Category: True Stories

Lou Reads: Grass City Forums

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This week I suggest you light up a big phat spliff and grab a big old handful of shrooms and melt into your couch as you listen to the fascinating tales of REAL LIFE POT SMOKERS! Yes, I decided to take a walk on the lighter side this week. Sometimes you gotta take a break from all the pedophiles and cuckolded, ruined men and read real true stories from people who just like to get a simple high. I just want you to know the only drug I was on during these recording was procrastination and sleep deprivation. In the future maybe I will use some kind of foreign substance to make the podcast recording more entertaining for myself. Then again I have a hard enough time reading a lot of this stuff without laughing already…. So maybe just Nitrous Oxide?

LOU READS: Grass City Forums. 420 Bro! Haw haw! What?

Lou Reads: Your Most Embarrassing Moment

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Hello, my internet friends. We are friends aren’t we. Oh… I see… I suppose I overstepped my boundaries. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again. Lets continue in a business-like manner, shall we. I’m glad you’re being big about this…

This week I am reading to you from a Something Awful thread entitled “Your Most Embarrassing Moment.” In it people share their lowest moments. These moments are often caused by the story teller being a big dummy and paying the price. As an added bonus this week I have included an unedited version of the carrot story from this podcast. I hope it will let you see that I really do have a hard time reading these things! Enjoy!

Mini Lou Reads: The Commercial I Did

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Hello, friends. This is a commercial I did a scratch VO for. That means I worked at a place and they asked me to record a track for timing. In theory later they’d hire someone to do the “Professional” voice over and pay that person a lot of money to do so. Well they decided to just air what I made and not pay me anything. I tried to get my boss to ask them for money but he didn’t want to rock the boat with the client. The spot ran every morning on the Today Show for like 2 weeks. Then suddenly it started popping up with someone else’s voice track. Then it was gone.

JAMES PATTERSON OWES ME MONEY!

Lou Reads about Amusement Park Revulsion

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Hey, you probably like to go to Six Flags now and then. Who doesn’t? Well no matter how hard you try to enjoy yourself at one of those places the fact of the matter is that you’re going to run into a substrata of human that you don’t normally encounter. These are the failures of humanity. People who just suck in an almost unfathomable way. Whether they are cutting the lines, talking shit about a pretty sunset or just being gross, dumb, ugly people fucking up your experience with their subhuman antics!…. Ahem… I seem to have gotten a little beyond the scope of this podcast. Anyway, these are a just a few of the stories included in the Something Awful comedy goldmine thread entitled “Failures of humanity witnessed at amusement parks”

Tales of Failures of Humanity at Amusement Parks


Lou Reads: E/N Forums with Remix

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Howdy! How’ve you been? Me? Oh, I can’t complain I reckon. Since we last spoke I’ve been recording some quick one-off recordings from the Something Awful forums for a thread I was participating. We were looking for the best E/N (Everything / Nothing) threads and recording them for the hell of it. I made one from a thread called “Why do you feel shitty?” Within an hour another SA Goon had remixed what I did with a crazy Trent Reznor style beat. For all I know it may actually be Reznor. I’ve included both versions here. Please give’m both a listen. The remix is pretty cool!

WHY DO YOU FEEL SHITTY

Lou Reads about Bad Restaurant Experiences

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Chances are if you’ve eaten out at a restaurant you have had an awesome meal at least once. The kind of meal where everything comes together. Really delicious and not oversized appiteazer, savory main course and a lovely desert that you can share with your beloved. Of course this meal also ends in hot sex. But we all know that never happens… to anyone. Please don’t shatter my fantasy that this doesn’t happen… Anyway, these people were nice enough to share their more realistic tales of negative experiences at the local grub hole and I was nice enough to read it for you. So please enjoy!

Bad Restaurant Experiences