Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! – Page 4 – Giving Voice to the Things You Didn't Want to Hear About

Lou Reads posts from Hiccup Forum

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Oh boy, did I see someone with a case today! She was walking down the street and I could see her hiccuping and grabbing at her throat. It was so hot! Then I realized she was actually choking on some food that went down the wrong pipe. That was kind of disappointing so I just think about the part where I didn’t know she was struggling to breath to get turned on. Pretty hot, right!?

So hot until I realized she was actually choking to death.

So, this months episode is a trip to the pages of Hiccup Forum. As you might have guessed this is forum is exclusively for people who are turned or somehow activated when they see or hear hiccups. There are obvious parallels to the folks from the Sneeze Fetish Forum due to the specific nature of their interest in highly specific body spasms. However, there doesn’t seem to be any crossover. Please enjoy this exploration of the world of folks who get their jollies when a spasm contracts the diaphragm, a large sheet of muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity, causing an intake of breath that is suddenly stopped by the closure of the vocal cords (glottis). HOT!

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Lou Reads ep166: Is It Normal? If You Have to Ask….

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Hey guys,

I know this is weird but when I come across weird websites on the internet I have this compulsion to share them with strangers in podcast form… Is it normal to do that? No? Oh well…

No funny caption. Just be yourself as long as you aren’t hurting other people you moron.

This month’s episode is all about asking the Internet to validate your weird behavior. Do you have a thing you do but you’re not sure if anyone else does it? Well go to isitnormal.com. The helpful people there will help guide you to the realization that you are a weirdo in no time.

I hope you enjoy it!

Lou Reads ep165 – I Put a Love Spell on YOU! Because You’re Mine! Thanks, Ashra.Net

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So… I just wanted you to know that when we broke up I kind of went a little crazy. I was pretty upset and I decided that since we’re soulmates and fated to be together I would speed up our eventual reconciliation by paying real money for a love spell to bring you back to me. I also paid for spell to make your new relationships not work. See, by making sure you couldn’t find happiness with another person it totally made you come back to me in a completely natural way!

So this month’s episode is a reading from the forums of Ashra.net. I was surprised to find that a single spell-caster had her own fairly active forum dedicated almost 100% to discussion about her and how great she is. I was also surprised to discover how many folks out there are willing to spend money on love spells. It’s been a while since I visited the forums of Lucky Mojo and had kind of forgotten about this world of sad people who believe in spells affecting their romantic targets. I mean… they don’t really work… right? Anyway, get ready to hear a lot of praise for this lady! Enjoy.

Lou Reads ep164 – Return to FetLife Mountain: The Destroyed Pussy Adventure.

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Fetlife, short for “Fetish Life” (I’m assuming), is an online forum for kinksters of all varieties. If you’re vanilla (aka a normal sex person) then you probably don’t want to go there. However, if you’re into something… unusual… or just plain fucked up sexual weirdness, this is place for you!

That firecracker really did a number on your pussy! Good job!

While I enjoy reading from Fetlife because it is full of all manner of super candid sexual absurdity, it is a very supportive and rational kind of absurdity. If I knew someone was having trouble finding people who want to talk about destroying their tits or wanted to find out where to go to talk about giving women orgasms via throat fucking, well, Fetlife would have to be the first place I’d recommend. Lucky for me I’m rather vanilla so no eating piss soaked dog food in my future. But hey, whatever floats your boat! I hope your enjoy the episode.

Lou Reads ep163 – Men Come First in the SubReddit of The Red Pill

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So, here we are once again. Why do I keep coming back to the world of Men’s Rights & Pick Up Artists? Is it because their worldview, which they seem to insist is right by sheer will, is so incredibly negative and yet self-assured that it boggles the mind. I’m sure these guys would see me as a blue-pill, cuck-dupe and by their definitions they’d be right. Sure, I let guys fuck my wife while I cry in the corner. But, that’s my business.

This seems like it probably happens all the time. Worthy of a graphic for sure.

The Red Pill, as it turns out is yet another Men Going Their Own Way, man-centric self-improvement-movement that is also supposedly full of ways to trick women into sleeping with dudes. Does it work? You tell me! The scene certainly seems to alway be full of guys who are getting laid and living out their dreams in every way possible. It’s almost like they can’t lose. Like… Never losing. Almost impossibly so… Whatever, best of luck to them! I’ll be over here in the corner waiting for my wife to finish all this cuckolding stuff.

I hope you enjoy listening to this reading from Reddit’s The Red Pill subreddit!

Lou Reads – Ep 162 The Forums of SexInfo101.Com

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Hey guys & gals. I’m ashamed to ask you about this but… if I put my pee pee in a girls woo woo, can she get hypnotized by my sperms? She can? Wow, thanks internet. You saved me some grief!

Me-sa-vagina going to drain you-sa ball balls so good, yes?

So this months episode is a trip into the forums of sexinfo101.com. It’s the typical kind of place where people ask questions they should have learned the answers to when they were kids. Sadly, thanks to the United States stupid Puritanical fear of sex & pleasure, there are a lot of people out there who are just in the dark. Luckily for them they have a place like Sex Info 101 to help guide them through the mysterious world lurking inside their pants. And, as usual, there are a lot of weird or lost people out there. Join me in exploring the fascinating world of Sex Info 101.

Lou Reads ep161: Tales of Stupidity in Airplanes

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Podcast Episode 161 with service from your listening device to your ears. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in your ears for approximately 39 minutes. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all personal baggage underneath your seat or in your head compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for pod-off. In fact, don’t even recline at all because it’s only like a 2 inch recline and it isn’t worth the annoyance to the person behind you. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, except laptops and cell phones or whatever you’re going to listen to this on. Smoking is bad for you but I understand if you need it for addiction purpose for the duration of the podcast. Thank you for choosing Lou Reads Airlines. Enjoy your flight.

You better not ask me to carry your piss ANYWHERE!

After the traumatic response to last month’s episode I decided to go with a little palette cleanser. Simple stories of crazy stuff happening on planes from the r/AskReddit subreddit. I hope you enjoy it!

Lou Reads ep160: The Scabby Forums of Skin Pick

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Oh man, I can feel it. It’s almost there! Just a few more squeezes and I’ll get my reward. A reward of oil, dirt & bacteria. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get some pus! Maybe some of those nice blackhead rods that come out on a Biore strip. I just wish I all this blood would stop getting in the way of the squeezing!

This month’s episode of Lou Reads is a visit to the Forums of Skin Pick. Skin Pick is an online resource and community, for people who suffer from Compulsive Skin Picking. They also offer services to help you stop messing with your skin. I didn’t explore the services they sell but I did discover the uncomfortable world of those among us who just can’t leave their bodies alone. Do you think you have parasites in your skin? Are you convinced that your scabs are infested with foreign weirdness? Eat skin you’re peeling off your feet? Well, it sounds like you need a doctor. In the meantime you have Skin Pick.

Whether it’s absent minded picking at your face, belly button or feet… cut it out. It’s clearly a symptom of a disorder you should seek help for. Don’t eat your foot skin. Talk to a therapist. Tough love!

Lou Reads Ep159 – The Sissy Babies of Sissy Kiss

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Hewoe. I’m a witty, bitty baby. Won’t you put a bwutt pwug in my bum bum? Fank-oo berry much. Me wuv oo…

Hey Dad, where are the keys to the… Oh… I see you’re busy… I’ll.. uhh. ask mom…

Hey Mom, Dad is doing he weird baby shit. Do you know where the keys to the… Oh…Ah… I see you’re busy, too… I’ll.. go buy heroin and kill myself…

Ok… So… Adult babies meets humilation fetish in a meeting of the oddness. This fits into the Alex Shaw, from School of Movies, fetish danger scale firmly in the “Weird but not harming anyone” category. In theory I understand the concept of baby regression and wanting to be taken care of but I totally do NOT get the whole humiliation thing. Life sucks enough without having to pretend to be an emasculated baby man in a diaper with a cage on your dick and plug up your ass. But as long as you’re doing that at home then go bananas. This may be unkind but I pray this never becomes accepted enough that people do it public. I don’t think I could contain my scorn… I apologize for being judgy but… yeah… Unless it was Trump…

Here is the link to The Something Awful Weekend Web that launched a thousand dirty nappies. I seriously used to look forward to trying to find the dumbest things on every forum I went on. I have to admit I was pretty good at it! *humblebrag*

And here’s a link to the The F Plus episode I mention on the podcast. 63: Achtung! Adult Babies! I seriously recommend listening to the baby talk story. I remember walking down the street laughing with a pained look on my face. So good.

Thanks for listening everyone!

Lou Reads ep158 Conspiracy Madness from the Let’s Roll Forums

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This podcast is an obvious tool of the MSM (mainstream media) to help perpetrate a fraud on the people of the Earth. I mean, you can hear that the “human” who is reading these posts is clearly either an A.I. approximation of a human designed to trick normals or an MK-Ultra brainwashed dupe. I feel sorry for the sheeple who listen to this and come out believing that contrails aren’t poisoning the earth for real or that the Boston Marathon bombing was real and not a big hoax. All I can say is, if someone comes for my guns… I’ll be sad… But at least then I’ll be right, for once!

I know a guy who said he knows a guy who knows Alex Jones and he said Alex Jones never said this. So who said it? Obviously the Mossad!

Hey, folks. This month I’m reading from the Let’s Roll Forums. Obviously, that is a reference to the words of the people who fought back against the hijackers on 9/11 and not a reference to them loving Katamari Damacy. The Let’s Roll Forums are a one-stop-shop for all your crockpot conspiracy theories. From 9/11 to Sandy Hook and beyond. No tragedy is so real that it’s above not being real at all. And just like that sentence, none of it makes sense. So, if you like to get worked up into a lather about stuff then this is the place for you! Won’t you please enjoy listening to the heartfelt weirdness of the Let’s Roll Forums.