Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! – Page 5 – Giving Voice to the Things You Didn't Want to Hear About

Lou Reads ep156 – Tales from the Forums of Drugs And Users

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DRUGS! WHOO! LET US CONSUME THEM IN MANY DIFFERENT MANNERS!

This time around I’m reading from the forums of Drugs and Users. This is a forum that rose from the ashes of the Opiophile forum. You may recall I did a couple of readings from that site before it closed.

If this is your idea of a light snack then you may want to hang out at Drugs and Users.

Far too many people start using drugs without the proper information they need. Whether it’s information about the addictiveness of certain drugs, the safe use of drugs, or how not to get ripped off, a lot of people have to learn the hard way. Fortunately for the online drug-using community, there are sites like this where people can feel free to share their experiences. Having drugs become your all-encompassing focus in life can make your world very small and these kinds of sites really do serve as a lifeline for a lot of users around the world.

That being said, there is a lot of entertainment value to be gleaned from the casual conversations of people deeply entrenched in their own drug-fueled lives. I hope you enjoy it.

Lou Reads episode 155 – The Forums of The Coli

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What up, my fellow CAC‘s? Listen, I don’t care if you get down with the local thots or you on that PAWG tip. All I care is that you listening to this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! This episode is all about a forum known as The Coli. The Coli is a forum dedicated to Sports, Hip Hop & PIFF. Among the other things they talk about are how to treat women, how to get revenge on mean gym employees and how they would feel finding out their girlfriend had slept with a dog. If that doesn’t make you want to listen then I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

Yeah, I'm talking about you, you damn CAC. — Yeah, I’m talking about you, you damn CAC.

Lou Reads ep154 – The Forums of Plenty of Fish

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Thank the bearded skyman that I haven’t had to deal with the humiliations of the online dating scene. Knowing how terrible I was at dating in general as a young adult it withers the soul to think of putting myself through that now. Luckily for me these fine people are online dating and talking about their trials & tribulations. Now, these aren’t stories of bad dates but just general dating discussions that I found interesting… I do hope you’ll enjoy the forums of Plenty of Fish.

lonely_lady

Lou Reads ep153 – Juggalo Discussions from Faygoluvers.net

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What up, fam? WHOOP WHOOP! I got mad love my for ninjas! Or rather that is what I might say if I were a Juggalo. I am not but the people at the forums of FaygoLuvers.net most certainly are. Join me as I read a bunch of random threads of Juggalos and Juggalettes sharing their opinions on a myriad bunch of topics and marvel as how often they get political!

If you’re confused about what I’m talking about when I talk about Juggalos then I recommend that you watch the video below. It is great.

American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Don’t forget to register to vote!

Lou Reads Episode 152 – Alien Abduction Forums

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I remember when I was a growing up as a kid there were two distinct periods when alien encounters & alien abduction were all the rage. There were shows in the 70’s like “Project Blue Book” and the classic “Alien Autopsy” film that was all the rage in the 90’s. My whole life I was into shows like The X Files & My favorite Martian or even the classic movies likeAlien! What I’m saying is that aliens from outer space are great entertainment! That is, unless they are visiting you in the middle of the night to do weird experiments on you while you’re sleeping! That hardly seems fair or necessary. And yet our alien visitors continue to come to earth to torture & probe & experiment on us while we sleep. Surely they should use all their superior technology to make the earth a better place to live! But no, it turns out that aliens aren’t like My Favorite Martian after all. They are night visiting, paralyzing, sample taking assholes.

Mondays, am I right? These fucking star people... What a bunch of assholes. — Mondays, am I right? These fucking star people… What a bunch of assholes.

I hope you’ll enjoy listening to these discussions from the forums of the Alien Abduction Help. Are these people for real? Well, judging by the responses on this forum that these people believe not only in aliens but a whole host of conspiracies and mystical things. Also, judging by the low amounts of traffic on this website I’d say that the current level of global interest in alien abductions is pretty much zero. As always, thanks for listening! Be sure to rate the show on iTunes & wherever podcasts can be rated!

As mentioned on the episode: THE STORY OF THE ALIENS OF EL YUNQUE

Elder HunbatZ Men meets the Crystal Skull from Brazil

Meditation guide by Bonnie

Lou Reads ep151 – Mermaid Talk from the MerNetwork

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What’s the matter? You look like you came down with a case of fin rot! Come on you can share your feelings with me. Catfish got your tongue? Ok, well you don’t have to tell me what your deal is but if you feel like talking about it I recommend checking out the forums of The MerNetwork.

This photo didn't even come close to making me reconsider anything besides getting on the internet today... — This photo didn’t even come close to making me reconsider anything besides getting on the internet today…

This episode is all about the wonderful world of the MerMaiding community. I’ll bet you thought it was all about people who wish they were really MerMaids or debate the possibility of there being REAL mermaids in the depths of the ocean. Nope, it’s just some folks talking about dressing up like a half-fish and flopping around in pools. I’ll bet you feel like a real asshole now. Serves you right. Enjoy!

Lou Reads episode 150 – Tales of Sibling Injuries

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Ok, I admit I meant to push you off that cliff but I really didn’t mean for you to get THAT hurt. I guess in hindsight it should have been more obvious that a 300 foot drop may have resulted in multiple contusions. Again, my bad. But look at it this way. In 30 years, if you pull through, we are going to laugh & laugh. You might even get a fun nickname like “Old Falling Jim” and I might get called something like “Pusherman.” We don’t have to go with those ideas but, you know, just think about it. Ok, visiting hours are over so I’ll catch you later. Whatever you do, don’t die… Mom would be hella pissed at me if you do. Ok, later, little bro!

THIS IS A FUN GAME WE ARE PLAYING! SAY IT!

I don’t know if this is a good representation of the kind of posting that happens at the Fark.com forums but it is as close as I’m going to get for the time being. This episode is a collection of mostly fun stories of kids getting injured by or injuring their siblings. If you have a brother or sister (however they present their gender today) you’ll most likely have at least a few similar stories in your mental roladex. I’m sure my brother could make his own podcast about what a complete asshole I was to him growing up. Sigh… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this break from the wretchedness of the episodes of the recent past. I know I needed a break from the awfulness! Next month I’ll be back to the horrors. Until then, enjoy the show!

Lou Reads ep149. The Horrible Racism of ShitSkin.com

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Look, we’re all a little racist, right? We all dabble in little stereotypes we think are based in reality. You know, like all Puerto Ricans are carrying at least 2 knives at all times or black people don’t tip or that filipino people’s livers can be used to cure AIDS. I’m sure we’ve all said that last one. But, I’m sure we can all agree that really, all we want to do is complain about African Americans. Like, all the time. It’s nice to know that there is a place you can go on the internet to hang out with like minded people and just pour all your super bad feelings about African Americans in a terrible echo chamber for like-minded bigots. That place is of course Shit Skin Plantation.

I'm not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked. — I’m not going to lie. Reading this nonsense sucked.

Shit Skin is a new home for the people who used to post openly super racist things at the now defunct Chimp Out website. While not as busy a site as Chimp Out, Shit Skin is still full of virulent uber racism. FUN! I won’t lie, reading from this website was unpleasant and although I have a few similar sites in my spreadsheet I will probably take a break from reading anything so over the top as far as using the N-Word is concerned!

Enjoy!

Lou Reads Ep148 My Husband Pooped in the Shower

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Hey, it happens to everyone, right? You get in the shower, you realize you need to poop. Now you have a choice, get out and have a weird wet poop on the toilet or just have a sensical dump right there in the shower. Oh… that doesn’t happen to everyone? Uh… yeah.. me neither.

I'm glad this sign exists or I would be shitting in the shower every morning. — I’m glad this sign exists or I would be shitting in the shower every morning.

This episode was a pretty entertaining silliness. My own story of shower pooping (a complete accident) was part of a time in my life when I had constant irritable bowel syndrome issues. I won’t go into details but it was gross… Anyway, I hope you enjoy the episode. Ironically, I’m stuck home editing this because I have some kind of super terrible stomach flu! Blehhh.

Now watch this video. It is the best.

Lou Reads ep 147 – Share Your Druggiest Moments from Something Awful

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Oh my God, dude. Last week I was so wrecked. Dude, you would not believe it. I took so many drugs! How many? Like this many!

I took 5 reds, 3 blues, a hit of tan and smoked a banana peel.

What is the deal with 1p-LSD? Anyway, I always enjoy reading the stories of peoples silly (scary) adventures in altered states. Most of these are not THAT bad but they are still entertaining. I hope you find them so.

Best Vape Prices — Hey, buy your next vape at PuffitUp! Great service & Prices!