lou Reads is all about the wonderful world of swinging. Swinging is a mysterious world of polyamory & thrills among consenting adult. If your relationship is strong enough to endure watching your partner be pleased by another person well then good for you. Sadly, this kind of messing around is frowned upon by polite society. I say “sadly” because I really want to bone your wife. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to all of this Swingers nonsense and let me know if your wife is DTF. Oh yeah, my wife is not into this scene so don’t mention this to her…

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Lou Reads ep138 – Prostitute Reviews & More from the forum at UK Punting

June 10, 2015

Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting. Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK […]

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Lou Reads Ep137 – The Amazing World of Robo-Tripping. DXM not DMX.

May 21, 2015

Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that […]

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