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Oh, hello. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? As you may have read on the Lou Reads Facebook page I haven’t felt very inspired to record anything for a while. I started and stopped several episodes on drugs and one about some kind of porn-related thing but it all felt kind of done. Well, I finally found something that made me want to read out loud again. And that something was the blog known as BiblicalGenderRoles.com. Now, this is a blog dedicated to the idea of men & women’s roles in marriage, and in life, are better if you live in accordance with the rules set forth in The Bible.

As you’ll soon hear, this website has a fairly unmodern approach to relationships and that’s the point. Apparently the last 50 years or so have really dinged the whole “Men are leaders of the family” paradigm thingy. Especially because the Devil has encouraged people to live by the creed, “Don’t do stuff if you don’t wanna.” So, let’s say you don’t want your husband to spank you when you’ve been disobedient. Your rejection of his desire to give you a good butt whuppin’ is really the Devil encouraging you to reject your husband’s Biblically mandated right to exercise his dominion over you. See, when you say it like that it just makes sense. I hope you enjoy this long-overdue episode!

Here are some supplemental books to get you headed down the right path. I’m sure they’re all super great or dumb. One of the two.

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I don’t remember a lot from High School but what I do recall is mainly the dumb shit my friends and fellow classmates got into. Most of my stories from High School revolve around drinking too much and doing graffiti (separately). A kid did bring a gun to school but he was just showing off, not trying to kill everyone for some teen angsty reason. IIRC he was kicked out of the school at a later date for something minor that appeared to be the final straw/excuse the principle was looking for to get the guy out. This episode of Lou Reads I went to AskReddit and read a bunch of stories of people’s most NSFW memories from High School. I hope you enjoy it!

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Have you ever had this conversation? “Look, it’s my first time going to get a “massage” and I’m not sure how to make sure my “massage” ends in a “happy ending.” I mean, if it just ends in just getting my body relaxed with a real “massage” I guess that would be okay, too… but I’m really hoping to, you know… get a certain muscle worked on… you know? Oh, you don’t? Look, mom, I need to go…” Well, if you have then you should be checking out RUB MAPS instead of asking your mom for Asian Massage Parlour advice. RUB MAPS is a consumer review site for illicit massages with an entire, active forum for its users. Unfortunately you have to pay to see the reviews. Luckily you can see the forums for free and it’s a great source for all your “going to have sex with a masseuse” questions.

This time around I didn’t actually read any of the site reviews but I may do so if I ever revisit. I hope this doesn’t give you blue balls… Also, if you get confused by any of the slang in this episode please consult this amazing massage parlour slang guide. You’re gonna need it!

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It wasn’t so long ago that DVD’s were the awesome collectables. Now, of course DVD’s are taking up space in your home because we all just stream everything. This month’s forum is all about people who hang out the AdultDVDTalk Forums. It’s a fairly active forum with threads that sometimes run for over a decade. What do they talk about there? Well, mostly they talk about how much they love or hate different kinds of porn. Mostly they talk about how much they love anal porn but are sometimes disappointed by it. Occasionally they throw in some other topics as well.

Thanks for listening! Tell your friends! Ask for a magnet!