Lou Reads Service Industry Complaints from IGOTSTIFFED.COM

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Waiting tables… sucks. I’ve never done it but I have friends and loved ones who have made the food industry their careers. I’m sure if you’ve worked in a restaurant you’ll relate to these true submitted tales from the people who take your order every day. These particular tales come from the website called

igotstiffed.com

Tip your server, people... sheesh...

I didn’t mean for this episode to get totally taken over by this whole race issue but wow! There is a lot of comments on this topic. I barely scratched the surface!

EXTRASODE! Originally I was going to read from this Pissed Off Waiters thread from Tribe.net but it was basically dead. I did managed to find some fun stuff to read from it. ENJOY!
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Finally, the new Magnets have shipped! Order now!!!



LOU READS 3rd ANNUAL HOLIDAY OFFER IS BACK!

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Hey there guys. It’s that time again. If you’re looking for a stupid gift for someone (including your stupid self) do I have an offer for you! Once again I am offering to read something for you, yes YOU, for the low sum of $5 in paypal monies. Need a new voicemail for your smartphone? I can make it! Need a new recording on your outgoing answering machine? Tell me the number and how to make a remote recording (yes, you can do that. Find the manual!) and I’ll do it! Just want a sound file of me saying you’re a pretty fucking amazing person you can play for your co-workers when you feel like pissing them off? No problem. Just drop me an email at loureads AT THE GMAIL!

Here are some examples of recordings I’ve made in the past. Please note: I’ve gotten a lot better at audio production so the audio will sound better than these.


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Lou Reads Horrible Fetish Chat from Fetlife.com

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Look, I’ve been very busy lately. I had to go work at BlizzCon and then I had to finish some paid work and then I had to do some other junk. It’s really not any of you business… Okay, I’m just feeling bad because it took me so long to get this episode out. In order to make up for it I’ve delved into some of the worst stuff I’ve done. Is it THE worst? I’ll let you decide.

Fetlife is an online community of people from all over the world who get together to discuss, among some topics, how much they like consuming feces and the finer points of crazy gluing a submissive slaves penis to his leg.

This is just is the TIP of the filthy pile of endless fetishes @ Fetlife

My attention was drawn to this fantastic nonsense by the fine folks at Something Awful who featured it in a front page article entitled “Beating a Man in a Trash Bag and Other True Stories from FetLife.com.” Do yourself a favor and check out that hilarious piece.

Anyway, please enjoy this well overdue episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Its gross!

Love,
Lou

Lou Reads Episode 80 – More Erowid Trip Reports

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Fellow Psychonauts, for those about to dose, we salute your reckless bravery in your quest for shits, giggles and inner-truths.

If you have this much 2C-i you're either a Euro-zone drug kingpin or a college kid with a lot of long evenings ahead of you.

You asked for it and you got it! More tales of illegal drug adventures from the Vaults of Erowid. I hope you enjoy them! I seriously hope after listening to this harm-reduction podcast that you will think twice about not-inviting me to your drug binge parties.

Also won’t you please enjoy this:
HUFFING DUSTER EXTRASODE

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Lou’s Library Recommended Reading!

Lou Reads Penis Enlargement Advice from PEGym

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Look, I know this is a touchy subject… but have you checked your penis lately? Yes, I’m talking about measuring it and comparing it to other dudes. It’s looking pretty pathetic… I mean who couldn’t use another foot of cock-beef hanging out the front of their pants? I mean TWO FEET of dong-meat? It boggles the mind! Well, let me tell you about a website I found that will help you out…

What are you waiting for? Lets Get STRETCHING!

So this episode is all about the lofty goal of penis enlargement. Hooray. I hope that you’ll all start Jelqing and Edging your way to super dongs in no time.

Enjoy the madness!


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Lou Reads Hand Selected Penis Remedies

Lou Reads Live Show Video is Live

I’m sorry you couldn’t be at the live show. I’ve made a video version so you can feel like you were there. I’m sorry you chose such a terrible seat for yourself.

Ok! New episode coming this week!

One Week Left until the Live Show!

Sorry for the delay in podcasting the dumbness. I’ve been socked with a ton of distractions. I’d had a bunch of paying Voice Over work, School is back in session and I’ve been losing sleep on the Live Show!

Insomnia? Yeah, gimme a double dose!

Just checked the Advance Ticket sales for the show. 5 brave people have pre-bought their $5 tickets to this life changing event! I assuming the rest of your are just going to roll the dice and push through the throng. I predict a bloodbath.

As an extra enticement the next episode of Lou Reads will be recorded based on a poll decided by the audience of the live show! Come cast your vote to make me read something truly amazing/awful/racist or something… mysterious!

Also I will probably be giving out posters and perhaps even hand-made adult magnets! Depends on how cool I think you are… I’m a pretty tough judge on coolness. Tough but fair.

Alright new episode coming soon. I promise!!!

Lou Reads Live Tickets Finally On Sale

Well its finally official. Lou Reads Live is up on the People’s Improv Theater website. They currently have the event linked to the wrong page to buy tickets at but if you want to buy tickets you can go click the photos below to go to the correct event.

It promises to be a very weird night! I’ve done tons of improv and sketch comedy but reading weird shit in front of people is going to be a new one on me! If you are have something you really want me to read and talk about please chime in at loureads-at-gmail-dot-youknow or fill in the contact page thingy.

Lou Reads Confessions from Confessionpost.com

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Guys…. I’m sorry… have something to confess… One time…

This is the worst confession I have ever heard... I know its going to haunt me!!!!

Well, you probably get the idea of this episode. It’s all kinds of confessions. I was originally going to split the episode between two different confession sites but as it turned out, one was enough. Real stories? People wasting time on the intertubes? I read. You decide.

As promised here is this episodes EXTRASODE: HOW THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE SAVED MY SOUL BUT ALSO MADE ME WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH TWO FORTY YEAR OLDS.

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Okay, my debt is paid. Back to the beach. I am on vacation after all…

Well deserved vacation is in effect

Lou Fernandez: Real Doll Repairman

Just made another video. I hope you enjoy it. It’s not really a “Lou Reads” thing but I couldn’t help myself…

Watch it FULL SCREEN to get the TRUE HD POWER!!!