Lou Reads from the Forums of Survivalist Boards – MY GUNS! MY RIGHTS! OY VEY!

Look, we can’t talk here. Obviously, things have been set in motion. The recent events, Sandy Hook, Bengazi, Time Warner Triple-Play, Twinkies, the Super Bowl halftime show and others too obvious to keep listing have set in motion the end of society. So if you’re not a sheeple you need to get your ass to the forums at Survivalist Boards and start getting your Bug Out Location squared away. You know when the SHTF all the unprepared societal leeches in your circle of doomed friends are going to come banging at your door to save them from themselves or from the government. The government they voted for! HA!

Also the work camps & the nuclear wars & the liberal black jews & food scares & peak oil... so many things!!!
Also the work camps & the nuclear wars & the liberal black jews & food scares & peak oil… so many things to be afraid of!!!

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! It was hard to pick what to read from here because it was so full of interesting takes on the world. I hope for our sake these guys are really, really completely wrong about the world. Still, part of me hopes they’re right just because they are obviously really, really hoping things fall apart. I’m sure it would feel great to be SO right about things… once.

Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail

Ok, this dog may be too young to consent…

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…)

As promised here is a link to the original blog post.

Lou Reads Endless Election Nonsense from Tea Party Nation

Ok, so this episode has me sorry on several fronts. First off I’m sorry that it took me so lont to come out with it. As I mentioned on the Facebook page I had some family related health news that has took the wind out of my sails. More about that in the podcast. Secondly I’m sorry because this episode is really one-note-y. I decided to revisit the Tea Party Nation because last time it was a nice assortment of mixed wingnuts. Lots of different stuff to read about. By the time I was 20 minutes into recording I realized that there was almost no variety in the topics. In an election year everyone on that site has one common mission. Defeat Bolak Blaramo.

Tea Party in a Nut Shell
Oh believe me, they will!
Or at least something like that. Its been a while since I dipped myself into this side of the political pool. I always find it fascinating and yet horrifying all at the same time. I don’t want to spoil it too much but suffice it to say… these people are very scared and very angry about the world and there is only one thing that will make them happy… Actually I have no idea what would make them happy. Probably nothing short of a magic bomb that makes everything back the way it was in the 1950’s… Good luck with that!
It would help if the GOP weren’t complete obstructionists, too but you do what you can.

Lou Reads the Discussions at Tea Party Nation

Oh Brother… Where to begin… My understanding of the “Tea Party” is that it was started to express outrage at Government spending and taxation deemed out of control. Why this only popped up once Obama was in office and not during the Bush years when the spending was out of control is beyond me. Please don’t suggest its because he’s black. THAT WOULD BE CRAZY!

Yes, I hate American so much I want to be in charge of its demise!

Anyway, so there are a lot of these forums out in sigh-berspace but I chose this one for no particular reason. Its full of the usual nonsense that you find on the White Power sites. Especially sad is their constant pining for the “good old days” which are invariably the 1950’s & 60’s. Equally sad is the seemingly endless amount this junk is driven by religious dogma and just the same flailing to hold onto a bygone way of life. All this culminates in the most delicious nonsensical rage possible.

Here's the "Real" Truth: You Need A Therapist.

Enough dissecting this nonsense. Won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads the Forums of Tea Party Nation

Bonus material: I had to join this horrible Tea Party site for the next episode of my podcast. This lady sent me a video with the following message:

I’m new to TPN so I thought I would start trying to get to know like-minded folks on here. A friend of mine, who’s a comedienne, and I are “underground” Conservatives in Hollywood…that can be a real treat as I’m sure you can imagine! Nice to e-meet you! If you’re on Facebook as well, check out The Right View Undercover and if you’d like to have a laugh, here’s our video we shot at a Union march/rally downtown LA!


I defy you to have a laugh at anything in this video… All the classic reasons why Conservative humor falls flat.

Lou Reads: The Avatar Forum

Kaltxi Ayeylanur oeyä! Let me tell you, it was harder than mounting my first Ikran to get through this episodes forum. At least with the Ikran you know its either going to work or you’re going to die. With the Avatar Forum I often wished I would die and yet did not. Both feats took amazing force of will so, you know… I got that going for me. Plus I got me a Ikran bird-dragon to ride… which is nice.

Who doesn't want to have sex with this? LIAR!

Seriously though, when is the last time a movie was so amazing that it made people so crazy they were depressed they couldn’t live on the fake planet in it. It wasn’t Planet 51, I can assure you. Anyway, these people love Avatar. They love it hard and long. If they spent 1/4 of that energy working on the planet they live on instead of wishing they were blue or having sex with a blue person (I get kinda depressed sometimes. Does that count for blue?) … well you get the idea.

This gives me a Space Boner!

You probably didn’t read this far… sigh. But if you did… THANKS! Without further ado won’t you please enjoy THE AVATAR FORUM

Lou Reads: Excerpts from the Our GOP forums

Oh my gorb! Obamer is going to do something crazy to the werld! His supreme court nomination wants to perform abortions in your living room with a bald eagle beak! Obama wants to change the nation currency to condom, just like Euro-town! Nancy Pelosi is 400 year old alien that needs stemcells to live! Obama and the Democ-rats are are considering making everyone take a shit at the same time. FIGHT THE SOCIALIST NATIONAL POOP CLOCK!

Separated at Birth
Separated at Birth

Alright, I may be exaggerating what you’re about to hear a little. The GOP forum is pretty boring but is there is also the special kind of crazy there that gives me the jibblies! While there is a WHOLE LOT of heart felt totally crackers nut jobs on this forum there are most certainly a fair number of rational voices in the weeds. Too bad they’re out numbered by the nuts. You can tell a nut by the number of youtube links and obscure articles they post to prove their point. Asking someone to watch 5 links that you feel prove your point is kind of unreasonable IMHO. And as we are now well aware, my HO is pretty much always the right O. Not so humble an O after all, I suppose. Anyway, on to the stupidity. In the name of fairness, if you you can find me an equally unhinged Democrat forum I’ll be happy to betray my loyalty in the name of some chuckles.

Won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads: The Our GOP Forum.