Author: King Lou

Lou Reads: The Bug Chaser Forums

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Happy Independence Day, America! Try not to blow off your fingers!

Surely as a netizen of the cyberness you’ve come across the term “Poz My Neg Ass.” What do you mean you haven’t? Oh, I forget. You have a life and don’t spend every waking hour thinking about the computer. Anyway…

What we have here is a forum for gay men who have or want to have HIV/AIDS. According to Wikipedia:

Bugchasing (or bug chasing) is a LGBT slang term for a subculture of Homosexual men who actively pursue HIV infection.

Bugchasers seek sexual partners who are HIV positive for the purpose of having unprotected sex and sero-converting; giftgivers (also gift givers) are HIV positive men who comply with the bugchaser’s efforts to become infected with HIV.

Yup. Thats right. These people want to get HIV. Once they get it they feel free to have all the anonymous bareback (aka unprotected) sex they can handle with other HIV+ dudes. Now, as you’ll hear some of them aren’t just contented to simply have HIV and give it to people who want it. No, they actively seek to infect people with HIV through deceit or force. Oh what a wondrous world we live in, eh?

Well strap your brain down, put the headphones on and get ready to wave off everyone who asks “Why do you have that horrible expression on your face.” They are really better not knowing. If you want to see the work that went into finding some of the best quotes from that site then check out the Something Awful Weekend Web where I found these items to read. This forum caused some of the hardcorest weekend web guys to cringe and refuse to take part. Be glad I didn’t back down! Now, on to the ear hole destruction!

Lou Reads: Bareback Exchange Bugchasers Forum

Lou Reads: One Star Reviews of Classic Books

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“I can’t believe we have to read all these books over the summer!” If you were like me you said this every single summer after the the summer where books with drawings in them were no longer allowed to count for your book total. Stupid books without drawings in them what with all their words and not drawings in them. Am I expected to imagine what things look like in my mind without the short cut of someone else’s author approved interpretation in illustration form? OH MAN! I am getting heated! These people are also heated. They are all fired up about some classic novels and had to share how much they didn’t like them. ONE STAR! To get you to bother to write a crazy one star review on Amazon you need to really get a person angry. These dead authors should be proud of the hornets nest their words whacked into a frenzy.

I hope you won’t give this podcast episode one star… there really isn’t a reason to do so… unless you’re some kind of jerk on the internet…

LOU READS: One Star Reviews of Classic Books


Lou Videos: Mac Tips on Funny or Die

Hello again, friends. Oh, you say I’ve made the mistake of being to casual before. You’ll have to excuse me. I have a terrible brain problem.

Regardless, I don’t know if you knew but I make videos, too. Normally I just post them to YouTube or what not but today I submitted one of my newest ones to Funny or Die. So won’t you please watch and vote positively for it? Don’t worry more Lou reading is coming right up on it’s normal schedule.

In the meantime please watch this and vote.

Lou Reads: Cuckold Place Forum

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Hey. Have you been thinking lately that it would be a great idea for your wife to have sex with another man while you watched and were demeaned? Are you thinking about letting someone else get your wife pregnant so you can feel humiliated while also ensuring she comes off looking like a whore? Need some advice about how to keep your groin parts clean when you’re wearing that male chastity belt? Well then you’ve probably already found yourself a home over at Cuckold Place Forums. These guys have some serious issues and they just let the nonsense flow. Not for the weak at heart!

Lou Reads: The Rapture Ready Forums

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Oh lawdy! Oh Lawdy! Jesus is a-coming! You best be hoping you ready for the judgement day. Oh lawdy!

This is a lovely forum called Rapture Ready. It’s full of all kinds of End-of-Days type looneys. It won’t take very long for you to get what is wrong with these kooks. When they aren’t busy praying for the rapture to come and snatch them away from the evils of the world (and coincidentally the mortgage that is about to default.) They rail against imaginary Obama power grabs, why jews won’t just listen to the truths of the Bible and a host of other crap which makes them annoying as shit.

Lou Reads posts from the Rapture Ready Kooks

Lou Reads: Your Most Embarrassing Moment

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Hello, my internet friends. We are friends aren’t we. Oh… I see… I suppose I overstepped my boundaries. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again. Lets continue in a business-like manner, shall we. I’m glad you’re being big about this…

This week I am reading to you from a Something Awful thread entitled “Your Most Embarrassing Moment.” In it people share their lowest moments. These moments are often caused by the story teller being a big dummy and paying the price. As an added bonus this week I have included an unedited version of the carrot story from this podcast. I hope it will let you see that I really do have a hard time reading these things! Enjoy!

Lou Reads about Workplace Inefficiency

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Frustrated at work? You’ll relate to these stories then. Listen and enjoy as these people share stories of their annoyance with roadblocks of redtape, stupid people and just plain retarded policies on the job.

Lou Reads Stories of Workplace Inefficiency


Lou Reads: Incest at It’s Very Best…

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Some old book says “Love thy Brother” Maybe it was a bible of some sort. Wherever it came from I doubt they meant incest. Yes, you guessed it. This week is about the ultimate super nasty, mega-taboo topic of inter-familial sexual relations. Once again as a participant in the weekend web sojourn to the land of incest related forum reading I exposed myself to some seriously awful garbage and then recorded it for your grimacing pleasure. If these people are telling the truth then there is a lot more consensual incest going on that I thought. And I sincerely thought the number was like 0.0000000000000000000… there aren’t enough zeros really. Just imagine some kind of very long row of zeros going to the vanishing point and beyond the horizon there is a lonely number one. Alright, put your headphones on. This shit is gross!

EDIT: I just re-listened to this episode and it’s seriously insane. ENJOY!

JOURNEY TO THE INCEST ZONE

Lou talks about Crass Comedy

My friends Dustin and Dan are both very talented stand-up, sketch and improv comedians working in NYC. You’d think that living the life the last thing they’d want to do is talk about comedy some more. Yet, they do. On this episode the guys invited me over to discuss the fine art of crass comedy. Why? Because that’s really my forte. Give a listen. Its was a really fun thing to record.

The Comedy Nerds

Be sure to hit The Comedy Nerds on iTunes.

Lou Reads about Peoples Bad Drug Experiences

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whomever you are, you may be pro-drugs or against drugs but one thing everyone enjoys is a good story of a bad drug experience. Why? Because when someone tells you about a good drug experience you are either wishing you were them or too busy condeming them in your mind to really listen. With a bad drug experience every goes “Oh man, thats fucked up. I am glad I’m not you.” So everyone wins. The source of the read is Erowid. If you have a question about a drug you want to do thats a great place to go… I hear….

Please enjoy this random sampling of peoples personal bad drug trip experiences.

BAD DRUG TRIPS