I randomly look at my YouTube channels now and again just to see if anyone has commented or liked anything. I hardly post these days except for the occasional Shoe Gaze band I’m seeing out or weird nonsense video I am sometimes inspired to make.
The other day I saw that familiar red bell indicating that someone has liked or commented. When I checked it, I was completely caught off guard by the post that a former Lou Reads the Internet for You listener left for me. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing it, because it was kind of a fun and special reminder that even though when you’re making content at my level, it still gets out, and if you’re lucky, it finds an audience. Anyway, here is the comment that was posted on my YouTube channel on a completely unrelated video to the podcast.
TL’DR: Lou Reads inspired one lone fan to delve into the world of psychopharmacopeia and make it their career…
Lou I know this is on a completely unrelated video and totally completely random overall, but I want you to be able to at least get a taste of how the things you’ve done in your life have weird knock on effects that can completely shape other people’s. I listened to Lou Reads the Internet all throughout high school (2013-2017), it taught me a lot of things I wish I didn’t know and I still think of it from time to time. I was a loyal listener, but I hate to tell you I never did leave an iTunes review. Anyways, when I was 16 I listened to one of your episodes reading bluelight, erowid or some old school drug forum and at some point 1P-LSD was mentioned, in the outro you said you had some mild interest in trying it. When you said that, something in me clicked about how weird it was that something like that could just be bought. So I started looking into it myself. Not even interested in taking it, just to understand what it even did and how it was possible that it was something legal. Reading about it just confused me more and so I kept reading, reddit threads, forum posts, trip reports, there would be comparisons to other psychedelics and so I’d read about those too. I’d read and read, eventually branching out to any psychoactive I learned of, deathly and obsessively interested in all aspects. History, culture, use, abuse, preparations, whatever I was totally hooked. And of course eventually I indulged which only served to make this obsession consume my life, but not in the way that you might expect at this point in a story about this topic. Actually being first exposed to these things through the stories on the podcast made me genuinely cautious which meant I only ever started that honeymoon of experimentation after feeling I could do it safely. And I did (thankfully). These years of obsessive reading and research made me as close as you can be to educated on this topic and knowledgeable in the world of psychoactive drugs to the point of an expertise. To the point that I taught myself chemistry. At 27 I am a synthetic chemist doing research into the synthesis and production of new materials needed to make these same types of drugs (and other medicines too, but that’s not as fun to say), literally developing new methods that produce molecules never made before. My work has made it possible to make whole new groups of serotonin receptor agonists sold as chemicals not intended for human consumption of questionable purity from China. Groups of chemicals that wouldn’t be possible for people like the ones that wrote about research chemicals on that forum to ever take if you never read what they said. I’ve done very well for myself in this field and I’ve always been told that it’s due to my passion for the subject shining through. And it’s true I love chemistry. But chemistry is something I only picked up because a borderline autistic fixation with drugs necessitates it after a few years. That fixation has driven me, shaped my entire adult life, gave me my career, made me stay up late studying, and lets me do the work I love. That fixation and love all started with one old goon reading people say stupid things on the internet that I just so happened to hear as a teenager. I’m not saying you made me who I am now because you didn’t. But I am telling you that if that podcast was never made I never would have been exposed to or became interested in this topic I have somehow managed to make my life based around. Not to mention that even if eventually I had dabbled into taking substances for fun anyways, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been done nearly as safely, with as much discretion, or with the knowledge base I had in this timeline. That phenazepam episode scared me. I’m not even really trying to thank you here, I’m pretty acutely aware I put in the work because it was not at all easy. But I do want you to know that stuff you have done in your life has had a tremendous impact on at least my life, even if it was in a weird way. But that probably means it at least did a little something for some other people too. I don’t know what that means to you, but I think it should make you smile. Why? Well why not?
Literally not what I was expecting to find when I went on the internet that day. And yes, it did make me smile. Thanks to everyone who listened and continues to be horribly affected by the forbidden knowledge that was shared. And thanks to this random stranger for sharing the anecdote. 😀
Here is the video, if you want to see a cool shoe gaze band with an unrelated comment under it.
