Category: Jibber Jabber

Lou Reads ep 184 – Complaining About Friends on The Internet from Something Awful.

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WHYYY!!?!11

Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you! Or, you know, maybe they’d just kind of think you’re a jerk or maybe, just maybe, they’d listen and understand that you have a legitimate point about and take it into consideration. Either way, this month’s episode is basically people airing their grievances in a place where their friends are basically never going to see them. That is unless they are part of the Something Awful forums. And let’s face it, these days that is less and less likely. The thread I am reading from started over a decade ago and is over 400 pages long! That’s a lot of complaining! If I learned anything from this episode it’s that there are a lot of people with issues around weed in this world…

This image says it all.

Thanks for listening!

Lou Reads Episode 152 – Alien Abduction Forums

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I remember when I was a growing up as a kid there were two distinct periods when alien encounters & alien abduction were all the rage. There were shows in the 70’s like “Project Blue Book” and the classic “Alien Autopsy” film that was all the rage in the 90’s. My whole life I was into shows like The X Files & My favorite Martian or even the classic movies likeAlien! What I’m saying is that aliens from outer space are great entertainment! That is, unless they are visiting you in the middle of the night to do weird experiments on you while you’re sleeping! That hardly seems fair or necessary. And yet our alien visitors continue to come to earth to torture & probe & experiment on us while we sleep. Surely they should use all their superior technology to make the earth a better place to live! But no, it turns out that aliens aren’t like My Favorite Martian after all. They are night visiting, paralyzing, sample taking assholes.

Mondays, am I right? These fucking star people... What a bunch of assholes.
Mondays, am I right? These fucking star people… What a bunch of assholes.

I hope you’ll enjoy listening to these discussions from the forums of the Alien Abduction Help. Are these people for real? Well, judging by the responses on this forum that these people believe not only in aliens but a whole host of conspiracies and mystical things. Also, judging by the low amounts of traffic on this website I’d say that the current level of global interest in alien abductions is pretty much zero. As always, thanks for listening! Be sure to rate the show on iTunes & wherever podcasts can be rated!

As mentioned on the episode: THE STORY OF THE ALIENS OF EL YUNQUE

Elder HunbatZ Men meets the Crystal Skull from Brazil

Meditation guide by Bonnie

Shameless Begging
Shameless Begging

A Disturbing New Trend? Magnet Cats?

I’m not sure if we’re seeing the beginning of a trend here but in the last week we’ve seen 3 photos of Lou Reads magnets on cats. I’m in no way suggesting you test your cats iron content by placing one my powerful magnets on another living creature. However I think you’ll find these pictures are pretty cute.

The first two are from a great story entitled “I <3 Lou Reads the Internet or The Great Magnet Adventure“. Check out the amazing trip that magnet went on!

The last magnet belongs to a fan whose boyfriend bought a person birthday reading for her and got a magnet bonus, too! Keep those magnet pictures coming!

One Week Left until the Live Show!

Sorry for the delay in podcasting the dumbness. I’ve been socked with a ton of distractions. I’d had a bunch of paying Voice Over work, School is back in session and I’ve been losing sleep on the Live Show!

Insomnia? Yeah, gimme a double dose!

Just checked the Advance Ticket sales for the show. 5 brave people have pre-bought their $5 tickets to this life changing event! I assuming the rest of your are just going to roll the dice and push through the throng. I predict a bloodbath.

As an extra enticement the next episode of Lou Reads will be recorded based on a poll decided by the audience of the live show! Come cast your vote to make me read something truly amazing/awful/racist or something… mysterious!

Also I will probably be giving out posters and perhaps even hand-made adult magnets! Depends on how cool I think you are… I’m a pretty tough judge on coolness. Tough but fair.

Alright new episode coming soon. I promise!!!

Lou Reads Live Tickets Finally On Sale

Well its finally official. Lou Reads Live is up on the People’s Improv Theater website. They currently have the event linked to the wrong page to buy tickets at but if you want to buy tickets you can go click the photos below to go to the correct event.

It promises to be a very weird night! I’ve done tons of improv and sketch comedy but reading weird shit in front of people is going to be a new one on me! If you are have something you really want me to read and talk about please chime in at loureads-at-gmail-dot-youknow or fill in the contact page thingy.

A Fun Fact About Lou Reads

Hey, true believers, I had something silly I wanted to share with you today. As you know, God I hope you get this by now, I read from all kinds of crazy places on the internet. Sometimes, in order to get access to a forums best material, I have to sign up to the site as a member. While I always use a secondary email account I always use my real birthday. Since it was my real birthday last week I thought I’d share with you the bonus material that I found in my inbox that day.

See, its not all bad! These people like birthdays, too. Sure, they may like to celebrate your birthday with some kind of neutering or hardcore bareback act but I’m sure you’d get a cake with a candle on it at the end.

New episode being recorded this week. It promises to be depressing!

Changes Afoot at Lou Reads!

Dearest Stalwart Listeners,

King Lou Fernandez
Delicious Pen

There are changes going on at Lou Reads. You may have already guessed that from the title of this post! Nothing crazy drastic. Basically I got fed up with all the weird aborted downloads I was hearing about and decided to switch media hosts. Right now I’m trying out BluBrry. They seem alright so far but a lot of episodes didn’t get slurped down by their media-slurper thing so I’m trying to figure out how to remedy that. Other nice-ness is that you can now embed Lou Reads podcasts into your own blogs or websites. Sadly it doesn’t do forum BBCODE but hopefully an iFrame is good enough for you. So, anyway, if there is a file or two missing from iTunes or a post I hope to have them linked back up ASAP. I’m just waiting on BluBrry support to get back to me…

In other news the first Lou Reads magnet photos have started to come trickle in. Get in on the awesome paper/photo/receipt holding fun and send me your name and address and I’ll send you your very own Lou Reads magnet. How does it work? I don’t know. Miracles! Here are the first two photos!

Lou enjoys an exhibit in Chicago

DONT YOU MUNCH ME!

Thanks everyone! New episode out soon!

BLAMMM!!! TWO MORE SHOTS TO THE DOME!

I know! You we’re just asking “Whats up with Lou? Has he recorded any more Voice Overs that aren’t about the horrors of the internet?” Well, how nice of you to ask! I just got my hands on two of the latest commercials I’ve worked on. So if you’re bored check these out!

This was for the New York Times! The Old Grey Lady just got Read By Lou!

Now back to recording the horrors. New podcast coming out soon!

2 Shots to the Dome!

Hey guys and gals, another non-podcast related posting. I just wanted to drop a quick note to update you on stuff I’ve been working on. First is commercial I just finished recording last week. I’ve been told its on the air but I haven’t seen it yet.

Then I did something for Blizzcon. If you don’t know what it is it’ll be obvious after you watch the video. It’s a huge online gaming nerd fest.

It’s been a busy November! I know if you belong to the Facebook page you already saw these but not everyone is as eager to share their personal info with the social network as you FB’rs. Now its back to working on the podcast for you rowdy lot, once again.


Hey, I’m Busy!

Hey Podcast Pals!

Sorry for another slight delay in the semi-irregular schedule of Lou Reads podcasts. The end of October was pretty crazy for me! As you can see I traveled to the Rally to Restore Sanity. On the way down my friend and
I consumed a can of Four Loko to see what all the hubbub was about.

Suffering Through A Can of Four Loko
It tastes like garbage juice mixed with gasoline and it will get you disturbingly drunk very quickly!
After that we went to the rally it was a lot of fun
Holy People! So Many People!!!
Then I had to hurry home from DC and get my kids costumes all ready for Halloween… No Four Loko was consumed.
Cuteness Robotified

Add on top of that whole mess of stuff to do that I just booked a voice over job doing a national commercial for Cuisinart and man… I am busy! I’ve got a couple of days off so I am going to try and punch a podcast out for you lovely lovers of Lou (Reads) and post it as soon as I can.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: VOTE IN FAVOR OF STUFF I CARE ABOUT TOMORROW! Don’t be an apathetic loser. Throw your vote in the vote hole. Do it. TTYL!