Lou Reads about The Sucky World of Vampires

by King Lou on March 16, 2012

Are you feeling drained? It might be because someone nearby is not what they seem… YOU MAY BE UNDER ENERGY DRAIN ATTACK RIGHT NOW! No, its not just you didn’t get enough sleep or you’re bored. Its you, under energy drain attack by a vampire… right now!

Don't worry. This won't turn you into a vampire... nothing will.

Don’t worry, though. According to this forum, vampires aren’t really trying to kill you. They are just born with some kind of unexplained deficiency that can only be helped by leeching energy from humans. Some of them need blood. But don’t worry, they don’t bite you for it. Apparently they ask you for it and they have to make sure you don’t have ant diseases first. Energy vamps appear to just sort of drain you and apparently, even if there were like 20 of them, all draining you at the same time, it still wouldn’t kill you. So… yeah. Anyway… this episode is about these people so get ready to learn more than you ever wanted to about this nonsense.

ALSO RELEVANT! As it so happens this weeks Comedy Bang Bang featured a poem about vampires.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Alucard March 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Yes I have vampirism. No you cannot have it. It is far too cool a diabetic cancer to spread around all willy-nilly. You do not want your neg blood pozzed.

Adana March 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I just got a weird call and then an email from my boyfriend who is a huge fan of your show. The thumbnail used for the Ipod version of this is a picture of me in a costume I made a long time ago. I don’t mind. I just wanted to make it clear that while I occasionally dress like a vampire and play in a vampire LARP that I do not actually think I am one. It was just a very strange and surreal moment.

hazel March 22, 2012 at 6:56 pm

“Your life with your new dildo is about to begin”
I would much prefer my packaging from an adult site to come like that, it would be way more entertaining though probably not very easy to explain.

Sean March 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Um hello! Vampires aren’t real except for me because I am totes eating your sadness right now.

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