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Hey, you probably like to go to Six Flags now and then. Who doesn’t? Well no matter how hard you try to enjoy yourself at one of those places the fact of the matter is that you’re going to run into a substrata of human that you don’t normally encounter. These are the failures of humanity. People who just suck in an almost unfathomable way. Whether they are cutting the lines, talking shit about a pretty sunset or just being gross, dumb, ugly people fucking up your experience with their subhuman antics!…. Ahem… I seem to have gotten a little beyond the scope of this podcast. Anyway, these are a just a few of the stories included in the Something Awful comedy goldmine thread entitled “Failures of humanity witnessed at amusement parks”
Tales of Failures of Humanity at Amusement Parks
Worst water park I’ve ever been to was one in Minnesota called Wild Mountain. They had this large open top raft ride that had multiple levels where you’d drop and than float for a minute than drop again. The ride itself was ok but the design was terrible. On the bottom of the slide it had a textured surface so if you fell out you could walk and catch up to your raft. The problem was the force of the water is so great that it spins the raft around so you go backwards into the leveled pool area where the current is different. I ended up getting shot down at a tremendous speed and the raft flipped me over so my head nailed the flooring and got gashed to shit. The current ended up trapping me so my friend had to yank me up. Fucking blood was all over the place and the dumb bitch at the checkpoint in front of where this happened didn’t do anything. What if I had AIDS or some shit. She didn’t know that but I guess she didn’t care. Tough luck for the elementary school kid coming down the slide behind me. Worst park ever.
As a scientist, my guess is all the urine in the water would neutralize the AIDS blood.