Depressing – Page 2 – Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Lou Reads posts from Hiccup Forum

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Oh boy, did I see someone with a case today! She was walking down the street and I could see her hiccuping and grabbing at her throat. It was so hot! Then I realized she was actually choking on some food that went down the wrong pipe. That was kind of disappointing so I just think about the part where I didn’t know she was struggling to breath to get turned on. Pretty hot, right!?

So hot until I realized she was actually choking to death.

So, this months episode is a trip to the pages of Hiccup Forum. As you might have guessed this is forum is exclusively for people who are turned or somehow activated when they see or hear hiccups. There are obvious parallels to the folks from the Sneeze Fetish Forum due to the specific nature of their interest in highly specific body spasms. However, there doesn’t seem to be any crossover. Please enjoy this exploration of the world of folks who get their jollies when a spasm contracts the diaphragm, a large sheet of muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity, causing an intake of breath that is suddenly stopped by the closure of the vocal cords (glottis). HOT!

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Lou Reads ep165 – I Put a Love Spell on YOU! Because You’re Mine! Thanks, Ashra.Net

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So… I just wanted you to know that when we broke up I kind of went a little crazy. I was pretty upset and I decided that since we’re soulmates and fated to be together I would speed up our eventual reconciliation by paying real money for a love spell to bring you back to me. I also paid for spell to make your new relationships not work. See, by making sure you couldn’t find happiness with another person it totally made you come back to me in a completely natural way!

So this month’s episode is a reading from the forums of Ashra.net. I was surprised to find that a single spell-caster had her own fairly active forum dedicated almost 100% to discussion about her and how great she is. I was also surprised to discover how many folks out there are willing to spend money on love spells. It’s been a while since I visited the forums of Lucky Mojo and had kind of forgotten about this world of sad people who believe in spells affecting their romantic targets. I mean… they don’t really work… right? Anyway, get ready to hear a lot of praise for this lady! Enjoy.

Lou Reads ep163 – Men Come First in the SubReddit of The Red Pill

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So, here we are once again. Why do I keep coming back to the world of Men’s Rights & Pick Up Artists? Is it because their worldview, which they seem to insist is right by sheer will, is so incredibly negative and yet self-assured that it boggles the mind. I’m sure these guys would see me as a blue-pill, cuck-dupe and by their definitions they’d be right. Sure, I let guys fuck my wife while I cry in the corner. But, that’s my business.

This seems like it probably happens all the time. Worthy of a graphic for sure.

The Red Pill, as it turns out is yet another Men Going Their Own Way, man-centric self-improvement-movement that is also supposedly full of ways to trick women into sleeping with dudes. Does it work? You tell me! The scene certainly seems to alway be full of guys who are getting laid and living out their dreams in every way possible. It’s almost like they can’t lose. Like… Never losing. Almost impossibly so… Whatever, best of luck to them! I’ll be over here in the corner waiting for my wife to finish all this cuckolding stuff.

I hope you enjoy listening to this reading from Reddit’s The Red Pill subreddit!

Lou Reads ep160: The Scabby Forums of Skin Pick

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Oh man, I can feel it. It’s almost there! Just a few more squeezes and I’ll get my reward. A reward of oil, dirt & bacteria. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get some pus! Maybe some of those nice blackhead rods that come out on a Biore strip. I just wish I all this blood would stop getting in the way of the squeezing!

This month’s episode of Lou Reads is a visit to the Forums of Skin Pick. Skin Pick is an online resource and community, for people who suffer from Compulsive Skin Picking. They also offer services to help you stop messing with your skin. I didn’t explore the services they sell but I did discover the uncomfortable world of those among us who just can’t leave their bodies alone. Do you think you have parasites in your skin? Are you convinced that your scabs are infested with foreign weirdness? Eat skin you’re peeling off your feet? Well, it sounds like you need a doctor. In the meantime you have Skin Pick.

Whether it’s absent minded picking at your face, belly button or feet… cut it out. It’s clearly a symptom of a disorder you should seek help for. Don’t eat your foot skin. Talk to a therapist. Tough love!

Lou Reads Ep159 – The Sissy Babies of Sissy Kiss

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Hewoe. I’m a witty, bitty baby. Won’t you put a bwutt pwug in my bum bum? Fank-oo berry much. Me wuv oo…

Hey Dad, where are the keys to the… Oh… I see you’re busy… I’ll.. uhh. ask mom…

Hey Mom, Dad is doing he weird baby shit. Do you know where the keys to the… Oh…Ah… I see you’re busy, too… I’ll.. go buy heroin and kill myself…

Ok… So… Adult babies meets humilation fetish in a meeting of the oddness. This fits into the Alex Shaw, from School of Movies, fetish danger scale firmly in the “Weird but not harming anyone” category. In theory I understand the concept of baby regression and wanting to be taken care of but I totally do NOT get the whole humiliation thing. Life sucks enough without having to pretend to be an emasculated baby man in a diaper with a cage on your dick and plug up your ass. But as long as you’re doing that at home then go bananas. This may be unkind but I pray this never becomes accepted enough that people do it public. I don’t think I could contain my scorn… I apologize for being judgy but… yeah… Unless it was Trump…

Here is the link to The Something Awful Weekend Web that launched a thousand dirty nappies. I seriously used to look forward to trying to find the dumbest things on every forum I went on. I have to admit I was pretty good at it! *humblebrag*

And here’s a link to the The F Plus episode I mention on the podcast. 63: Achtung! Adult Babies! I seriously recommend listening to the baby talk story. I remember walking down the street laughing with a pained look on my face. So good.

Thanks for listening everyone!

Lou Reads ep158 Conspiracy Madness from the Let’s Roll Forums

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This podcast is an obvious tool of the MSM (mainstream media) to help perpetrate a fraud on the people of the Earth. I mean, you can hear that the “human” who is reading these posts is clearly either an A.I. approximation of a human designed to trick normals or an MK-Ultra brainwashed dupe. I feel sorry for the sheeple who listen to this and come out believing that contrails aren’t poisoning the earth for real or that the Boston Marathon bombing was real and not a big hoax. All I can say is, if someone comes for my guns… I’ll be sad… But at least then I’ll be right, for once!

I know a guy who said he knows a guy who knows Alex Jones and he said Alex Jones never said this. So who said it? Obviously the Mossad!

Hey, folks. This month I’m reading from the Let’s Roll Forums. Obviously, that is a reference to the words of the people who fought back against the hijackers on 9/11 and not a reference to them loving Katamari Damacy. The Let’s Roll Forums are a one-stop-shop for all your crockpot conspiracy theories. From 9/11 to Sandy Hook and beyond. No tragedy is so real that it’s above not being real at all. And just like that sentence, none of it makes sense. So, if you like to get worked up into a lather about stuff then this is the place for you! Won’t you please enjoy listening to the heartfelt weirdness of the Let’s Roll Forums.

Lou Reads ep157 Canadian Escort Reviews

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Prostitutes, who doesn’t love them? I mean, who doesn’t love them as long as they give a full & real Girlfriend Experience and don’t try to rip me off and look at me while we’re fucking! How am I supposed to fool myself into thinking you are enjoying this if you won’t look at me? LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!

Nothing sadder than a hooker looking for a handout.

The weird and wonderful world of escort lovers. I’m sure you’ll all recall when I read from the English escort review site PUNTERNET. Well, I thought it was time that I read about some of the great ladies of the evening from the Great White North. So strap on your headphones and get ready to hear some tales of the amazing & not so amazing sex workers of Canada!

Lou Reads ep154 – The Forums of Plenty of Fish

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Thank the bearded skyman that I haven’t had to deal with the humiliations of the online dating scene. Knowing how terrible I was at dating in general as a young adult it withers the soul to think of putting myself through that now. Luckily for me these fine people are online dating and talking about their trials & tribulations. Now, these aren’t stories of bad dates but just general dating discussions that I found interesting… I do hope you’ll enjoy the forums of Plenty of Fish.

lonely_lady

Lou Reads ep149. The Horrible Racism of ShitSkin.com

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Look, we’re all a little racist, right? We all dabble in little stereotypes we think are based in reality. You know, like all Puerto Ricans are carrying at least 2 knives at all times or black people don’t tip or that filipino people’s livers can be used to cure AIDS. I’m sure we’ve all said that last one. But, I’m sure we can all agree that really, all we want to do is complain about African Americans. Like, all the time. It’s nice to know that there is a place you can go on the internet to hang out with like minded people and just pour all your super bad feelings about African Americans in a terrible echo chamber for like-minded bigots. That place is of course Shit Skin Plantation.

I'm not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked. — I’m not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked.

Shit Skin is a new home for the people who used to post openly super racist things at the now defunct Chimp Out website. While not as busy a site as Chimp Out, Shit Skin is still full of virulent uber racism. FUN! I won’t lie, reading from this website was unpleasant and although I have a few similar sites in my spreadsheet I will probably take a break from reading anything so over the top as far as using the N-Word is concerned!

Enjoy!

Lou Reads ep145: Confessions from the Pages of Naughtypost.com

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Hey, I know this is weird, but I have a confession to make. Sometimes I go on the internet and write anonymous confessions about super mundane things I do in my life that no one cares about. Like, how I took out the trash today and then thought about how we’re ruining this planet with our trash. What’s that you say? You kind of do the same thing? Oh, that’s cool. Like what kind of stuff do you write about? Oh, you write about how you fucked your sister and are cheating on your wife by giving blow jobs to strangers by the bus load? Huh… well what site are you posting them on? Naughtyposts.com? Well, what do you know. Me, too!

Bad, dog. You've been posting your stupid incest fantasies on the internet again , haven't you... — Bad, dog. You’ve been posting your stupid incest fantasies on the internet again , haven’t you…

Not much to be said about this episode. It’s basically people submitting stories about every kind of supposed naughty thing you can confess about it. Is any of it real? I’ll leave that distinction up to you for mine is not to judge but rather to read.

Thanks for listening to another stupid year of the the Internet being read for YOU! I sincerely appreciate it. See you in 2016!!!

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