Lou’s Top 10 XMAS Countdown from Something Awful’s Goon Made Christmas Music

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Hey! Hanukka is almost over (or over I can’t remember) and its almost Christmas! The guys over at the Something Awful forums have been working super hard on their 4th annual Christmas music collection. I took it upon myself to fire up the Garageband and make a top 10 countdown. There were 87 songs to choose from and it was actually hard to pick 10 but I did it, you guys. There were some great bad songs made! As you may have seen on the Facebook Page I threw my hat into the ring for a couple of holiday classics. Please forgive this diversion from the usual forum nonsense and enjoy a lovely jumble of holiday awfulness. More forumsy goodness is just around the corner!

You can download the whole collection of 87 songs here

Peace on Earth Through Total Annihilation - GLASS THE EARTH!
Peace on Earth Through Total Annihilation – GLASS THE EARTH!

And remember if you haven’t finished your holiday shopping & you’re planning on buying stuff at Amazon you can help Lou Reads out by shopping via THIS HANDY LINK! Thank you!

 

If you want to hear all the Something Awful Christmas music ever made then check out  https://saxmas.robotcousin.com/

Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the Forums of Bad Dragon

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Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas!

Hasbro had a big recall on this one…

So here we are at the big 100. *Shrug* I hope you enjoyed it! This forum is great because for such a silly product it has some really friendly and enthusiastic customers. I recall when Something Awful discovered Bad Dragon the owner joined SA to talk to people and actually was soliciting the forum members for dildo designs before being banned. Seemed nice enough. You know, for a guy who earns a living making fantasy dildos. Who am I to judge. Who says I am? I’m just reading here. Get off my case.

Oh by the way, here is the baby jesus dildo I mentioned in the epilogue. And here is the magic health tea. It really did help.

Lou Reads Extrasode from Ponychan. How My Little Pony Helped a Man Confront His Abusive Step-Father

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You may remember when I read from the forums of the Bronies way back in March of 2011. Well you may have missed this extrasode that was posted on the blog. This story was not from the forum but another site called Pony Chan and involves a person using My Little Pony to help them through a tough time.

My thoughts exactly. No judgements…

A listener told me they actually met the author of this story in person at some Brony meet-up… I don’t recall if they told them I had read it online but whoa! Small world.



Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum

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Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more meth sex talk but this time around I’m exploring more of the tips, tricks & travails of the meth users landscape. And what bette place to do that than Drugs-Forum.

Looking for a real contrast in the “Faces of Meth” poster on this one. Yes, I know its an amazingly terrible image.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode and that it doesn’t make you want to try Crystal Meth. Because as glamorous as it is, I just don’t think you have what it takes to be that cool. Wait… You are totally cool enough! Go for it!

HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE! Consider these awesome Crystal Meth related Holiday Gifts!


Lou Reads episode 98! Emetophiles talk about Hot Puke.

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Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to listen to discussions from people who are aroused by vomit!

I just didn’t feel like including a real humans puking picture.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as its humanly possible to enjoy such a thing.


Lou Reads minisode: How Can I Become a Juggalo?

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Just stopping in to drop off a little minisode for you. This was a recording done for a fan of the podcast. It was requested as a birthday gift. I figure since this was recorded in April it might be okay to share by now.

Be sure to finish all your faygo, little ninja.

If you want a recording for your friends birthday please let me know! More full length episodes coming soon!

Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail

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Ok, this dog may be too young to consent…

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…)

As promised here is a link to the original blog post.

Lou Reads all about Real Faeries!

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Have you ever lost something of value mysteriously? You may have thought it was a your thieving junky son, home from college! But perhaps there is something more magical afoot! Have you heard invisible people singing? It doesn’t mean you’re having a psychotic episode or that your forgot you’re wearing an iPod. It could be that a member of a magical race of tiny people could be trying to tell you they are there for no reason! Welcome to the wonderful world of faeries and the people who believe in them. Welcome to RealFairies.net

Almost as bad as the people who wish Avatar was real… almost…

As far as silliness on the internet goes this forum is pretty tame. That doesn’t stop it from being very very silly.

Lou Reads: Bonus Content from Episode 73 – My Brother is my Baby Daddy

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Hey everyone! I just got back from PAX and wanted to give you guys yet another mini-update from the Extrasode archives. This story was cut out of Episode 73: The Forums of Female First for time reasons (I think). This is a lovely short reading about a woman who comes to the most logical conclusion to the problem of her husbands sterility.

to quote my original post

It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special?

Enjoy?

Bonus content. Here is a picture of me working at PAX!

Manning the Social Media station & Official Dragon & Baron Clock Caller

Lou Reads all About Foot Sniffing: a Minisode

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Hello, true believers. I just wanted to drop a minisode I’ve been sitting on for a while. This was a recording I did for a listeners birthday a while back and I figure now is the time to share. The reading selection was suggested by the birthday girls significant other. If that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is… Maybe I need my head examined… Its been a while so I figured it would be okay to share it with ya’ll. I hope you enjoy it.