Hi! Belated happy new year. As we get into February I wanted to post an update about what I’ve been up to regarding Lou Reads. I have slowly, but surely, working on moving all the original episodes to YouTube. I had been working with a plug-in for Final Cut Pro X but the last update broke it. After waiting for several months for the plug-in maker to update the thing I finally caved and got a legit subscription to Creative Cloud. So, One again I’ll be posting old episodes of Lou Reads to YouTube for archival purposes. https://youtu.be/Yg7UlF3KHlo
In other news, I was on a fairly recent episode of The F Plus. If you’d like to hear me reading about SPLOSHING (smearing food all over yourself for sexual pleasure) then please check it out over here! https://thefpl.us/episode/364
Professionally I haven’t been doing many recordings during the pandemic. Although, I did do another VO for the VR game INTO THE RADIUS.
I have also written for the Apex Legends esports broadcasts.
And finally, I’m still streaming on Twitch and posting the highlights on Tiktok. This remains my current, most consistent creative output. Stop by Twitch.tv/loureads if you’re interested in chatting or watching me play fake baseball! It is fun.
Hello, everyone. If you haven’t been following on Facebook or other social media you might not be up on my latest adventures so I thought I’d take a second to update here. It has been 6 months since I recorded an episode of Lou Reads and despite a lot of encouragement from friends, fans and family, I just haven’t had any desire to record again. I have, however, participated in several episodes of The F Plus since then and encourage everyone to check out these episodes. They’ve been a lot of fun to record and I think it shows.
Here are links to the most recent episodes I’ve taken a part in.
Finally, I have been posting old Episodes of Lou Reads on YouTube in video form. Currently scheduled to come out once a week through August. So, if you’d like to relive the podcast in video form, please check it out!
Thanks again to everyone who has written and checked up on me over my long unemployment and throughout the pandemic. I hope everyone out there is doing well and coming out this global nightmare in good shape. And finally, I’ll leave you with this thought: GET THE VACCINE. IF YOU HAVEN’T. GET IT. IF YOU ARE DENIER THEN PLEASE SEEK HELP FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS! GET THE VACCINE! IT MAY HELP YOU WITH YOUR MORGELLONS!
Hey, you know that kid from History class that never talks? His parents are out of town this weekend and he’s having a party! We should totally go and be thankful for the opportunity to party, get wasted, and then just lose our shit and ruin all his stuff to teach him a lesson. Sounds good? That’ll teach him to offer us a chance to be free!
In this random return to the podcast, I found a fun little thread on Reddit. Nothing too salacious and some funny stories in this one. Thanks for continuing to listen! If you want to hang out while I play video games please consider following me on Twitch. I hope to record a new episode soon. Thanks for listening!
Oh, hello. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? As you may have read on the Lou Reads Facebook page I haven’t felt very inspired to record anything for a while. I started and stopped several episodes on drugs and one about some kind of porn-related thing but it all felt kind of done. Well, I finally found something that made me want to read out loud again. And that something was the blog known as BiblicalGenderRoles.com. Now, this is a blog dedicated to the idea of men & women’s roles in marriage, and in life, are better if you live in accordance with the rules set forth in The Bible.
As you’ll soon hear, this website has a fairly unmodern approach to relationships and that’s the point. Apparently the last 50 years or so have really dinged the whole “Men are leaders of the family” paradigm thingy. Especially because the Devil has encouraged people to live by the creed, “Don’t do stuff if you don’t wanna.” So, let’s say you don’t want your husband to spank you when you’ve been disobedient. Your rejection of his desire to give you a good butt whuppin’ is really the Devil encouraging you to reject your husband’s Biblically mandated right to exercise his dominion over you. See, when you say it like that it just makes sense. I hope you enjoy this long-overdue episode!
Here are some supplemental books to get you headed down the right path. I’m sure they’re all super great or dumb. One of the two.
According to Medical News Today, “As much as 45 percent of men believe they have a small penis.” Certainly, there are a lot of factors to this low self-opinion. While I’m not going to offer a solid argument on all the reasons I think it’s safe to say that pornography featuring an over-indexing of massive dongs and general societal theories about big dicks’ connections to virility and manliness play a big part. Unfortunately, insulting the size of man’s penis is very common, can be seriously injurious and it’s one of the things in life that men can literally do nothing about outside of surgery and weird stretching rituals I’ve read about before.
So, this month’s episode of Lou Reads revisits the world of men with penises that are smaller than the average. When we last ventured to this topic it was back in the first year of Lou Reads in an unfortunately titled episode, My Tiny Dick Forum of Horrors. Now, Measurection is a forum for men who consider themselves to have below-average length penises to come and share in a community of similarly endowed guys. The forum has been around for over a decade and was even a focus of a Weekend Web posting before I got involved in WW. As always, I have selected a bunch of random threads of interest to read from without comment. I hope you enjoy it. And as the owner of My Tiny Dick wrote in a comment on the episode about their site “You‘d be surprised at how small a penis can be before women really consider it small.”
I don’t remember a lot from High School but what I do recall is mainly the dumb shit my friends and fellow classmates got into. Most of my stories from High School revolve around drinking too much and doing graffiti (separately). A kid did bring a gun to school but he was just showing off, not trying to kill everyone for some teen angsty reason. IIRC he was kicked out of the school at a later date for something minor that appeared to be the final straw/excuse the principle was looking for to get the guy out. This episode of Lou Reads I went to AskReddit and read a bunch of stories of people’s most NSFW memories from High School. I hope you enjoy it!
Have you ever had this conversation? “Look, it’s my first time going to get a “massage” and I’m not sure how to make sure my “massage” ends in a “happy ending.” I mean, if it just ends in just getting my body relaxed with a real “massage” I guess that would be okay, too… but I’m really hoping to, you know… get a certain muscle worked on… you know? Oh, you don’t? Look, mom, I need to go…” Well, if you have then you should be checking out RUB MAPS instead of asking your mom for Asian Massage Parlour advice. RUB MAPS is a consumer review site for illicit massages with an entire, active forum for its users. Unfortunately you have to pay to see the reviews. Luckily you can see the forums for free and it’s a great source for all your “going to have sex with a masseuse” questions.
This time around I didn’t actually read any of the site reviews but I may do so if I ever revisit. I hope this doesn’t give you blue balls… Also, if you get confused by any of the slang in this episode please consult this amazing massage parlour slang guide. You’re gonna need it!
It wasn’t so long ago that DVD’s were the awesome collectables. Now, of course DVD’s are taking up space in your home because we all just stream everything. This month’s forum is all about people who hang out the AdultDVDTalk Forums. It’s a fairly active forum with threads that sometimes run for over a decade. What do they talk about there? Well, mostly they talk about how much they love or hate different kinds of porn. Mostly they talk about how much they love anal porn but are sometimes disappointed by it. Occasionally they throw in some other topics as well.
Thanks for listening! Tell your friends! Ask for a magnet!
Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you! Or, you know, maybe they’d just kind of think you’re a jerk or maybe, just maybe, they’d listen and understand that you have a legitimate point about and take it into consideration. Either way, this month’s episode is basically people airing their grievances in a place where their friends are basically never going to see them. That is unless they are part of the Something Awful forums. And let’s face it, these days that is less and less likely. The thread I am reading from started over a decade ago and is over 400 pages long! That’s a lot of complaining! If I learned anything from this episode it’s that there are a lot of people with issues around weed in this world…
Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that was it was when it first appeared in 1995. Over the years someone, I don’t know who, has been selecting certain posts to be classified as BEST OF CRAIGSLIST.Â So you can imagine that after 24 years there have been a lot of qualifying posts!
This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.
Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!
Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!