NSFW – Page 3 – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads ep130 – Vore Discussions from Eka’s Portal

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So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only am I a mind reader but I’m also a vore forum reader. And as you may have guessed, that will be this episode’s subject.

What's that mom? Oh, I'm just talking to my online friends. NO DON'T COME IN! — What’s that mom? Oh, I’m just talking to my online friends. NO DON’T COME IN!

Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…

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Lou Reads from the pages of My Little Waifu

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How do you cope with your day to day struggles? Do you call your mom to vent or maybe see a psychiatrist? Or do instead slowly become convinced you are having a relationship with a fictional character? That is what is happening on the pages of the forum known as My Little Waifu. I won’t even try to explain what I read this time around. It doesn’t make any sense and explaining it requires navigating several different strata of super nerdy nonsense. Just listen… It’s still won’t make any sense but whatever.

Can't we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies? — Can’t we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies?

Terms used in this episode that may require explanation:

1) Waifu
2) Brony
3) Weeabo
4) Clop
5) Ship

And many more…. Please enjoy the podcast & this wonderful selection of Japanese body pillows for you to consider marrying in the future.

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Lou Reads ep125 – Porn Fan Chats from Brazzers Forum

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Look, I love porn. I am a man. I have a sad addiction to watching people who are better at sex than me go at it for unrealistic lengths of time. I love to be reminded of the average to subaverageness of my man parts and that my testicles don’t contain massive amounts of semen (aka pina colada mix). Thats why I go the forums at BrazzerForum.com to complain and compliment my favorite porn stars! Or, I would if I was one of the people who are actually registered on there.

This is how I imagine everyone is listening to this episode of the podcast.

Sadly, I am not so obsessed with the world of pornography to know who the people I read about were (for the most part.) Luckily for us the guys and gals who do hang out at Brazzers Forum feel perfectly at home chatting about their favorite porn moments. I do admire the actors availability to the people posting there. It’s kind of sweet thinking about a porn star reading a fans email about how awesome he is at fucking and the porn star writing back,Â Â “Aw shucks. Thanks little guy. I’m glad I made your day. Keep jerkin’ it to the video of my strangely massive dong. Yours truely, XXX INSERT NAME HERE XXX.”

Enjoy the show!

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Lou Reads Revisits the Poz Experience at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone

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This guy is probably in the Breeding Zone Hall of Fame. Way to go, dude.

This podcast is going to make you laugh and probably make you a little uncomfortable. Or it might just make you feel sad. It’s unlikely to make you feel horny… unless you actually hang out at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone (Do I have to say it’s NSFW?). Anyway, Its been almost 4 years since I read from The Breeding Zone and thank the Lord, the posters there have not gotten any less graphically horrible about what they are into/doing. As always with topics beyond the pale, if it helps you sleep at night, I’ll allow you to reserve the right to believe the more crazy things are pure fiction. But… yeah… ENJOY?

Oh yeah, I’d like to thank The Breeding Zone for always wishing me a happy birthday!

What a bunch of swell, urine drinking, married guy poz'ing dudes. — What a bunch of swell, urine drinking, married guy poz’ing dudes.

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Lou Reads – Anonymous Confessions from 2005

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Jeez, kid. Thats all you did? Spice up your life a little! Oh, wait... yeah, that's fucked up. — Jeez, kid. Thats all you did? Spice up your life a little! Oh, wait… yeah, that’s fucked up.

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all!

On and by the way….

HOLY FIVE YEARS, BATMAN!

Lou Reads ep118: Tales of Anal Destruction from FetLife.com

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Hey, I’m talking to you! If would you take that 2 liter bottle of soda out of your ass once in a while maybe you could pay attention to me when I tell you that I just read from the highly disturbing pages of Fetlife.com again. What did I read? Well, it just so happens that I read from a couple of groups who are dedicated to severe ass stretching. So severe, in fact, that I didn’t even feel like I could find an image that would do it justice or that I could stomach… THAT BAD! Ok one image.

CROM LAUGHS AT YOUR PUNY ANAL TRAINING TOYS! Seriously, these are like a q-tip to these peoples asses... — CROM LAUGHS AT YOUR PUNY ANAL TRAINING TOYS!

Anyway, please enjoy this episode if you can. It’s full of some pretty intensely crazy… stuff. Thanks for listening!

Lou Reads Stories of Hooking Up with Celebrities from Groupies (from AskReddit)

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I have never had sex with a famous person but these people (claim to) have… The closest I think I got was harassing Siouxsie Sioux at a bar once. Wait, there was never any chance of me having sex with her. I was just bugging her.

People like to have sex because it fun. But sex with a famous person is so much better, right? Well, the people in these stories proudly claim to have been with famous people, in a biblical way. Or at least they claim to know a person who knows a person…. Well, all that matters is they shared stories. You can choose to believe them or not. I believe everything I read about John Mayer. Enjoy.

Lou Reads ep115: True Stories of Emergency Medical Service Workers

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Hey, next time your pondering taking that razor blade swallowing bet your friends dared you to do, or you’re about to impale yourself with a giant dildo while on your Lil’ Rascal Scooter, take a moment to think of the men and women who work in the local emergency medical services world. Is your stupidity going to make them have to come over to your house and save your stupid ass? Probably… And then guess what! The story of how they had to come and save you is going to end up on the internet! Yup!

I like to imagine this is an emergency related to the the circus... Tsk tsk Mr. Barnum. — I like to imagine this is an emergency related to the the circus… Tsk tsk Mr. Barnum.

This episode is chok’ful of true stories related by the EMS workers of the Something Awful forums. I think that speaks enough for itself. I hope you enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Lou

Lou Reads Ladyboy Pattay Forum

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Who hasn’t been intrigued by the mysteries of the Third Sex. Of course I’m talking about those mysterious, curvy women whose panties conceal a hidden wang. Oh the allure of the being with a woman whose big old shlong you go down on and have enter you. Why wouldn’t everyone prefer that? What’s that you say? Oh, hardly anyone is into this? Huh.. well go figure….

These dudes will probably fuck you... If you're into that kind of thing... — These dudes will probably fuck you… If you’re into that kind of thing…

So this episode I went to the forums of the Pattaya Ladyboys Forum. It’s a place where men who love woMEN from all of the globe get together to talk about their unusual obsession. I’ll admit that in reading this forum I saw A LOT of naked ladyboys. You know what? Some of them really look like chicks until your eyes wander low enough to see their big old dongs. If you are into that… I guess I’m glad there is a place for you go and talk to other weirds about it. No judgements… (weird).

Lou Reads from the Forums of Dick Flash

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Hey, you! Check this out! Nope. Lower… lower… yup! Thats my self-esteem! Oh you thought I was trying to show you my dick? Well, since its out you might as well look at it, too. Feel free to not be impressed.

PLEASE RECOGNIZE ME AS A SEXUAL BEING!!!

Ok, so this is a forum where people who are titillated by exposing their junk to unwitting people. Is it sad? Yeah. Are they hurting anyone with their surprise dong exposures? Not physically… but mentally, probably. Well, whatever you think about these unwanted dong viewings this forum serves as a place for guys (and according to the site, girls) to get together and share tips & tricks on how to trick people into seeing their tips… get it? Oh boy, I am way to proud of that joke… Anyway, without further ado, won’t you please enjoy episode 108 of Lou Reads the Internet for you!