Funny Stories – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads ep 183 – The Best of Craigslist –

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Well, something happened last time and the audio file disappeared from the post… ANYWAY, Craigslist is an anomaly on the internet. While some minor tweaking and tinkering has gone on, it remains basically the same ugly-but-useful website that was it was when it first appeared in 1995. Over the years someone, I don’t know who, has been selecting certain posts to be classified as BEST OF CRAIGSLIST.Â So you can imagine that after 24 years there have been a lot of qualifying posts!

This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.

Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!

Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!

Lou Reads 182 – Deep in the Pits of Armpit-Fetish.com

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Greetings, friends and those interested in the more obscure parts of the internet. This months episode is a visit to the fabulously spam-destroyed pages of Artpit-Fetish.com. This site was once the home of a small number of folks that really liked armpits more than most people (if people think about armpits at all.) Now, sadly, the forums are almost 99% spambots with the occasional lonely armpit lover trying to call out in the void…

According to some guy in this episode, the following video sparked a life long obsession about masturbating to men’s armpits. See if you can spot any particularly erotic pits! Specifically, Kenny Chesney’s wild underarm action is what drove the gentleman in question wild. Please, try to control your own feverish self-pleasure urges when watching it!

Lou Reads episode 178 – The Joys of Smoking Spice and K2 from Erowid!

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Hey, I know that drug laws are lame and whatever, but what if I told you that you could get super high… legally! What if I told you that there was this drug that was pretty much like marijuana but was totally legal. What if I told you that you’ll have no idea what the Hell you’re smoking because the chemicals keep changing to stay ahead of the drug laws. And what if I told you that it used to be a relatively well known synthetic cannabinoid 10 years ago but was now a complete crap shoot of junk being made in clandestine Chinese laboratories! What if I told you that no matter how you warn people they will keep smoking this quasi-legal weed because it’s really easy to buy despite the fact that it can totally make you lose your shit! Alright, then! Well, take a hit of this super sweet incense blend, homie! Let’s start puking!

In this episode I’ll be reading from the Erowid experience vaults. These are anecdotal stories of drug use connected to Erowid’s super informational database about almost every drug. If you’re ever considering doing an illicit or even prescribed drug consider going to Erowid and checking out what it has to say about the compound before you try it. Especially if the drug has a potential for abuse! You’ll be glad you did!

Also, please encourage the legalization of marijuana globally because it should be easier to buy than this Spice garbage… If you are actually thinking about buying K2/Spice/Whatever other name this crap goes by please watch these videos. This drug can only be enjoyed in small amounts but should probably be avoided at all costs. I mean, unless you like screaming in the street, naked. Then go ahead.

Also, if you enjoy drug trips and safe access to a wealth of drug info, consider supporting EROWID!

Lou Reads ep176 – Dark Secrets Shared from Reddit

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What’s that now? You want me to share some of my darkest secrets with the internet? Well, gee… I mean, I’ve seen and done some terrible things in my life but I’m not sure I want to post them on THE INTERNET… Oh, you think I should make a throwaway account in order to freely share the darkest of the dark? Well… Okay!

This is a direct reference to this episode. It is gross. Enjoy.

This episode of Lou Reads is your basic confessions post. Always a good time to hear what people feel are the dark secrets in their lives. Of course, some of these secrets are truly awful and as I mention at the end of the episode if you’re considering killing yourself please consider call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re just some weird guy who like’s masturbating at work or once considered boning your cousin then just keep on being yourself, you weirdo.

Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS!

Lou Reads ep 169 – The Human Santapede – Part 1

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Happy holidays! It’s taken forever but just two days ago I did a stream of myself reading from The Human Santapede on Twitch. I made it all the way to chapter 16 before I tapped out. So please enjoy this stupid reading I did! I just finished recording the second half of the book tonight so look for that in 2018!

Just a warning, this is very long! It’s very stupid but I enjoyed reading it over the two days. You can watch the live reading here if you want to watch it with all my fuck ups & asides.

Watch Alternate Side Talking with King Lou from loureads on www.twitch.tv

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Lou Reads ep168 More Trip Reports from the Forums of Bluelight.Org

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Hey everyone, sorry this episode took so long. I’ve been too busy plugging all these Chinese research chems day & night to record. And while I am high as a kite these drugs appear to have removed my ability to read & write (I’m dictating this and hoping it’s carrot cake, rivets!). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode from the Trip Report forum of BlueLight.org

via GIPHY

For those of you in the USA, I hope that this Thanksgiving you make some well thought out decisions regarding your drug use around your family. Maybe try 4 less hits of acid before you sit down for dinner. Or maybe consider holding off on chasing the dragon before you go pick up grandma at the senior center. You know, just for the holidays…

Lou Reads ep161: Tales of Stupidity in Airplanes

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Podcast Episode 161 with service from your listening device to your ears. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in your ears for approximately 39 minutes. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all personal baggage underneath your seat or in your head compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for pod-off. In fact, don’t even recline at all because it’s only like a 2 inch recline and it isn’t worth the annoyance to the person behind you. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, except laptops and cell phones or whatever you’re going to listen to this on. Smoking is bad for you but I understand if you need it for addiction purpose for the duration of the podcast. Thank you for choosing Lou Reads Airlines. Enjoy your flight.

You better not ask me to carry your piss ANYWHERE!

After the traumatic response to last month’s episode I decided to go with a little palette cleanser. Simple stories of crazy stuff happening on planes from the r/AskReddit subreddit. I hope you enjoy it!

Lou Reads ep158 Conspiracy Madness from the Let’s Roll Forums

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This podcast is an obvious tool of the MSM (mainstream media) to help perpetrate a fraud on the people of the Earth. I mean, you can hear that the “human” who is reading these posts is clearly either an A.I. approximation of a human designed to trick normals or an MK-Ultra brainwashed dupe. I feel sorry for the sheeple who listen to this and come out believing that contrails aren’t poisoning the earth for real or that the Boston Marathon bombing was real and not a big hoax. All I can say is, if someone comes for my guns… I’ll be sad… But at least then I’ll be right, for once!

I know a guy who said he knows a guy who knows Alex Jones and he said Alex Jones never said this. So who said it? Obviously the Mossad!

Hey, folks. This month I’m reading from the Let’s Roll Forums. Obviously, that is a reference to the words of the people who fought back against the hijackers on 9/11 and not a reference to them loving Katamari Damacy. The Let’s Roll Forums are a one-stop-shop for all your crockpot conspiracy theories. From 9/11 to Sandy Hook and beyond. No tragedy is so real that it’s above not being real at all. And just like that sentence, none of it makes sense. So, if you like to get worked up into a lather about stuff then this is the place for you! Won’t you please enjoy listening to the heartfelt weirdness of the Let’s Roll Forums.

Lou Reads ep153 – Juggalo Discussions from Faygoluvers.net

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What up, fam? WHOOP WHOOP! I got mad love my for ninjas! Or rather that is what I might say if I were a Juggalo. I am not but the people at the forums of FaygoLuvers.net most certainly are. Join me as I read a bunch of random threads of Juggalos and Juggalettes sharing their opinions on a myriad bunch of topics and marvel as how often they get political!

If you’re confused about what I’m talking about when I talk about Juggalos then I recommend that you watch the video below. It is great.

American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Don’t forget to register to vote!

Lou Reads episode 150 – Tales of Sibling Injuries

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Ok, I admit I meant to push you off that cliff but I really didn’t mean for you to get THAT hurt. I guess in hindsight it should have been more obvious that a 300 foot drop may have resulted in multiple contusions. Again, my bad. But look at it this way. In 30 years, if you pull through, we are going to laugh & laugh. You might even get a fun nickname like “Old Falling Jim” and I might get called something like “Pusherman.” We don’t have to go with those ideas but, you know, just think about it. Ok, visiting hours are over so I’ll catch you later. Whatever you do, don’t die… Mom would be hella pissed at me if you do. Ok, later, little bro!

THIS IS A FUN GAME WE ARE PLAYING! SAY IT!

I don’t know if this is a good representation of the kind of posting that happens at the Fark.com forums but it is as close as I’m going to get for the time being. This episode is a collection of mostly fun stories of kids getting injured by or injuring their siblings. If you have a brother or sister (however they present their gender today) you’ll most likely have at least a few similar stories in your mental roladex. I’m sure my brother could make his own podcast about what a complete asshole I was to him growing up. Sigh… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this break from the wretchedness of the episodes of the recent past. I know I needed a break from the awfulness! Next month I’ll be back to the horrors. Until then, enjoy the show!