Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

by King Lou on March 19, 2019

Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that was it was when it first appeared in 1995. Over the years someone, I don’t know who, has been selecting certain posts to be classified as BEST OF CRAIGSLIST.  So you can imagine that after 24 years there have been a lot of qualifying posts!

This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.

Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!

Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!

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Greetings, friends and those interested in the more obscure parts of the internet. This months episode is a visit to the fabulously spam-destroyed pages of Artpit-Fetish.com. This site was once the home of a small number of folks that really liked armpits more than most people (if people think about armpits at all.) Now, sadly, the forums are almost 99% spambots with the occasional lonely armpit lover trying to call out in the void…

According to some guy in this episode, the following video sparked a life long obsession about masturbating to men’s armpits. See if you can spot any particularly erotic pits! Specifically, Kenny Chesney’s wild underarm action is what drove the gentleman in question wild. Please, try to control your own feverish self-pleasure urges when watching it!

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Are you feeling the protrusion yet? Please enjoy this episode about milking your prostate. If you don’t know how to milk your prostate by the end of this episode then you just aren’t trying very hard…

I miss Prince, too…


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Lou Reads ep 181 – The Spicy Talk Forums

by King Lou on January 17, 2019

As a married man who hates breasts I could not get down with this forum. I mean, who likes breasts? Especially breasts full of milk that are being shared with lots of grown dudes and ladies looking for some kind of Adult Nursing Relationship? Oh right, the people who used to hang out at Spicy Talk Forums!

Good night, sweet cowboy…

Ok, I was lying. I don’t really hate breasts. Please don’t send me hate mail and pictures of your breasts to let me know how angry you all are at me. Reading this forum was fairly funny because of how almost every thread somehow got around to talking about adult breastfeeding… In the end I decided to just double down on all the ANR talk and accept the concept that there are a lot of people out there who think about drinking mothers milk ALL THE TIME… I hope you enjoy it!

I am planning a small bit of bonus content in a week. Keep your ears posted!

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I think we can all agree that everyone loves that feeling when you go to try on some clothes and realize that we’ve gotten too fat to fit into then. I think “super proud, content and certain that we’re living our best life” is probably the best way to describe that universal feeling that we all get when all that cramming of massive amounts of high calorie food pays off. Just like society teaches us. Gain weight. Gain status.

All that pizza ain’t gonna cram itself down your throat repeatedly until you expand your guts to handle a ton of extra food by itself, dude!

This forum for Lovers of Big Guts is still live on the internet but sadly the community of fat tummy loving guys who used to hang out there appear to have moved on. For now, we can still visit the forums to explore this record of their obsession with and enjoyment of overeating and gaining weight. This isn’t unlike the forums of Fantasy Feeder – A Forum For Fat Ladies and The Guys Who Feed Them. However, where that community focuses on the codependent relationship of feeder and eater, Big Guts focuses mainly on men and their own personal obsession with being overweight. I didn’t actually join this forum so I wasn’t able to see picture in that part of the forum. The avatars I saw in the thread featured a fair amount of naked or near-naked guys with big bellies. I guess what better way to really show off your whole belly? Wherever these men have moved on to you can be certain that most of them are still out there eating too much and rubbing their full bellies with a smile. Also, they probably all have diabetes, but hey…

And remember, sometimes that beer belly you’re so proud of just might be a giant 77 pound tumor.

HOLY SHIT!


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What happens to us when we die? What happens to us before we are born? Somehow the people at this forum know, with certainty, that everything is going to be alright. Especially after you die. This is truly amazing considering I can barely figure out what is happening to me right now, this very second!

Why the fuck the stairs gotta be so long?! It’s like that episode of DBZ! “Run in the Afterlife, Goku! The One Million Mile Snake Way!!” Give me a break, I’m dead!

I am fairly certain that at some point during this episode you will say out loud, “What? Wait… what?” That’s because there is more than a little complete nonsense being discussed here. Yes, I am a doubter. This much is clear! I’m also concerned with so many of the people on this site considering suicide in order to get to this next level of experience! If you’re considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Don’t kill yourself because you read on an online forum that the next life is SOOO MUCH BETTER! Amazingly irresponsible… Oh, also the whole “I remember as a baby I was thinking….” thing is so much insane bullshit… I can’t even… A BABY!… sigh…

As promised, here is your unassailable proof of the existence of the life after death. A lawyer who wrote a whole bunch of nonsense about the afterlife!


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Hey, I know that drug laws are lame and whatever, but what if I told you that you could get super high… legally! What if I told you that there was this drug that was pretty much like marijuana but was totally legal. What if I told you that you’ll have no idea what the Hell you’re smoking because the chemicals keep changing to stay ahead of the drug laws. And what if I told you that it used to be a relatively well known synthetic cannabinoid 10 years ago but was now a complete crap shoot of junk being made in clandestine Chinese laboratories! What if I told you that no matter how you warn people they will keep smoking this quasi-legal weed because it’s really easy to buy despite the fact that it can totally make you lose your shit! Alright, then! Well, take a hit of this super sweet incense blend, homie! Let’s start puking!

In this episode I’ll be reading from the Erowid experience vaults. These are anecdotal stories of drug use connected to Erowid’s super informational database about almost every drug. If you’re ever considering doing an illicit or even prescribed drug consider going to Erowid and checking out what it has to say about the compound before you try it. Especially if the drug has a potential for abuse! You’ll be glad you did!

Also, please encourage the legalization of marijuana globally because it should be easier to buy than this Spice garbage… If you are actually thinking about buying K2/Spice/Whatever other name this crap goes by please watch these videos. This drug can only be enjoyed in small amounts but should probably be avoided at all costs. I mean, unless you like screaming in the street, naked. Then go ahead.

Also, if you enjoy drug trips and safe access to a wealth of drug info, consider supporting EROWID!


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Hey, I know we just has sex and that I paid you for that sex because you’re an escort. But, I really feel that in this 10 minute encounter that we’ve bonded and I’d really like to see you again. And, also have sex with you again for money. But, maybe you’ll kind of be into me next time a little and give me a discount and eventually you’ll see that, although we met via an exchange of sex for cash, that I’m a super nice guy! And maybe you’ll want to date me and have sex with me for free because we’ll be dating! Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Oh, but don’t tell my wife…

I’m different than all the other guys you’re fucking. I’m a nice guy!

The world of escorting appears to be less awful from the world of street sex workers. However, every sex worker who trades sex for cash has to have a first time that they did it. That’s what is happening this episode of Lou Reads. I hope you enjoy hearing these stories!


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Lou Reads ep176 – Dark Secrets Shared from Reddit

July 25, 2018

What’s that now? You want me to share some of my darkest secrets with the internet? Well, gee… I mean, I’ve seen and done some terrible things in my life but I’m not sure I want to post them on THE INTERNET… Oh, you think I should make a throwaway account in order to freely […]

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Lou Reads ep175: The parasite infested forums of The Cure Zone

June 24, 2018

You know that feeling you get when the world is telling you that you should take anti-psychotic medicine to deal with the invisible parasites you’re being plagued by? And you know the feeling you get when you tell the doctors you don’t want to take the medicine because it will just make the parasites sleepy […]

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