True Stories – Page 3 – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads ep151 – Mermaid Talk from the MerNetwork

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What’s the matter? You look like you came down with a case of fin rot! Come on you can share your feelings with me. Catfish got your tongue? Ok, well you don’t have to tell me what your deal is but if you feel like talking about it I recommend checking out the forums of The MerNetwork.

This photo didn't even come close to making me reconsider anything besides getting on the internet today... — This photo didn’t even come close to making me reconsider anything besides getting on the internet today…

This episode is all about the wonderful world of the MerMaiding community. I’ll bet you thought it was all about people who wish they were really MerMaids or debate the possibility of there being REAL mermaids in the depths of the ocean. Nope, it’s just some folks talking about dressing up like a half-fish and flopping around in pools. I’ll bet you feel like a real asshole now. Serves you right. Enjoy!

Lou Reads episode 150 – Tales of Sibling Injuries

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Ok, I admit I meant to push you off that cliff but I really didn’t mean for you to get THAT hurt. I guess in hindsight it should have been more obvious that a 300 foot drop may have resulted in multiple contusions. Again, my bad. But look at it this way. In 30 years, if you pull through, we are going to laugh & laugh. You might even get a fun nickname like “Old Falling Jim” and I might get called something like “Pusherman.” We don’t have to go with those ideas but, you know, just think about it. Ok, visiting hours are over so I’ll catch you later. Whatever you do, don’t die… Mom would be hella pissed at me if you do. Ok, later, little bro!

THIS IS A FUN GAME WE ARE PLAYING! SAY IT!

I don’t know if this is a good representation of the kind of posting that happens at the Fark.com forums but it is as close as I’m going to get for the time being. This episode is a collection of mostly fun stories of kids getting injured by or injuring their siblings. If you have a brother or sister (however they present their gender today) you’ll most likely have at least a few similar stories in your mental roladex. I’m sure my brother could make his own podcast about what a complete asshole I was to him growing up. Sigh… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this break from the wretchedness of the episodes of the recent past. I know I needed a break from the awfulness! Next month I’ll be back to the horrors. Until then, enjoy the show!

Lou Reads Ep148 My Husband Pooped in the Shower

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Hey, it happens to everyone, right? You get in the shower, you realize you need to poop. Now you have a choice, get out and have a weird wet poop on the toilet or just have a sensical dump right there in the shower. Oh… that doesn’t happen to everyone? Uh… yeah.. me neither.

I'm glad this sign exists or I would be shitting in the shower every morning. — I’m glad this sign exists or I would be shitting in the shower every morning.

This episode was a pretty entertaining silliness. My own story of shower pooping (a complete accident) was part of a time in my life when I had constant irritable bowel syndrome issues. I won’t go into details but it was gross… Anyway, I hope you enjoy the episode. Ironically, I’m stuck home editing this because I have some kind of super terrible stomach flu! Blehhh.

Now watch this video. It is the best.

Lou Reads ep 147 – Share Your Druggiest Moments from Something Awful

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Oh my God, dude. Last week I was so wrecked. Dude, you would not believe it. I took so many drugs! How many? Like this many!

I took 5 reds, 3 blues, a hit of tan and smoked a banana peel.

What is the deal with 1p-LSD? Anyway, I always enjoy reading the stories of peoples silly (scary) adventures in altered states. Most of these are not THAT bad but they are still entertaining. I hope you find them so.

Best Vape Prices — Hey, buy your next vape at PuffitUp! Great service & Prices!

Lou Reads ep144 Shoplifting Tips & Tricks from the dead forums of Zoklet.net

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Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step back into the store. Would you mind taking off your jacket? Sir, I don’t care if it was a gift from your mother. I’m more concerned with the 10 pairs of FUBU hoodies you’ve concealed in your shirt. Oh, I suppose someone else jammed them in there. Great.

I know what will help me forget my shoplifting conviction. Stealing this bottle of booze!

There are a lot of sources for information about shoplifting and I’m very proud you chose to come here to learn. Why, by following the advice in this episode of the podcast you should have a nice little crime record. Don’t get me wrong. You’ll also have some stolen clothes. It’s totally worth going to all the trouble to steal all your clothes. Yup. Not being sarcastic. Nope.

SUPPORT LOU READS! REMEMBER TO BUY YOUR HOLIDAY AMAZON PURCHASES THROUGH MY LINK!

Lou Reads episode 142 – Intactivism from the forums of Restoring Foreskin

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I really don’t want to share any images related to this episode.

Circumcision is a controversial topic. For me it’s a Star-Bellied Sneeches thing. “They have extra skin on thars!” If you didn’t know about foreskin would you miss it? Well, these guys would and they do. On the other hand the reasons for circumcision are really amazingly stupid. Mainly because they are based on religious nonsense and outdated medical knowledge. If God told you to kill someone because they believed in a different religion than you would you? Never mind.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Whatever you do don’t let someone you cut you off mid-podcast.

Lou Reads episode 141 – Tales of Troll Dads from Reddit

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I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find tales of dads trolling. I hope you enjoy listening to these stories shared by the victims of fatherly mind-fuckery as much as I enjoyed reading them.

Lou Reads ep138 – Prostitute Reviews & More from the forum at UK Punting

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Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting.

That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you're welcome. — That sex was so great, here, please take all my money. I totally believed you liked what we just did, too. So, you’re welcome.

Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK who frequent prostitutes. It’s a safe place for them to get together to share their experiences with the same prostitutes & call girls that they are all fucking. Of course it is great that there is a place you can go and read up on and rate all the hookers in your area. An informed customer is a happy customer. Especially when it comes to fucking random ladies for money. I hope you enjoy this punt-cast.

Below is a book actually written by the owner of UK Punting! Guess which one it is!

Lou Reads Ep137 – The Amazing World of Robo-Tripping. DXM not DMX.

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Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that why you’re so dumb? Oh? Well, cool…

There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just kidding. Pick cherry. — There are so many choices in life! Cherry? Grape? To not drink cough syrup to get high? Just king. Pick cherry.

So this episode is all about the great idea of drinking cough syrup to trip. Aka “Robo-Tripping.” I know, it sounds like a great idea. Well, listen for yourself and decide if you’re missing out. And if you do your local pharmacy is just down the street just sitting there chok’ful of liquid tripping just waiting for you! Go on, now… CHUG!

Lou Reads ep133 – Tales of Crazy Parents

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You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.”

Some problems take care of themselves... — Some problems take care of themselves…

I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I guess I hope you enjoy it. A lot of the stories in this episode are long and will make you feel bad… Remember the time that you didn’t get a toy you wanted and you were sad and mad at your parents for it? Listen to this episode and give your parents a high five for not completely fucking you up.

Enjoy?