Are you feeling the protrusion yet? Please enjoy this episode about milking your prostate. If you don’t know how to milk your prostate by the end of this episode then you just aren’t trying very hard…

I miss Prince, too…


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Lou Reads ep 181 – The Spicy Talk Forums

by King Lou on January 17, 2019

As a married man who hates breasts I could not get down with this forum. I mean, who likes breasts? Especially breasts full of milk that are being shared with lots of grown dudes and ladies looking for some kind of Adult Nursing Relationship? Oh right, the people who used to hang out at Spicy Talk Forums!

Good night, sweet cowboy…

Ok, I was lying. I don’t really hate breasts. Please don’t send me hate mail and pictures of your breasts to let me know how angry you all are at me. Reading this forum was fairly funny because of how almost every thread somehow got around to talking about adult breastfeeding… In the end I decided to just double down on all the ANR talk and accept the concept that there are a lot of people out there who think about drinking mothers milk ALL THE TIME… I hope you enjoy it!

I am planning a small bit of bonus content in a week. Keep your ears posted!

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I think we can all agree that everyone loves that feeling when you go to try on some clothes and realize that we’ve gotten too fat to fit into then. I think “super proud, content and certain that we’re living our best life” is probably the best way to describe that universal feeling that we all get when all that cramming of massive amounts of high calorie food pays off. Just like society teaches us. Gain weight. Gain status.

All that pizza ain’t gonna cram itself down your throat repeatedly until you expand your guts to handle a ton of extra food by itself, dude!

This forum for Lovers of Big Guts is still live on the internet but sadly the community of fat tummy loving guys who used to hang out there appear to have moved on. For now, we can still visit the forums to explore this record of their obsession with and enjoyment of overeating and gaining weight. This isn’t unlike the forums of Fantasy Feeder – A Forum For Fat Ladies and The Guys Who Feed Them. However, where that community focuses on the codependent relationship of feeder and eater, Big Guts focuses mainly on men and their own personal obsession with being overweight. I didn’t actually join this forum so I wasn’t able to see picture in that part of the forum. The avatars I saw in the thread featured a fair amount of naked or near-naked guys with big bellies. I guess what better way to really show off your whole belly? Wherever these men have moved on to you can be certain that most of them are still out there eating too much and rubbing their full bellies with a smile. Also, they probably all have diabetes, but hey…

And remember, sometimes that beer belly you’re so proud of just might be a giant 77 pound tumor.

HOLY SHIT!


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What happens to us when we die? What happens to us before we are born? Somehow the people at this forum know, with certainty, that everything is going to be alright. Especially after you die. This is truly amazing considering I can barely figure out what is happening to me right now, this very second!

Why the fuck the stairs gotta be so long?! It’s like that episode of DBZ! “Run in the Afterlife, Goku! The One Million Mile Snake Way!!” Give me a break, I’m dead!

I am fairly certain that at some point during this episode you will say out loud, “What? Wait… what?” That’s because there is more than a little complete nonsense being discussed here. Yes, I am a doubter. This much is clear! I’m also concerned with so many of the people on this site considering suicide in order to get to this next level of experience! If you’re considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Don’t kill yourself because you read on an online forum that the next life is SOOO MUCH BETTER! Amazingly irresponsible… Oh, also the whole “I remember as a baby I was thinking….” thing is so much insane bullshit… I can’t even… A BABY!… sigh…

As promised, here is your unassailable proof of the existence of the life after death. A lawyer who wrote a whole bunch of nonsense about the afterlife!


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Hey, I know that drug laws are lame and whatever, but what if I told you that you could get super high… legally! What if I told you that there was this drug that was pretty much like marijuana but was totally legal. What if I told you that you’ll have no idea what the Hell you’re smoking because the chemicals keep changing to stay ahead of the drug laws. And what if I told you that it used to be a relatively well known synthetic cannabinoid 10 years ago but was now a complete crap shoot of junk being made in clandestine Chinese laboratories! What if I told you that no matter how you warn people they will keep smoking this quasi-legal weed because it’s really easy to buy despite the fact that it can totally make you lose your shit! Alright, then! Well, take a hit of this super sweet incense blend, homie! Let’s start puking!

In this episode I’ll be reading from the Erowid experience vaults. These are anecdotal stories of drug use connected to Erowid’s super informational database about almost every drug. If you’re ever considering doing an illicit or even prescribed drug consider going to Erowid and checking out what it has to say about the compound before you try it. Especially if the drug has a potential for abuse! You’ll be glad you did!

Also, please encourage the legalization of marijuana globally because it should be easier to buy than this Spice garbage… If you are actually thinking about buying K2/Spice/Whatever other name this crap goes by please watch these videos. This drug can only be enjoyed in small amounts but should probably be avoided at all costs. I mean, unless you like screaming in the street, naked. Then go ahead.

Also, if you enjoy drug trips and safe access to a wealth of drug info, consider supporting EROWID!


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Hey, I know we just has sex and that I paid you for that sex because you’re an escort. But, I really feel that in this 10 minute encounter that we’ve bonded and I’d really like to see you again. And, also have sex with you again for money. But, maybe you’ll kind of be into me next time a little and give me a discount and eventually you’ll see that, although we met via an exchange of sex for cash, that I’m a super nice guy! And maybe you’ll want to date me and have sex with me for free because we’ll be dating! Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Oh, but don’t tell my wife…

I’m different than all the other guys you’re fucking. I’m a nice guy!

The world of escorting appears to be less awful from the world of street sex workers. However, every sex worker who trades sex for cash has to have a first time that they did it. That’s what is happening this episode of Lou Reads. I hope you enjoy hearing these stories!


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What’s that now? You want me to share some of my darkest secrets with the internet? Well, gee… I mean, I’ve seen and done some terrible things in my life but I’m not sure I want to post them on THE INTERNET… Oh, you think I should make a throwaway account in order to freely share the darkest of the dark? Well… Okay!

This is a direct reference to this episode. It is gross. Enjoy.

This episode of Lou Reads is your basic confessions post. Always a good time to hear what people feel are the dark secrets in their lives. Of course, some of these secrets are truly awful and as I mention at the end of the episode if you’re considering killing yourself please consider call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re just some weird guy who like’s masturbating at work or once considered boning your cousin then just keep on being yourself, you weirdo.

Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS!

LAST CHANCE FOR SHIRTS!


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You know that feeling you get when the world is telling you that you should take anti-psychotic medicine to deal with the invisible parasites you’re being plagued by? And you know the feeling you get when you tell the doctors you don’t want to take the medicine because it will just make the parasites sleepy but not actually kill them. And you know that feeling when you decided to drink your urine to help with your self diagnosed diseases? Wait, you don’t relate to any of these feelings? Well you must not be a member of the forums of Cure Zone.

Delish, nutrish and straight from the tap. Urine might be the best self-made medicine you you’ve ever gagged on!

Cure Zone is a forum for people who are battling a lot of problems. Is it all in their minds? Is society mocking their problems? Do they really have multiple types of parasites attacking them in a way that normal science cannot detect? Well, from reading all these posts I’d have to say… yeah… It’s all in their minds. But that doesn’t stop it from being all too real and troubling for the poor folks who post here.

I hope that you’ll enjoy this episode and that if you do start to feel like maybe you’ve got Morgellons or some other kind of skin parasite maybe take your doctors advice and try the antipsychotics. Also, if you have any serious disease, please realize that drinking your urine as a cure seems like a desperation thing and not a real solution to your problems. But please, take my opinion on this as simply that. I’m just a simple reader of the Internet who hasn’t rubbed any of my own urine on my body. What do I know?





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Lou Reads ep 174 – The Forums of Prison Talk

May 16, 2018

Have you considered marrying a man who you’ve only known through a pen pal connection? In this age of swiping right or left to instantly connect with someone, you can still find some people who are meeting people like it’s 1980 or something! Prison Talk is a forum for the loved ones of people who […]

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Lou Reads ep173 – SOLO SUCK FORUMS

March 28, 2018

I’m not doing myself any favors by reading from the forums of Solo Suck. I knew it would be tough to read and yet, I persisted. Just like Elizabeth Warren! Except instead of standing up to the GOP I stood up to my own stomach and challenged it with some seriously nauseating content. Now, like […]

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