Category: NSFW

Lou Reads from the Forums of DarkFetish.Net – Home of the Cannibal Cop and Friends

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I have to admit, I was getting ready to record something different this week. I was pretty content with my subject. Then something happened. I read a story about the police officer they were calling The Cannibal Cop. The story mentioned that he was on a forum where he and his fellow cannibalism fantasizers hung out and chatted about how awesome it would be to kill and eat people. Unfortunately for this cop his wife found his posts specifically talking about eating her and she called the cops. Luckily for us that story mentioned the forum he hung out at. Unfortunately for me I went there and read from it… for YOU!

Yup, Thats right... So the inference here is that this sad looking girl was kept as a slave, tortured to death and then had her vagina put in a jar as a trophy. Thats normal to think about, right? I mean the photo positioning is pretty hilarious but WTF.
Yup, Thats right… So the inference here is that this sad looking girl was kept as a slave, tortured to death and then had her vagina put in a jar as a trophy. Thats normal to think about, right? I mean the photo positioning is pretty hilarious but WTF.

To be fair this is only one of the many websites the cannibal cop went to but I’m sure you’ll agree this one is enough for now… Right? I’m not sure if enjoy is the right thing to say here… Good luck!

Lou Reads from Fist Forum. All Your Fisting Needs and More!

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The day is finally here! The day I do an episode that is entirely about fisting! I know you thought the day would never come but I finally worked up the courage to push past the tight ring of my resistance to this topic and punch fist my way to the fantastic forums at fistforum.com. If you’re thinking about getting into fisting this is definitely the place to go as you’ll soon see. And you will see… well… you’ll see A LOT of stretched orifices and fists… mainly…

Exactly like this except in your ass...
Fisting is exactly like this except the fist goes in your ass or vagina… you’re welcome.

Sooo…. yeah. Fisting… get ready to bear down and take it all deep in your ear holes. Whatever… ENJOY!

Lou Reads Extrasode from the Cum on Food Forums

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The year is almost over! Believe me, I cannot wait to put 2012 behind me. Sadly thats how I felt about 2011, too. I’ll be recording something tonight but before that happens I just wanted to drop off this extrasode gem from 2011.

Urine Sample
Oh, well, as long as its not cum in my drink I guess its okay…

I hope you enjoy it more than a glassful of urine a “friend” may be sneaking into your drinks.

Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the Forums of Bad Dragon

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Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas!

Hasbro had a big recall on this one…

So here we are at the big 100. *Shrug* I hope you enjoyed it! This forum is great because for such a silly product it has some really friendly and enthusiastic customers. I recall when Something Awful discovered Bad Dragon the owner joined SA to talk to people and actually was soliciting the forum members for dildo designs before being banned. Seemed nice enough. You know, for a guy who earns a living making fantasy dildos. Who am I to judge. Who says I am? I’m just reading here. Get off my case.

Oh by the way, here is the baby jesus dildo I mentioned in the epilogue. And here is the magic health tea. It really did help.

Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum

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Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more meth sex talk but this time around I’m exploring more of the tips, tricks & travails of the meth users landscape. And what bette place to do that than Drugs-Forum.

Looking for a real contrast in the “Faces of Meth” poster on this one. Yes, I know its an amazingly terrible image.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode and that it doesn’t make you want to try Crystal Meth. Because as glamorous as it is, I just don’t think you have what it takes to be that cool. Wait… You are totally cool enough! Go for it!

HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE! Consider these awesome Crystal Meth related Holiday Gifts!


Lou Reads: Bonus Content from Episode 73 – My Brother is my Baby Daddy

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Hey everyone! I just got back from PAX and wanted to give you guys yet another mini-update from the Extrasode archives. This story was cut out of Episode 73: The Forums of Female First for time reasons (I think). This is a lovely short reading about a woman who comes to the most logical conclusion to the problem of her husbands sterility.

to quote my original post

It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special?

Enjoy?

Bonus content. Here is a picture of me working at PAX!

Manning the Social Media station & Official Dragon & Baron Clock Caller

Lou Reads all About Foot Sniffing: a Minisode

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Hello, true believers. I just wanted to drop a minisode I’ve been sitting on for a while. This was a recording I did for a listeners birthday a while back and I figure now is the time to share. The reading selection was suggested by the birthday girls significant other. If that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is… Maybe I need my head examined… Its been a while so I figured it would be okay to share it with ya’ll. I hope you enjoy it.

Lou Reads about Men Who Love Dolls and the Dolls that Lay There.

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Hello and welcome back to Lou Reads. I assure you that I have missed you almost as much as you’ve missed me. So this weeks episode is pretty self-explanatory. There is a subculture of men & women who enjoy the company of dolls. I won’t pretend to know the psychology behind it. Some people like to play with dolls, some like to not feel alone and some people just want to fuck something that isn’t their hand and feel this is somehow better.

This doll has the same look on its face as anyone might have if they found it in your home. Or maybe it knows what you have in mind for tonight! Yuck!

A lot of people have asked me to read from The Doll Forum and I put it off for a while but I felt I’d finally give it a shot. There really is a massive wealth of readable material. I hope you enjoy what I found. It was fun to read.

If it was possible to be judged by dolls, these dolls would be judging you.

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Let me know how I’m doing with a comment in iTunes, Facebook or with the comment form below. Thanks!

Lou Reads from the forums of EnemaPlease.com

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Ohhh… that old familiar feeling. You know the one. The feeling you get when you fill up your colon with several gallons of soapy liquid and then you dance around to make sure the water is loosening all your stool. Right! I knew we were talking about the same thing.

Nurse Giving Enema
This Hotel Offers Very Odd Services... Some Wake-Up Call!

Now, I’m sure most of you out there are already giving yourself enemas on a daily basis so this will seem boring to you. However, for the uninitiated few I’m sure this will be an eye-opening adventure down a path less travelled. Join me, please, as I guide you through the delights of Enemaplease.com

BONUS: Here is the video I made in college about a guy killing people in a hospital. WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS REALLY DUMB!


Yes that is me with the cycling cap. The early 90’s were horrible.


Lou Reads Live – MP3 Version

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Hey guys. As you’ll hear on this episode of Lou Reads I had a series of unfortunate events last night & this morning. Lost over an hour of recording & then spilled coffee on all my computer stuff. To hold you over I hope you’ll enjoy this mp3 of the live show I just did. I’ll get right back to recording some stuff as soon as I can! Right now I need a new keyboard. I’m hoping that my mic & MBox Mini2 aren’t coffee soaked junk now. I couldn’t even log in because half the letters in my password weren’t working on the keyboard anymore. *frowny face emoticon*

In happier news the podcast as a new sponsor. SMOKEWIRE.COM is a online headshop that is offering listeners of the podcast 15% Off anything in the store thru June 20th, 2012. Just Use the code poca420 when you check out. It’s almost 420! If you don’t have a nice smoking piece then perhaps now is the time to get one!

Also a reminder that Adam & Eve are still offering Lou Reads listeners 50% Off the most expensive item in their cart when they check out using the code:LOUREADS. Its the same great offer. Three free adult DVDs, a Free Gift & Free Shipping plus that heavy discount on almost everything in the store!

Support Lou Reads and get yourself a nice bong & dildo combo in one fell swoop! Let me tell you, my mom is so proud of that sentence…

Have a great rest of your day, folks!


USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!