Podcasts – Page 3 – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads tales of the Worst Thing You’ve Ever Done from Bluelight.ru

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Howdy folks. I meant to come to Bluelight.ru to read trip reports but I got distracted by this gem of a confessional thread entitled The Worst Thing You Have Ever Done. I was so taken with its stories that I had to share.

Smoking_Crack_On_a_Plane — I’m In the Mile High-High Double High Club!

Now, you may find it odd that some people considered these events to be the worst things they have ever done. Especially considering that this is posted in a drug use forum. I mean, someone of them are just kids being kids. On the other hand some of these stories are fucked up! Such is the internet. People just gotta share and for that I thank them. Bless your stereotypically described Cheetos-stained fingers.

UNRELATED BONUS AUDIO.
A friend-of-a-fan commissioned this reading for said fan’s birthday. It was a fun little read and I thought I’d share it with you, too. Of course I waited until the birthday was over. Didn’t want to ruin the surprise after all!

Lou Reads about Unexplained Mysteries

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Lou Reads podcast is not responsible for any demons you may invite into your lives by listening to this podcast. Any hauntings, spookings or phantasasmings that may occur post-listening are totally not my fault and are probably a coincidence…

Demon Captured in Photo! — How can you NOT see the demon in this photo?!?!

Ok, The Unexplained Mysteries Forum was an interesting place to read from. Why? Because there seem to be just as many rational people on the forum as there are kooks. So instead of the usual “Full Buy In” user who adamantly believes what most people are posting there seems to be a healthy amount of skepticism going on which made it fun to read, too.

As promised here are the haunted voice mails that are mentioned near the end of the podcast.

DID YOU SEE ME? This is the one where he claims that people when he wasn’t in the house himself saw an apparition. Then a voicemail was left saying “Did you see me?” SPOOKY!!! Or not…

There are too many to post on the blog but if you want to scare yourself bored please go ahead and listen to this nonsense that Para2011 posted on his Soundcloud page.

Thanks for listening! I hope you didn’t get too scared by the all the mysteries!

LOU READS 3rd ANNUAL HOLIDAY OFFER IS BACK!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Hey there guys. It’s that time again. If you’re looking for a stupid gift for someone (including your stupid self) do I have an offer for you! Once again I am offering to read something for you, yes YOU, for the low sum of $5 in paypal monies. Need a new voicemail for your smartphone? I can make it! Need a new recording on your outgoing answering machine? Tell me the number and how to make a remote recording (yes, you can do that. Find the manual!) and I’ll do it! Just want a sound file of me saying you’re a pretty fucking amazing person you can play for your co-workers when you feel like pissing them off? No problem. Just drop me an email at loureads AT THE GMAIL!

Here are some examples of recordings I’ve made in the past. Please note: I’ve gotten a lot better at audio production so the audio will sound better than these.

Upload MP3s using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck.

Lou Reads Penis Enlargement Advice from PEGym

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Look, I know this is a touchy subject… but have you checked your penis lately? Yes, I’m talking about measuring it and comparing it to other dudes. It’s looking pretty pathetic… I mean who couldn’t use another foot of cock-beef hanging out the front of their pants? I mean TWO FEET of dong-meat? It boggles the mind! Well, let me tell you about a website I found that will help you out…

Serious_Penis_Science — What are you waiting for? Lets Get STRETCHING!

So this episode is all about the lofty goal of penis enlargement. Hooray. I hope that you’ll all start Jelqing and Edging your way to super dongs in no time.

Enjoy the madness!

Upload MP3s using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck.

Lou Reads Hand Selected Penis Remedies

Lou Reads Tales of Best and Worst Break-Ups

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Everyone gets dumped. If you haven’t been dumped its either because you’re some kind of insecure jerk who always dumps people before they dump you or you’re some kind of unwanted gross person who no one wanted in the first place. WHY ARE YOU SO GROSS!? If you’re not one of those equally awful things then chances are you’ve been dumped. This episode of Lou Reads deals with true break-up stories. Sometimes its been a painless event and for the best. Other times its been a full on nightmare comprised of vengeance, pain and general hurting. Won’t you join me in marveling at the intricate dance between men and women as they end their relationships.

Sorry, no bonus content this episode. Next time, I swear…
please don’t break up with me!!!!

Lou Reads: Tales of Being Creepy from Ask Reddit

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

You asked for it and now you got it. I have finally ventured into the wilds of Reddit to search out something good to read! Thanks to the many suggestions of you loyal listeners I was able to bypass the one million imgur images submitted daily and found some great stuff. So in this inaugural Reddit Lou Reads we’ll be hearing the true tales of Redditors admitting their own creepy behaviors.

reddit-askreddit — The Post That Revealed 1000 Creeps

Images related to the podcast! Can you tell which story they are from?

I_love_you — Young Unrequited Love for a 45 Year Old

creepydude — There is no excuse for this...

Thanks to listener John Jackson for showing me the SA thread about Reddit to help me get started and find some good stuff!

Lou Reads: A Forum for Adults Who Love My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Hay Everypony! I don’t want to hear any neighsaying about this episode of Lou Reads. I really got my hooves dirty on this one. Sure its not about gross sex, removing your balls or teen vampires but for me there is something inherently creepy about adults who get so bananas for a cartoon about . Now, these people set up this nice new forum so they could escape from persecution at a less tolerant forum. Sadly someone told me about it and I decided to read all about it. Now, in the name of fairness I’m including an episode of the MLP:FiM in this post. See if you can resist the allure of the cuteness of… of… PONIES!

As you’ll find out in the podcast there are quite a few people who are crazy about this cartoon! And as promised I found a horrible post to read for you guys from one of the other forums. Warning: This story is really a downer on many levels. However it does involve in a very odd way. I don’t know if “Enjoy” is the right term… but its all I got. ENJOY!

Thanks for stopping by the blog! Make sure your rate the show on iTunes and tell everyone you know that they need to hear all about the stuff they didn’t want to know about. It builds character!

Lou Reads from the Forums of Eunuch Archive

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Hi boys and girls! If you’re like me, you hate your balls, or your cock, or both your cock and balls. Right? So what are we going to do about that? Well if you’re like the people on this forum you might put said private parts right up in this little beauty above. Not your style? Then maybe you’d like to dip your dick in some liquid nitrogen? Or perhaps something you come up with on your own innovative to remove your twig and berries! Exciting times for those who no longer want the parts they came with!

Won’t you please enjoy listening to Episode 67 of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! The Eunuch Archives. DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEO EMBED IN THE POST IF YOU FIND COCK REMOVAL UNSETTLING!

Hey! Want to know more about the great idea of removing your dong and coconuts? Consider getting some amazing Eunuch Items at Amazon!

Lou Reads Escort Reviews from Punternet

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Welcome to the wonderful world of prostitutes… I mean escorts… Finally someone made a website that has stepped up to these unlicensed sex menaces and had the guts to let Johns anonymously complain about their services.

terrible-prostitute — Ok, we can do it, but if the sex sucks I am going to complain on the internet!

I mean, how many of you out there have called an escort, had sex and then wished you had someone to complain to? Of course, in the past the fact that having sex for money is totally illegal has stood in the way of the TRUTH! NO LONGER! Okay, so this site has been around for at least a decade but still… these hookers had it coming! Well… truth be told the reviews are mostly positive but I didn’t read those. Why? Because complaining is so much more fun to listen to! Also, the positive reviews tend to be written like Penthouse Forum letters and reek of false advertising. How many Johns can really wax poetic about the dirty sex they just paid for? I guess check out punternet.com and find out! Thanks for listening!

BLOG ONLY BONUS TRACK!

Lou Does a Guest Spot on the FlopHouse Podcast

Hey there, Fellers. As I mentioned in the last episode of Lou Reads (See Previous Post) I sat in on my pal Dan’s movie related podcast, The Flop House Podcast.

We watched the not so great movie “KILLERS!” For those not familiar with the podcast we watch a movie that has already come and gone from the theaters and then talk about it. For extra bonus fun I talk about seeing Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark on Broadway and about what a train-wreck is was. SO if you get a chance, check out The Flop House Podcast: KILLERS. I predict you will be in a state of entertainment at some point in the podcast. If not… well maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so angry…

Don’t fret, though. I’m busy looking for new horrible stuff to read about for you. Perhaps I’ll be taking a break from the HYPER-WRETCHEDNESS of the last bunch. I’ll even see if I can go a podcast without talking about excretions! See you later!