Lou Reads Movie Reviews of His Local United Artists Movie Theater

Have we no decency?

OMG! Then what happened? Oh, yeah, I’m totes at the movie but its hella lame, Ya’ll. I don’t know… Shindler something.

No, not at my local movie theater, anyway. I go to this big theater in NYC and its a horrorshow. Imagine how delighted I was to find a large repository of pretty funny and, quite honestly, pretty racist comments about the place on Yelp. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to me read the angry rantings of the patrons of the Court Street 12. Somehow that place is still always packed! Sigh…


Lou Reads Endless Election Nonsense from Tea Party Nation

Ok, so this episode has me sorry on several fronts. First off I’m sorry that it took me so lont to come out with it. As I mentioned on the Facebook page I had some family related health news that has took the wind out of my sails. More about that in the podcast. Secondly I’m sorry because this episode is really one-note-y. I decided to revisit the Tea Party Nation because last time it was a nice assortment of mixed wingnuts. Lots of different stuff to read about. By the time I was 20 minutes into recording I realized that there was almost no variety in the topics. In an election year everyone on that site has one common mission. Defeat Bolak Blaramo.

Tea Party in a Nut Shell
Oh believe me, they will!
Or at least something like that. Its been a while since I dipped myself into this side of the political pool. I always find it fascinating and yet horrifying all at the same time. I don’t want to spoil it too much but suffice it to say… these people are very scared and very angry about the world and there is only one thing that will make them happy… Actually I have no idea what would make them happy. Probably nothing short of a magic bomb that makes everything back the way it was in the 1950’s… Good luck with that!
It would help if the GOP weren’t complete obstructionists, too but you do what you can.



Lou Reads about Men Who Love Dolls and the Dolls that Lay There.

Hello and welcome back to Lou Reads. I assure you that I have missed you almost as much as you’ve missed me. So this weeks episode is pretty self-explanatory. There is a subculture of men & women who enjoy the company of dolls. I won’t pretend to know the psychology behind it. Some people like to play with dolls, some like to not feel alone and some people just want to fuck something that isn’t their hand and feel this is somehow better.

This doll has the same look on its face as anyone might have if they found it in your home. Or maybe it knows what you have in mind for tonight! Yuck!

A lot of people have asked me to read from The Doll Forum and I put it off for a while but I felt I’d finally give it a shot. There really is a massive wealth of readable material. I hope you enjoy what I found. It was fun to read.

If it was possible to be judged by dolls, these dolls would be judging you.

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Let me know how I’m doing with a comment in iTunes, Facebook or with the comment form below. Thanks!

Lou Reads from the forums of EnemaPlease.com

Ohhh… that old familiar feeling. You know the one. The feeling you get when you fill up your colon with several gallons of soapy liquid and then you dance around to make sure the water is loosening all your stool. Right! I knew we were talking about the same thing.

Nurse Giving Enema
This Hotel Offers Very Odd Services... Some Wake-Up Call!

Now, I’m sure most of you out there are already giving yourself enemas on a daily basis so this will seem boring to you. However, for the uninitiated few I’m sure this will be an eye-opening adventure down a path less travelled. Join me, please, as I guide you through the delights of Enemaplease.com

BONUS: Here is the video I made in college about a guy killing people in a hospital. WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS REALLY DUMB!


Yes that is me with the cycling cap. The early 90’s were horrible.


A Disturbing New Trend? Magnet Cats?

I’m not sure if we’re seeing the beginning of a trend here but in the last week we’ve seen 3 photos of Lou Reads magnets on cats. I’m in no way suggesting you test your cats iron content by placing one my powerful magnets on another living creature. However I think you’ll find these pictures are pretty cute.

The first two are from a great story entitled I <3 Lou Reads the Internet or The Great Magnet Adventure. Check out the amazing trip that magnet went on!

The last magnet belongs to a fan whose boyfriend bought a person birthday reading for her and got a magnet bonus, too! Keep those magnet pictures coming!

Lou Reads from Forums of Opiophile.org

Okay, last episode was a tease. It should have been about drugs and it was all about people being crazy. This episode, I make it up to you with a reading from Opiophile.org. As you can probably guess, Opiophile is a website for people who love Opiates. And why wouldn’t they? Everyone says heroin is great and then they say they are coping with their use and then they disappear for a while and then they come back from rehab. It’s great!

A Man Smoking Heroin Off of Foil
Screw your hippy drugs. I'm doing the Hard Stuff!

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads. Please try not to OD while listening to it. I’d hate to come home and find you like this unfortunate girl. THANKS!




Lou Reads tales of the Worst Thing You’ve Ever Done from Bluelight.ru

Howdy folks. I meant to come to Bluelight.ru to read trip reports but I got distracted by this gem of a confessional thread entitled The Worst Thing You Have Ever Done. I was so taken with its stories that I had to share.

I’m In the Mile High-High Double High Club!

Now, you may find it odd that some people considered these events to be the worst things they have ever done. Especially considering that this is posted in a drug use forum. I mean, someone of them are just kids being kids. On the other hand some of these stories are fucked up! Such is the internet. People just gotta share and for that I thank them. Bless your stereotypically described Cheetos-stained fingers.

UNRELATED BONUS AUDIO.
A friend-of-a-fan commissioned this reading for said fan’s birthday. It was a fun little read and I thought I’d share it with you, too. Of course I waited until the birthday was over. Didn’t want to ruin the surprise after all!

 

 

 

Lou Reads Live – MP3 Version

Hey guys. As you’ll hear on this episode of Lou Reads I had a series of unfortunate events last night & this morning. Lost over an hour of recording & then spilled coffee on all my computer stuff. To hold you over I hope you’ll enjoy this mp3 of the live show I just did. I’ll get right back to recording some stuff as soon as I can! Right now I need a new keyboard. I’m hoping that my mic & MBox Mini2 aren’t coffee soaked junk now. I couldn’t even log in because half the letters in my password weren’t working on the keyboard anymore. *frowny face emoticon*

In happier news the podcast as a new sponsor. SMOKEWIRE.COM is a online headshop that is offering listeners of the podcast 15% Off anything in the store thru June 20th, 2012. Just Use the code poca420 when you check out. It’s almost 420! If you don’t have a nice smoking piece then perhaps now is the time to get one!

Also a reminder that Adam & Eve are still offering Lou Reads listeners 50% Off the most expensive item in their cart when they check out using the code:LOUREADS. Its the same great offer. Three free adult DVDs, a Free Gift & Free Shipping plus that heavy discount on almost everything in the store!

Support Lou Reads and get yourself a nice bong & dildo combo in one fell swoop! Let me tell you, my mom is so proud of that sentence…

Have a great rest of your day, folks!


USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

Lou Reads Live – VIDEO!

Here its! For 4 whole days you wondered if you would live long enough to see this come to pass. I apologize if you actually died while waiting. However, if you did, in fact, live long enough then please enjoy this video of the 2nd “Lou Reads: Live” show. I had a great turn out. My guest readers, Dyna Moe & Nate Starkey, really helped me out with some great readings.

If you’re wondering… I gave the shirts in the video away at the show.


USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

Lou Reads Live #2 Happens Tonight! April 5th @ 7pm

I really hope you didn’t read that like I’m going to poop on stage tonight… I promise thats not going to happen… Really…

Come on down!

If you’re in New York please come on down to the Peoples Improv Theater 123 E24th Street Downstairs Theater. I’ll be reading some old favorite internet finds as well as new horrible stuff! I’ll also be showing a video and reading some really stupid stuff with guest readers Dyna Moe & Nate Starkey! On top of that I’ll be giving away posters and other podcast related materials!

Plus I’ll be celebrating my birthday after the show upstairs @ the theater bar! How can you pass it up!?

New episode will be up after the live show video pops up. So watch the blog or the Facebook Page for updates!


USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!