Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!
Giving Voice to the Things You Didn't Want to Hear About
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Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to listen to discussions from people who are aroused by vomit!
I hope you enjoy this episode as much as its humanly possible to enjoy such a thing.
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Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…)
As promised here is a link to the original blog post.
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Have you ever lost something of value mysteriously? You may have thought it was a your thieving junky son, home from college! But perhaps there is something more magical afoot! Have you heard invisible people singing? It doesn’t mean you’re having a psychotic episode or that your forgot you’re wearing an iPod. It could be that a member of a magical race of tiny people could be trying to tell you they are there for no reason! Welcome to the wonderful world of faeries and the people who believe in them. Welcome to RealFairies.net
As far as silliness on the internet goes this forum is pretty tame. That doesn’t stop it from being very very silly.
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Hey everyone! I just got back from PAX and wanted to give you guys yet another mini-update from the Extrasode archives. This story was cut out of Episode 73: The Forums of Female First for time reasons (I think). This is a lovely short reading about a woman who comes to the most logical conclusion to the problem of her husbands sterility.
to quote my original post
It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special?
Enjoy?
Bonus content. Here is a picture of me working at PAX!
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Ok, so this episode has me sorry on several fronts. First off I’m sorry that it took me so lont to come out with it. As I mentioned on the Facebook page I had some family related health news that has took the wind out of my sails. More about that in the podcast. Secondly I’m sorry because this episode is really one-note-y. I decided to revisit the Tea Party Nation because last time it was a nice assortment of mixed wingnuts. Lots of different stuff to read about. By the time I was 20 minutes into recording I realized that there was almost no variety in the topics. In an election year everyone on that site has one common mission. Defeat Bolak Blaramo. 
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Are you feeling drained? It might be because someone nearby is not what they seem… YOU MAY BE UNDER ENERGY DRAIN ATTACK RIGHT NOW! No, its not just you didn’t get enough sleep or you’re bored. Its you, under energy drain attack by a vampire… right now! 
Don’t worry, though. According to this forum, vampires aren’t really trying to kill you. They are just born with some kind of unexplained deficiency that can only be helped by leeching energy from humans. Some of them need blood. But don’t worry, they don’t bite you for it. Apparently they ask you for it and they have to make sure you don’t have ant diseases first. Energy vamps appear to just sort of drain you and apparently, even if there were like 20 of them, all draining you at the same time, it still wouldn’t kill you. So… yeah. Anyway… this episode is about these people so get ready to learn more than you ever wanted to about this nonsense.
ALSO RELEVANT! As it so happens this weeks Comedy Bang Bang featured a poem about vampires.
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Lou Reads podcast is not responsible for any demons you may invite into your lives by listening to this podcast. Any hauntings, spookings or phantasasmings that may occur post-listening are totally not my fault and are probably a coincidence…
Ok, The Unexplained Mysteries Forum was an interesting place to read from. Why? Because there seem to be just as many rational people on the forum as there are kooks. So instead of the usual “Full Buy In” user who adamantly believes what most people are posting there seems to be a healthy amount of skepticism going on which made it fun to read, too.
As promised here are the haunted voice mails that are mentioned near the end of the podcast.
DID YOU SEE ME? This is the one where he claims that people when he wasn’t in the house himself saw an apparition. Then a voicemail was left saying “Did you see me?” SPOOKY!!! Or not…
There are too many to post on the blog but if you want to scare yourself bored please go ahead and listen to this nonsense that Para2011 posted on his Soundcloud page.
Thanks for listening! I hope you didn’t get too scared by the all the mysteries!
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First, I’d like to apologize about the opening part of this podcast. I should have described Hungry Pokemon as a forum for people who like talk about Pokemon Vore. Thats the main focus of the forum. Talking about Pokemon eating each other, eating people and sexual/eating encounters with them. They also discuss Pokemon generally but the main thrust of their focus is Vore. For this I apologize!
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this episode! More soon! Happy new year!
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Look, I’ve been very busy lately. I had to go work at BlizzCon and then I had to finish some paid work and then I had to do some other junk. It’s really not any of you business… Okay, I’m just feeling bad because it took me so long to get this episode out. In order to make up for it I’ve delved into some of the worst stuff I’ve done. Is it THE worst? I’ll let you decide.
Fetlife is an online community of people from all over the world who get together to discuss, among some topics, how much they like consuming feces and the finer points of crazy gluing a submissive slaves penis to his leg.
My attention was drawn to this fantastic nonsense by the fine folks at Something Awful who featured it in a front page article entitled “Beating a Man in a Trash Bag and Other True Stories from FetLife.com.” Do yourself a favor and check out that hilarious piece.
Anyway, please enjoy this well overdue episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Its gross!
Love,
Lou
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Look, I know this is a touchy subject… but have you checked your penis lately? Yes, I’m talking about measuring it and comparing it to other dudes. It’s looking pretty pathetic… I mean who couldn’t use another foot of cock-beef hanging out the front of their pants? I mean TWO FEET of dong-meat? It boggles the mind! Well, let me tell you about a website I found that will help you out…
So this episode is all about the lofty goal of penis enlargement. Hooray. I hope that you’ll all start Jelqing and Edging your way to super dongs in no time.
Enjoy the madness!
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