Hey people. Just wanted to drop you a line to tell you that I did a guest spot on the often times entertaining (when I’m on it) podcast “The Comedy Nerds.“ They wanted to do an episode about the trend of XXX Parody versions of popular comedy shows and who better to talk about filth than yours truly. So if you’ve got some time to spare check out the show! We had a lot of fun watching the 30 Rock parody and some hilarious stuff was said… if I recall correctly…
I know, you’re saying “Finally! A podcast that is all about guy stuff!” Yes, I finally gave in and did a podcast about everyones favorite subject: Guys with really long balls. Low Hangers they call them. Apparently there are guys out there with naturally saggy or droopy testicles and this forum is where they get together to chat about how apparently great it is.
One Giant Raccoon with Huge Balls as Requested
Now some people weren’t born with this “gift” so they resort to all manner of cock and ball torture to lengthen their scrotums. It’s really quite insane. Please heed this warning: If you have a weak stomach do not go to this website. Even I had to stop looking at it and my eyes have seen some seriously awful stuff!
This is actually something you are supposed to put your penis in... No joke...
Without further ado won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads the forums of Rantallion AKA The Low Hanging Support Group. If you’re up for you it can read more about it at the Something Awful Weekend Web thread about the this site and one that is for people who like not wear underwear.
I can't believe that condom was still inside me...
You’re probably like, “Why you gotta do another sex podcast, you pervert.” Look, I am old. So fucking old. I am living vicariously through you good people and all your fucky sucky stories. Even the ones where things go terribly wrong. At least then I come out a winner because even though I am not having sex* at least it isn’t the terrible awkward kind these people are having. Once again I’m delving into the wonderful world of the Something Awful forums to share what they have shared with the world. As always, the Goons spin some of the best yarns around! Won’t you please enjoy the Stories of Awkward Sexual Encounters.
*Authors note: I have had sex recently. It was not awkward.
** Double Authors note: Also, I was just listening to this podcast at work and discovered that people tend not to like hearing about sex in general, in public. Oh society, when will you catch up with me? Get crackalackin!
Dear people. Please pay attention when you are in school. Especially when you are in sex education class! For the love of god don’t just giggle and guffaw through it or you might end up like these poor people. As you will soon hear these fools are busy at work asking the internet things they should have learned in school or asked a doctor about.
Pay attention in School
Some of these questions aren’t stupid but odd. What I found most amazing was the amount of people claiming to have the exact same issues. What are the chances that you’ll find 15 women who recently had abortions who want to talk about it on a random health forum. Well one thing is for sure. The women at SteadyHealth.com are easy and won’t make you wear a condom.
Won’t you please enjoy LOU READS THE STEADY HEALTH FORUMS.
What is there to say about adults that like to dress up like babies and poop and pee in their diapers? Besides shunning them and calling them on their twisted shit? Not much really. I mean these people are seriously damaged. They crave a simpler time. And somehow this time is directly tied to being able to take a shit in their pants.
I don’t blame you if you’ve already closed the window. Why this is a simpler time I don’t know. I mean it harkens back to when someone had to take care of you but somehow dressing like a baby doesn’t seem like a stress reliever to me. Nor does filling my pants with waste. Oh, I’m sure it’s MUCH deeper than that for these poor souls. Or maybe not…. This particular fetish is one I find super stupid. It combines play acting, effort and just so much nonsense that I can’t even entertain it. Yes, I am judging you, freaks. Wahhhhh.
Without any more delay won’t you please enjoy the grand stupidity known as the forums at the Daily Diaper. GAGA GOO GOO!!! WAH WAH!!!
Who hasn’t been there? You go out and the opportunity presents itself for some quick boning. The circumstances and the person at hand aren’t perfect but you’re determined to bust a nut or get filled up (or whatever means sex for your type of body) so you go for it. Everything fine until you’re done and then your guilt based programing kicks in and you start to feel bad about it. Does this describe you? Hell yeah. Does it describe me? Hell no! Mainly because I was always clueless to when a girl liked me and was too busy dreaming of the day I would have stuff to make a podcast about. Okay, so you and I don’t have that much in common but you and these guys sure do. They’ve lived the deeds and feel okay enough with their deviant lustful acts to share them. Won’t you please join me know as we take a virtual walk of shame with these brave folks in the podcast known as “STORIES OF SHAMEFUL HOOKUPS!” Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.
And won’t you also enjoy the above music video by the sexy and talented lady known as Shayna Ferm. I know her from my sketch comedy and improv days. She’s a nice lady.
As we learned from the podcast I did for the Large Penis Support Group I am well endowed. I have always heard of there being a race of men who have extremely tiny penii but never really took those stories at face value. Let me tell you something. This may scare you… It is absolutely true. Horrible and awful and true. Oh, my damned eyes! Why have I clicked the links? Was it curiosity or do I just hate myself that much. Visions of vienna sausages and baby mice fill my mind. Luckily for you I went there so you don’t have to. All you have to do is listen to the nonsense that people at MyTinyDick.Net talk about. I warn you, there will be acronyms you’ve never heard of. Like SPH and SPG. These stand for Small Penis Humiliation & Small Penis Glorification. I think if you went to this site your natural inclination would be towards SPE (Small Penis Eradication.) That may sound harsh but I think we’d all be better off….
I know.... It was a cheap laugh...
Won’t you please enjoy listening to the delights to your ears known as Lou Reads: MyTinyDick.net
You know, having the number one rated reading disgusting things from the internet for you podcast I get a lot of good suggestions for things to read for you. Well, let me correct that. I get a lot of really not so good suggestions. However, every once in a while I get a real treat. My online friend, whom I only know from chatting with, sent me a link to a real gem. He knew I would enjoy it and I did. What he sent me was a link to the forum at ZooTube365.com. Now, you shouldn’t go there. It’s a hardcore bestiality porn site. Who knew that porn sites had forums? Not me! Anyway, I shared it with Something Awful and we did a weekend web about the forum a few weeks ago. Oh what fun was had! Okay, it wasn’t fun at all. It was actually really revolting and sad. Remember, things can’t be unseen! MY EYES!!!!
Well, with that kind of a lead in how could you not listen! Won’t you please join me as I read for you the depths of the horrors of the forums at ZooTube365. If you make it to the end please be sure to do something nice for yourself. You’ll have earned it.
When I think of the wonders of craigslist I usually think of this type of encounter:
Hey, you know how we agreed on that price I was going to pay for you guitar amp? Well, I’m kind of a little short. Do you mind if I give you less than we agreed because I am a faking asshole who is trying to cheat you at the last minute? Cool, I figured you just wanted to get rid of it bad enough to take whatever. Hardy har har. Bye, chump!
Well, lo and behold I have come across the greatness of the of the best of craigslist top 100. I don’t know how they come up with this list. Not that it’s unknowable, I just haven’t bothered to look it up. What I do know is that there is a lot of funny crap happening there. So won’t you please enjoy my reading of the Best of Craigslist!
Look, of all people, I know what a burden it can be to have an extremely large penis. I mean, the word large is not even descriptive enough to really do it justice. Is there even a word? Gi-dong-gantulous? I would post pics but its kind of like looking at the sun. You should really only do it with protective gear involved. I digress.
The Large Penis Support Group is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a forum for men with large peens to get together and talk about the wonderful world of giant dong-dom. Of course there are some women in the mix too. For who is the receiver of all this oversized beef? Oh, right, all the gay guys on the forum. Well there are some ladies on there, too. I didn’t read any of their posts but they are on there. I assure you… Anyway, once again I joined with the SA Goons to explore the depths of the silliness of this forum and we came up with some gems. Won’t you please enjoy my reading of the LPSG.
On note: I decided to break out of the mold and read this site in the style of a over-the-top morning DJ so it’s EXTRA stupid but also made me laugh quite a bit. Let me know what you think.
