Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!
Giving Voice to the Things You Didn't Want to Hear About
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Have we no decency?
No, not at my local movie theater, anyway. I go to this big theater in NYC and its a horrorshow. Imagine how delighted I was to find a large repository of pretty funny and, quite honestly, pretty racist comments about the place on Yelp. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to me read the angry rantings of the patrons of the Court Street 12. Somehow that place is still always packed! Sigh…
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Howdy folks. I meant to come to Bluelight.ru to read trip reports but I got distracted by this gem of a confessional thread entitled The Worst Thing You Have Ever Done. I was so taken with its stories that I had to share.
Now, you may find it odd that some people considered these events to be the worst things they have ever done. Especially considering that this is posted in a drug use forum. I mean, someone of them are just kids being kids. On the other hand some of these stories are fucked up! Such is the internet. People just gotta share and for that I thank them. Bless your stereotypically described Cheetos-stained fingers.
UNRELATED BONUS AUDIO.
A friend-of-a-fan commissioned this reading for said fan’s birthday. It was a fun little read and I thought I’d share it with you, too. Of course I waited until the birthday was over. Didn’t want to ruin the surprise after all!
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Hey guys. As you’ll hear on this episode of Lou Reads I had a series of unfortunate events last night & this morning. Lost over an hour of recording & then spilled coffee on all my computer stuff. To hold you over I hope you’ll enjoy this mp3 of the live show I just did. I’ll get right back to recording some stuff as soon as I can! Right now I need a new keyboard. I’m hoping that my mic & MBox Mini2 aren’t coffee soaked junk now. I couldn’t even log in because half the letters in my password weren’t working on the keyboard anymore. *frowny face emoticon*
In happier news the podcast as a new sponsor. SMOKEWIRE.COM is a online headshop that is offering listeners of the podcast 15% Off anything in the store thru June 20th, 2012. Just Use the code poca420 when you check out. It’s almost 420! If you don’t have a nice smoking piece then perhaps now is the time to get one!
Also a reminder that Adam & Eve are still offering Lou Reads listeners 50% Off the most expensive item in their cart when they check out using the code:LOUREADS. Its the same great offer. Three free adult DVDs, a Free Gift & Free Shipping plus that heavy discount on almost everything in the store!
Support Lou Reads and get yourself a nice bong & dildo combo in one fell swoop! Let me tell you, my mom is so proud of that sentence…
Have a great rest of your day, folks!
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I know this episode will seem short but let me tell you that recording it felt like it took forever. Not sure why. Anyway, this time around I’m reading peoples tales of what they consider to be Soul Crushing times in their lives. Some of these stories you’ll probably say, “Seriously? That crushed you? Get a life!” but I’ll bet some of them make you go, “Ugh… how awful…” Unless you are an emotionless automaton… You aren’t… are you?
To see the original thread on the Something Awful forums please go here: Cuts Like a Knife: Soul-Crushing Things People Have Said To You
I apologize in advance for the incredibly annoying fuzzed out sound in this episode. Once again my recording was plagued with tech problems. My brand new Yeti Pro mic by Blue Microphones appears to have shit the bed and made this episodes fuzzed out sound. So it looks like I’ll be sending it back… Really a bummer. I hope it isn’t too hard to listen to… I’m actually really bummed about it. I won’t say it was soul crushing moment though. That’s a bit much.
Hi everybody!
As you may remember over the holidays I offered to record things for you, the fans. In the past people have asked for voicemail or answering machine messages and I’ve been happy to record them. This last holiday season I did a lot of great recordings for people. One request, however, stood out from the rest. A gentleman contacted me about reading some stories for his wife. He and his wife are both big fans of the podcast so he thought it would be great for me to record the stories he would normally make up for his wife before she went to bed. The stories revolve around his wife’s beloved cats, Mr. Mo Mo & Dr. Norman P Nibbles. In all he had me read 5-6 stories about the wacky antics of the furry duo. I asked him if I could share them with the rest of the Lou Reads fans and he said yes! The recordings, as you might imagine, were a total surprise on Christmas Day. They were apparently also a big hit! Hooray! A Christmas Miracle!!!
So, since I just lost a ton of my last recording to yet another crash, I thought I’d share just one of the tales of Mr. Mo Mo & Dr. Norman with you fine folks. So without further ado I present:
The Time Dr. Normal P. Nibbles Pimped out Mr. Mo Mo.
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Meanwhile I’m recording again tonight. When you listen to the next episode keep in mind that I had to re-read a bunch of this junk. Bleh.
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Waiting tables… sucks. I’ve never done it but I have friends and loved ones who have made the food industry their careers. I’m sure if you’ve worked in a restaurant you’ll relate to these true submitted tales from the people who take your order every day. These particular tales come from the website called
I didn’t mean for this episode to get totally taken over by this whole race issue but wow! There is a lot of comments on this topic. I barely scratched the surface!
EXTRASODE! Originally I was going to read from this Pissed Off Waiters thread from Tribe.net but it was basically dead. I did managed to find some fun stuff to read from it. ENJOY!
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Finally, the new Magnets have shipped! Order now!!!
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Guys…. I’m sorry… have something to confess… One time…
Well, you probably get the idea of this episode. It’s all kinds of confessions. I was originally going to split the episode between two different confession sites but as it turned out, one was enough. Real stories? People wasting time on the intertubes? I read. You decide.
As promised here is this episodes EXTRASODE: HOW THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE SAVED MY SOUL BUT ALSO MADE ME WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH TWO FORTY YEAR OLDS.
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Okay, my debt is paid. Back to the beach. I am on vacation after all…
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Everyone gets dumped. If you haven’t been dumped its either because you’re some kind of insecure jerk who always dumps people before they dump you or you’re some kind of unwanted gross person who no one wanted in the first place. WHY ARE YOU SO GROSS!? If you’re not one of those equally awful things then chances are you’ve been dumped. This episode of Lou Reads deals with true break-up stories. Sometimes its been a painless event and for the best. Other times its been a full on nightmare comprised of vengeance, pain and general hurting. Won’t you join me in marveling at the intricate dance between men and women as they end their relationships.
Sorry, no bonus content this episode. Next time, I swear…
please don’t break up with me!!!!
Early on in Lou Reads history I attempted making “Enhanced” podcasts in GarageBand. That basically means adding photos to the audio file. That way people who are listening and staring at their iPods or whatever can see something, too! Well I gave up on it because it had to be an m4a file instead of mp3 and I figured that might cause some problems. Anyway, I found the old ones and realized that I could just export them as a Quicktime and toss them up on YouTube. So thats what I did. Hooray.
Lou Reads from the PeeSearch Forums.
Lou Reads Salvia Trip Reports.
In other news it looks like Lou Reads will be appearing on RedditRadio’s talk channel in the very near future. Due to that I’ll be needing to change the intro music. Try not to be too jarred by the music change!
New, not-old-episode-made-into-a-video, coming up soon!
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You asked for it and now you got it. I have finally ventured into the wilds of Reddit to search out something good to read! Thanks to the many suggestions of you loyal listeners I was able to bypass the one million imgur images submitted daily and found some great stuff. So in this inaugural Reddit Lou Reads we’ll be hearing the true tales of Redditors admitting their own creepy behaviors.
Images related to the podcast! Can you tell which story they are from?
Thanks to listener John Jackson for showing me the SA thread about Reddit to help me get started and find some good stuff!