Lou Reads: The Rapture Forums Forums

by King Lou on October 13, 2009

The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!

Do you hear them? The trumpets! The trumpets! Oh lawdy lawdy! Lawdy done come to take me up to my reward!!!!

Oh wait. It’s just that guy with the kicking stereo system down the street. Dang. I thought for sure it was the rapture. Sorry everyone, false alarm. You can stop the wailing and gnashing of teeth, I guess. Or wait… Maybe I was left behind? No… No… it was just a false alarm. Yes. Thats it…. I’m not the one who is burning in Hell on earth. Thats going to be you… Which is fine by me….

Oh my. Its the rapture again! Thats right, the fighting jesus is coming and he’s going to be super pissed at what a bunch of jerks you all are. Not me of course. Jesus loves me. Yes he do. Well, if he does its not because of anything I’m doing for him. These people however are placing all their hopes and dreams on getting all rapturized in the near future.  And in their preparation for the end times and tribulations they indulge themselves in trying to decipher the signs god is sending them or the Devil is sending them or someone is sending them. And well they just love to talk about it. So won’t  you join me now as I read for you the kooky ramblings of the fanatics at the Rapture Forums.


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Elijah July 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

I’m raptured, it’s great!

Elijah July 24, 2015 at 2:07 am

ADMIN NOTE: YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS! DOOMSDAY IS NEIGH AND SUPER TOTALLY REAL AND NOT TOTAL NONSENSE! REPENT!

Today, Friday, July 24, 2015 A.D., is the 2,011th day in the 2,300 day cleansing period of Daniel 8:14; the 1,046th day in the 1,290 and 1,335 day periods of Daniel 12:11 & 12, respectively.

There are 289 days, inclusive, 288 days exclusive, 287 days factoring in time zones, until the Day of the Lord, Ascension Sunday, May 8, 2016 A.D., the First Liturgical Year of Judgment. (Malachi 4:5)

Elijah September 8, 2017 at 7:06 pm

I present the two greatest of the four-digit numbers in the Book of Daniel as equating to the same day, as the blessing in Daniel 12:12 must include those things of the greatest proportion : the General Resurrection of the Dead, the Judgment, Heaven, Eternal Life.

But this evening the countdown to the fullness of the 2,300 day cleansing period of Daniel 8:14 continues with 475 days remaining until the cleansing is complete on the First Sunday of the General Resurrection of the Dead, December 30, 2018 A.D.

final updates at : SOME DUMB SITE. There are only 475 days left so stop spamming your silly religious nonsense site.

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