Category: Educational

Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the Forums of Bad Dragon

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Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas!

Hasbro had a big recall on this one…

So here we are at the big 100. *Shrug* I hope you enjoyed it! This forum is great because for such a silly product it has some really friendly and enthusiastic customers. I recall when Something Awful discovered Bad Dragon the owner joined SA to talk to people and actually was soliciting the forum members for dildo designs before being banned. Seemed nice enough. You know, for a guy who earns a living making fantasy dildos. Who am I to judge. Who says I am? I’m just reading here. Get off my case.

Oh by the way, here is the baby jesus dildo I mentioned in the epilogue. And here is the magic health tea. It really did help.

Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum

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Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more meth sex talk but this time around I’m exploring more of the tips, tricks & travails of the meth users landscape. And what bette place to do that than Drugs-Forum.

Looking for a real contrast in the “Faces of Meth” poster on this one. Yes, I know its an amazingly terrible image.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode and that it doesn’t make you want to try Crystal Meth. Because as glamorous as it is, I just don’t think you have what it takes to be that cool. Wait… You are totally cool enough! Go for it!

HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE! Consider these awesome Crystal Meth related Holiday Gifts!


Lou Reads episode 98! Emetophiles talk about Hot Puke.

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Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to listen to discussions from people who are aroused by vomit!

I just didn’t feel like including a real humans puking picture.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as its humanly possible to enjoy such a thing.


Lou Reads minisode: How Can I Become a Juggalo?

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Just stopping in to drop off a little minisode for you. This was a recording done for a fan of the podcast. It was requested as a birthday gift. I figure since this was recorded in April it might be okay to share by now.

Be sure to finish all your faygo, little ninja.

If you want a recording for your friends birthday please let me know! More full length episodes coming soon!

Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail

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Ok, this dog may be too young to consent…

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…)

As promised here is a link to the original blog post.

Lou Reads all About Foot Sniffing: a Minisode

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Hello, true believers. I just wanted to drop a minisode I’ve been sitting on for a while. This was a recording I did for a listeners birthday a while back and I figure now is the time to share. The reading selection was suggested by the birthday girls significant other. If that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is… Maybe I need my head examined… Its been a while so I figured it would be okay to share it with ya’ll. I hope you enjoy it.

Lou Reads from the forums of EnemaPlease.com

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Ohhh… that old familiar feeling. You know the one. The feeling you get when you fill up your colon with several gallons of soapy liquid and then you dance around to make sure the water is loosening all your stool. Right! I knew we were talking about the same thing.

Nurse Giving Enema
This Hotel Offers Very Odd Services... Some Wake-Up Call!

Now, I’m sure most of you out there are already giving yourself enemas on a daily basis so this will seem boring to you. However, for the uninitiated few I’m sure this will be an eye-opening adventure down a path less travelled. Join me, please, as I guide you through the delights of Enemaplease.com

BONUS: Here is the video I made in college about a guy killing people in a hospital. WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS REALLY DUMB!


Yes that is me with the cycling cap. The early 90’s were horrible.


Lou Reads from Forums of Opiophile.org

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Okay, last episode was a tease. It should have been about drugs and it was all about people being crazy. This episode, I make it up to you with a reading from Opiophile.org. As you can probably guess, Opiophile is a website for people who love Opiates. And why wouldn’t they? Everyone says heroin is great and then they say they are coping with their use and then they disappear for a while and then they come back from rehab. It’s great!

A Man Smoking Heroin Off of Foil
Screw your hippy drugs. I'm doing the Hard Stuff!

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads. Please try not to OD while listening to it. I’d hate to come home and find you like this unfortunate girl. THANKS!




Lou Reads from Orgasmanic. A Forum about General Sex & Masturbation Chat

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First off, I would like to apologize to this forum for just straight mutilating the name of the forum for the 1st million times I said its name. The name of this forum is Orgasmanic not Orgasm Maniac or Orgasmania or whatever other retarded ways I pronounced it. I mean, I think you’d have to agree that my mistakes are probably better names for the forum but who knows. Maybe those names were taken. If they aren’t then you should probably go and register them and start your own masturbation forum.

A girl masturbating in class
I know you spelled it wrong but we get what you mean

I hope you enjoyed this episode. Sure, its no Fetlife but really, what is… I know its not the grossest but I actually enjoyed how not over-the-top gross Orgasmanic was compared to some of the horrible stuff I’ve read. Not to say that the topics aren’t gross or dumb at times. Its always amazing to see like minded people gleefully sharing their stories that in “polite society” would have people covering their ears in disgust. But then again there you are having it read straight into your ears! I guess thats says a lot about you!!! … and me… *Sob*

Anyway, I hope enjoy this episode. Hopefully next time I’ll have a lot less technical problems!

Lou Reads: AskReddit: Whats Your Most IRL Porn Story?

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Hello, Ladies. It's Boner Time!

Thanks to the over-sharing members of the mighty Reddit for sharing their stories in this thread in AskReddit. I would like to commission a study on the apparent high frequency of  three-way sexual encounters and internet use. Are young people having more three-way sex because of the internet? Are internet users more likely to have menage-a-trois? Will they let me watch them? Don’t worry. This is all on the up and up. You know… for science… Yes… Thats why I want to know about it… for science…

I’ll say that I’ve only been in one of these porn like situations once or twice. Sadly, none of them ever came to fruition. One time, I had 2 sisters let me choose between which one I wanted to go to sleep with. I ened up choosing neither because I am a loser… I’m so sad now. I’m a good person… when do I get my IRL porn situation… This world is unfair…

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Please tell everyone you know about it!