Apologies – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads ep149. The Horrible Racism of ShitSkin.com

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Look, we’re all a little racist, right? We all dabble in little stereotypes we think are based in reality. You know, like all Puerto Ricans are carrying at least 2 knives at all times or black people don’t tip or that filipino people’s livers can be used to cure AIDS. I’m sure we’ve all said that last one. But, I’m sure we can all agree that really, all we want to do is complain about African Americans. Like, all the time. It’s nice to know that there is a place you can go on the internet to hang out with like minded people and just pour all your super bad feelings about African Americans in a terrible echo chamber for like-minded bigots. That place is of course Shit Skin Plantation.

I'm not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked. — I’m not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked.

Shit Skin is a new home for the people who used to post openly super racist things at the now defunct Chimp Out website. While not as busy a site as Chimp Out, Shit Skin is still full of virulent uber racism. FUN! I won’t lie, reading from this website was unpleasant and although I have a few similar sites in my spreadsheet I will probably take a break from reading anything so over the top as far as using the N-Word is concerned!

Enjoy!

Lou Reads Live – MP3 Version

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Hey guys. As you’ll hear on this episode of Lou Reads I had a series of unfortunate events last night & this morning. Lost over an hour of recording & then spilled coffee on all my computer stuff. To hold you over I hope you’ll enjoy this mp3 of the live show I just did. I’ll get right back to recording some stuff as soon as I can! Right now I need a new keyboard. I’m hoping that my mic & MBox Mini2 aren’t coffee soaked junk now. I couldn’t even log in because half the letters in my password weren’t working on the keyboard anymore. *frowny face emoticon*

In happier news the podcast as a new sponsor. SMOKEWIRE.COM is a online headshop that is offering listeners of the podcast 15% Off anything in the store thru June 20th, 2012. Just Use the code poca420 when you check out. It’s almost 420! If you don’t have a nice smoking piece then perhaps now is the time to get one!

Also a reminder that Adam & Eve are still offering Lou Reads listeners 50% Off the most expensive item in their cart when they check out using the code:LOUREADS. Its the same great offer. Three free adult DVDs, a Free Gift & Free Shipping plus that heavy discount on almost everything in the store!

Support Lou Reads and get yourself a nice bong & dildo combo in one fell swoop! Let me tell you, my mom is so proud of that sentence…

Have a great rest of your day, folks!

USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

LOU READS 3rd ANNUAL HOLIDAY OFFER IS BACK!

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Hey there guys. It’s that time again. If you’re looking for a stupid gift for someone (including your stupid self) do I have an offer for you! Once again I am offering to read something for you, yes YOU, for the low sum of $5 in paypal monies. Need a new voicemail for your smartphone? I can make it! Need a new recording on your outgoing answering machine? Tell me the number and how to make a remote recording (yes, you can do that. Find the manual!) and I’ll do it! Just want a sound file of me saying you’re a pretty fucking amazing person you can play for your co-workers when you feel like pissing them off? No problem. Just drop me an email at loureads AT THE GMAIL!

Here are some examples of recordings I’ve made in the past. Please note: I’ve gotten a lot better at audio production so the audio will sound better than these.

Upload MP3s using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck.

One Week Left until the Live Show!

Sorry for the delay in podcasting the dumbness. I’ve been socked with a ton of distractions. I’d had a bunch of paying Voice Over work, School is back in session and I’ve been losing sleep on the Live Show!

working-like-crazy — Insomnia? Yeah, gimme a double dose!

Just checked the Advance Ticket sales for the show. 5 brave people have pre-bought their $5 tickets to this life changing event! I assuming the rest of your are just going to roll the dice and push through the throng. I predict a bloodbath.

As an extra enticement the next episode of Lou Reads will be recorded based on a poll decided by the audience of the live show! Come cast your vote to make me read something truly amazing/awful/racist or something… mysterious!

Also I will probably be giving out posters and perhaps even hand-made adult magnets! Depends on how cool I think you are… I’m a pretty tough judge on coolness. Tough but fair.

Alright new episode coming soon. I promise!!!

Lou Reads from the forums of CumOnFood.net

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Welcome! Welcome to the forum that made me feel like puking every step of the way. That’s right! You heard it here first! As you’ll soon hear I thought I might have met my match here in the bowels of the CumOnFood.net forums. That’s right. A forum… about people… who want to cum on food and eat it or have other people eat it…

cum_on_food2 — THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS… PERMISSION TO VOMIT GRANTED

I won’t belabor the point. This episode is gross! I hope you find the strength to make it to the end and I apologize in advance if it makes you vomit. This episode is so that I recommend not eating while listening.

As promised, here is the extra gross Extra Content!
First, the photo that made me cry for my brain…

Cream Jar_02 — A Giant Jar Full of Jizz…. BLECH!!!!

And second, the extra readings from the forum… Enjoy… if that’s the right word for what is happening here… I am no longer sure…

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Here’s an old podcast in Video Form!

~~So it looks like my rss feed didn’t get hacked by perhaps Feedburner did? regardless I’m going to drop Feedburner for now.~~ If you need to re-subscribe please use the RSS feed buttons on the upper right.

UPDATE: My site was hacked. According to http://sitecheck.sucuri.net/

Malware entry: MW:DEFACED:01

Description:
Site got defaced (hacked with the web page modified).
Generally done for fun, political reasons and by script kiddies.

Affecting: Any web site (no specific target).

More later…

To make up for it please enjoy this video I made of an early Lou Reads episode. I posted this on the Facebook page and the twitter but I realized that some people refuse to use social media. Don’t you want to know what I’m eating for lunch? You’re so weird! Anyway, have a look at this. It’s funny.

Sorry Everyone. My RSS Got Hacked Again

So, I don’t know what the fuck is up but some asshole hijacked my rss feed somehow. It’s not in my .htaccess file or anywhere I can figure it out. I would really like to have people who do this kind of shit murdered. Such a day-killer to deal with this kind of shit. Amazing. I’m trying to sort it out now.

BLAMMM!!! TWO MORE SHOTS TO THE DOME!

I know! You we’re just asking “Whats up with Lou? Has he recorded any more Voice Overs that aren’t about the horrors of the internet?” Well, how nice of you to ask! I just got my hands on two of the latest commercials I’ve worked on. So if you’re bored check these out!

This was for the New York Times! The Old Grey Lady just got Read By Lou!

Now back to recording the horrors. New podcast coming out soon!

Hey, I’m Busy!

Hey Podcast Pals!

Sorry for another slight delay in the semi-irregular schedule of Lou Reads podcasts. The end of October was pretty crazy for me! As you can see I traveled to the Rally to Restore Sanity. On the way down my friend and
I consumed a can of Four Loko to see what all the hubbub was about.

Suffering Through A Can of Four Loko — It tastes like garbage juice mixed with gasoline and it will get you disturbingly drunk very quickly!

After that we went to the rally it was a lot of fun

lou-rally-for-sanity — Holy People! So Many People!!!

Then I had to hurry home from DC and get my kids costumes all ready for Halloween… No Four Loko was consumed.

Add on top of that whole mess of stuff to do that I just booked a voice over job doing a national commercial for Cuisinart and man… I am busy! I’ve got a couple of days off so I am going to try and punch a podcast out for you lovely lovers of Lou (Reads) and post it as soon as I can.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: VOTE IN FAVOR OF STUFF I CARE ABOUT TOMORROW! Don’t be an apathetic loser. Throw your vote in the vote hole. Do it. TTYL!