Lou Does a Guest Spot on the FlopHouse Podcast

Hey there, Fellers. As I mentioned in the last episode of Lou Reads (See Previous Post) I sat in on my pal Dan’s movie related podcast, The Flop House Podcast.

We watched the not so great movie “KILLERS!” For those not familiar with the podcast we watch a movie that has already come and gone from the theaters and then talk about it. For extra bonus fun I talk about seeing Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark on Broadway and about what a train-wreck is was. SO if you get a chance, check out The Flop House Podcast: KILLERS. I predict you will be in a state of entertainment at some point in the podcast. If not… well maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so angry…

Not a Good Movie!

Don’t fret, though. I’m busy looking for new horrible stuff to read about for you. Perhaps I’ll be taking a break from the HYPER-WRETCHEDNESS of the last bunch. I’ll even see if I can go a podcast without talking about excretions! See you later!

Lou Reads: Shoe Sessions Forum. A Place to Cum in Shoes! NSFW

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Wait till you see your Golden Air Jordans!

So… first of all… welcome to a new year! Thats right, it’s 2011 and I’m starting this year off with a bang! Wait… do you hear that? What’s that sound? If you guessed the gentle sound of urine filling a pair of women’s shoes you guessed right! If you guessed that it was human semen you may have also been correct if you went to this forum. Shoesession.com is a site dedicated to the myriad world of shoe fetishism. Not just the love of shoes but also the serious defiling, staining and plain old ruining of shoes. WHAT? Yeah. So get ready for some serious illness in your ears. Its not as bad as the Breeding Zone podcast but its up there! If you find out that someone you love is into this fetish you may require some Urine Off Odor and Stain Remover for your shoes…

Hey! Here’s that audio clip that I mentioned in the podcast! HOORAY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OH YEAH! FOLLOW LOU READS ON TWITTER! <– CLICK THAT

Lou Reads: What the hell is this shit? Tales of Terrible Xmas Gifts!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Go ahead! Open your present! I thought long and hard about what to get you and I really think it shows… Go ahead…

This is what all 22 year olds want this year!

We’ve all been there! It’s Christmas today and you are probably going to have to put on the happy face for a gift you don’t like at all. You probably won’t even have the slightest clue as to why someone would even think you would like something like this thing you’re holding. “DON’T YOU PEOPLE KNOW ME AT ALL!!??!!,” you’ll scream as you storm up to your room and start texting about how much you hate your family… Well the last podcast of the year at Lou Reads is all about this special moment in a persons life. The moment you peel off the wrapping and look in shock at the object picked with care, or maybe not so much, for you. The terrible present moment. I have to thank the Something Awful Goons as always for their fantastic and truthful over-sharing. As always it leads to a great and fun read. If you want to read the stories yourself then please check out the thread here. And remember you can always give someone an AMAZON GIFT CARD!!!

Heres to having a happy, healthy and safe Holiday season. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!!


Lou Reads: Raw Tops Breeding Zone – Bareback Bonanza! – NSFW

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Look, there is no two ways around this topic. This episode of Lou Reads is not for the weak. In fact I would say its outright gross. Now, you might say, “Hey, Lou, whats so gross about it? Its just gay men talking about mostly consensual, unprotected sex, with multiple sex partners per evening and all the ins and outs of said practice. Whats wrong with that?”

Death Fucking You in the Ass
This is hilarious...

Well… maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just being a prude. Maybe I should take a look at myself and as myself the tough question of, “Why am I not comfortable reading about the proper use of semen ice cubes?” I mean, I bet if I went to a shrink they’d probably ask me the same thing. So in a way this is like a free therapy session for you. When you stop crying you can thank me.

Just in case you were concerned about your semen output volume...

One last note: At no time should you become aroused when you are listening to this episode of Lou Reads. Specifically not aroused by the subject matter discussed. If you are aroused by an external stimuli then I can’t fault you for that. However, this particular episodes kinks are just kinda over the top gross. So quit getting all hot and bothered by it. At least around me…

Lou Reads about Sucky Customers and the Sucks who Serve them at CustomersSuck.com

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You know… I once thought that everyone who has a job loves the job and is grateful for the customers who come in and make that job possible. Oh, what a dreamer I was. Full of grand ideas about how the world worked and free trade economic policies…

If more customers did this then I could understand why people felt so angry towards them. Of course if you did the opposite no one would shop at your store. Classic Catch 22....

Then I got a job and realized that customers, for the most part, kind of suck. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I am a customer, too. I try really hard not be a bad customer. I don’t haggle, I don’t smell, I don’t do any of the things people on this forum complain about. I AM THE PERFECT CUSTOMER! Oh wait, I do the thing where I come in and get all the info then buy online… crap… I got too full of myself… and now I’ve paid the price for my hubris… I apologize. Look, my shift is almost over so if you don’t mind I’m just going to shut the register down and get some Dunkin Donuts and go home and cry…

While you imagine me crying and eating glazed donuts (such salty sweetness) won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads from the forums of Customers Suck dot com


2 Shots to the Dome!

Hey guys and gals, another non-podcast related posting. I just wanted to drop a quick note to update you on stuff I’ve been working on. First is commercial I just finished recording last week. I’ve been told its on the air but I haven’t seen it yet.

Then I did something for Blizzcon. If you don’t know what it is it’ll be obvious after you watch the video. It’s a huge online gaming nerd fest.

It’s been a busy November! I know if you belong to the Facebook page you already saw these but not everyone is as eager to share their personal info with the social network as you FB’rs. Now its back to working on the podcast for you rowdy lot, once again.


Lou Reads tales of Bad Roommates

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Look, I’ve had it with you. You are a terrible person to live with! You’re a slob! You stink! You won’t let my friends have sex in your room when you’re out of town! Really, you are the worst person I’ve ever lived with and when this lease runs out in 10 months I am out of here unless you move out then I wouldn’t mind taking over your room…

Photo illustration by Tyler Metcalfe/The Daily
Do you mind if I practice my guitar while you sleep?

Bad roommates are like a test from the universe. My question is what do bad roommates get out of living with good roommates? I mean besides living like the filthy inconsiderate bastards they are without consequence, of course. Now, I’ll admit that in my life I’ve been a bad roommate at times. Mainly due to my extremely privileged upbringing where I was taught that I am better than most people. I’ll just say that I’m glad that the internet was not a huge deal when I was in college or surely my name would have been in this podcast, too!

I just stand by the fact that no matter how bad I was as roommate I was never as bad as the infamous “Fecal Lasagna” Roommate.

For the record making a bathtub full of poop and newspapers does make you a bad roommate.

Thanks to the Something Awful goons for all their tales of roommate woe!


Hey, I’m Busy!

Hey Podcast Pals!

Sorry for another slight delay in the semi-irregular schedule of Lou Reads podcasts. The end of October was pretty crazy for me! As you can see I traveled to the Rally to Restore Sanity. On the way down my friend and
I consumed a can of Four Loko to see what all the hubbub was about.

Suffering Through A Can of Four Loko
It tastes like garbage juice mixed with gasoline and it will get you disturbingly drunk very quickly!
After that we went to the rally it was a lot of fun
Holy People! So Many People!!!
Then I had to hurry home from DC and get my kids costumes all ready for Halloween… No Four Loko was consumed.
Cuteness Robotified

Add on top of that whole mess of stuff to do that I just booked a voice over job doing a national commercial for Cuisinart and man… I am busy! I’ve got a couple of days off so I am going to try and punch a podcast out for you lovely lovers of Lou (Reads) and post it as soon as I can.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: VOTE IN FAVOR OF STUFF I CARE ABOUT TOMORROW! Don’t be an apathetic loser. Throw your vote in the vote hole. Do it. TTYL!

Lou’s Latest Mac Tip (Video)

Howdy podcast fans and people who come here through image search. I hope you’re having a great day. He’s something to put a cherry on top of that sundae of a day you’re bound to have today. It’s my latest Mac Tips video. I hope you’ll enjoy following and learning along. You probably won’t learn anything, actually…


Lou Reads Anonymous Confessions from GroupHug.us

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Hey, have I ever told you this horrible secret that I have? No? Oh right, that’s because it’s a terrible horrible secret that I can never share with anyone I know! Or at least thats what I thought until I came across the site known as GroupHug.us!

I ATE THE LAST DONUT

Much like a FML website its a place for people to drop their gems of personal confessions. Some are short, some are long, some are painfully honest and some are just stupid bullshit thought up by jerks. To me  that makes it a mixed bag of internet wonder!

Won’t you join me in shaking my head in amazement at this short assortment of crazy confessions.